


Hospitals and Hope

by rose_sunrise



Category: Smash (TV)
Genre: AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kyle Lives, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-09
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2017-12-10 21:37:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 81,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/790427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose_sunrise/pseuds/rose_sunrise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another man was in a car accident the same night as Kyle and the hospital accidently switched their records. Kyle is still unconscious so the mistake isn't found until his parents arrive to identify the body. Until then, everyone thinks Kyle is dead. Canon through 214, then AU. What might have been for Tom x Kyle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Hospital Error

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Smash characters or the Smash storylines that appear in this fanfiction, nor do I own the show itself.
> 
> Author's note: I wanted to write an AU in which Kyle lived and we see he and Tom explore what might have been. In this story, the hospital accidentally switched the hospital records of Kyle and another young man in a car crash the same night. The other man died and 'Kyle' is declared dead when he's actually just lying unconscious upstairs under a different patient name. Since police couldn't immediately get hold of Kyle's parents the next morning they called Tom but legally family had to identify the body and no-one else was allowed in to see Kyle. So episode 214 happens in the 24 hours it takes for his parents to be notified, fly back out to New York and alert everyone to the error. Tom only shows up right at the end of this prologue and we see his reaction in the next chapter.  
> Please let me know what you think ~ Rose

"Mr and Mrs Bishop, come this way please," the doctor stopped in front of a morgue table holding a body covered with a white sheet. "We did absolutely everything that we could but his injuries were just too extensive. I'd like to say again that I'm sorry for your loss. Now, the Sergeant and I need you to formally identify that this is your son. Please take as long as you need." With that, the doctor pulled the sheet away from the face of the man on the table. The rustle of the over-starched hospital sheet pierced through the silent, cold room.

Gripping firmly onto each other's hands Kyle's parents raised their eyes to the man on the table and Marie Bishop gasped loudly. "That's not, not..." she broke off.

Joined hands shaking between them, Chris finished for her, voice escalating to a shout as he advanced toward the doctor and cried out "That man is not Kyle. Where is he? Where is our son?"

Dr Brighton questioned "I'm sorry sir, ma'am?" before grabbing the patient chart, looking confused. "This isn't your son?" He held his hands up in a gesture designed to placate the clearly upset parents. "Alright, calm down please, just wait a minute, there's obviously been a mistake. I attended to this man when he came in last night and he is definitely the same patient that we treated under the name Kyle Bishop. There must have been some error."

Marie stepped forward to stand next to her husband, loudly demanding "Where is my son? Is he alive? Is he okay? Tell me where my son is right now!"

Dr Brighton took a deep breath before he responded, reminding himself that these people were understandably distressed and that the best way to defuse the situation was to find them some answers. "Mrs Bishop, Mr Bishop, I'm very sorry, but I don't know where Kyle is or what has happened to him. Please head back upstairs to the waiting room, I will let you know about your son as soon as I possibly can. Sergeant, would you come with me please so we can sort this situation out."

The doctor strode out of the morgue after the unhappy couple, walking straight to a nearby hospital computer whilst speaking in an undertone to the police officer. "I don't know what happened. Damn! Those parents are certain that man in the morgue isn't their son. God, this is a mess." He paused to tiredly drag his hand through his hair and thought quietly for a moment. "Wait, wait I think there was another young man in a car accident that night. He wasn't my patient but ... " he trailed off, typing quickly into the computer. "Okay, yes, there was another patient that night, brought into the ER within ten minutes of Kyle. Let's see, 25 year old male, Charles Turner, slim build, hit and run, he pulled through surgery but hasn't woken up yet. If someone screwed up and switched the records, this could be Kyle and the man down in the morgue could be Charles."

The Sergeant leaned over to look at the screen. "Similar age and build. Yes, this could be him. We'd better have his parents confirm. Doctor, we are going to have a long discussion about exactly how this happened later. For now though, let's see if this man is actually Mr Bishop."

The two men walked back over to the waiting room to Kyle's parents who jumped up immediately, demanding answers. Dr Brighton held up his hand for silence and calmly stated "I'm sorry about the delay. There was another young man injured in a car accident the same night as your son. That man hasn't woken up yet but his surgery went well and he's stable. We think that an error may have been made and the records might have accidently been switched, so the patient we have treated as Mr Turner might actually be your son Kyle. I apologise for the error. We do need you to confirm his identity so please come with me and I'll take you to him right now."

A couple of hours later, Marie sat quietly by her son's bedside, waiting for him to wake up. Marie smiled as she realised that this was the first moment of the day she'd had to sit quietly and simply appreciate that her son was alive. It had been an insane day, filled with the wrenching grief of losing her son and then the elation of finding out he was actually alive. Friends and family had had to be contacted about his death and she'd thought about his funeral arrangements with despair as she and her husband had madly flown straight back to the city they'd only just left. Then there had been the moment in the morgue when she'd steeled herself to see her baby boy lying still and cold on the table. Shafts of confusion and blinding hope had shot through her when she had realized that it wasn't her Kyle lying there. Then those long minutes in the waiting room that had felt like hours, when she had clung onto Chris while they desperately waited to hear Kyle's fate before the joy of seeing her son tucked into a hospital bed, bruised and battered but gloriously alive. A shower of apologies and explanations from the hospital had flowed over her and Chris as they'd madly called friends and family back again to tell them the good news.

The sound of footsteps dashing toward Kyle's room broke through her reverie and Marie looked up expecting to see her husband coming back in carrying the coffees for which he'd stepped out. To her surprise, she didn't even recognize the man that entered. He clearly recognized Kyle though, shock, grief and desperate hope slashed across his face, warring with one another as he ran into the room. The pain resonating in the man's eyes convinced her that he wasn't a threat to her son's continued health so with raised eyebrows she sat back calmly to watch the reunion unfold.


	2. In which Tom finds out

Tom skidded through the door into Kyle's room at a dead sprint and only just managed to stop short of crashing into the bed head first. His breath hitched as his eyes clung to the form of Kyle in the bed, hooked up to numerous machines and his face blank in unconsciousness. He looked broken but breathtakingly alive and the comforting beep of the heart rate monitor rang through Tom's mind above the rush of his own heart pounding through his ears. Tom reached out his hand shakily, placing it on Kyle's chest, just focusing on the rhythmic heartbeat and gentle rise and fall of his lover's warm chest. He brokenly breathed out "Oh, Kyle," shutting his eyes for a moment in wild relief before opening them race over the rest of Kyle's body. He was as pale as the hospital sheets he lay on, an IV delivering fluids directly into his veins. His left arm lay splinted on top of the covers and his face was still and relaxed, framed by a bandage taped onto the left side of his skull.

Tom reached his free hand out to grab Kyle's unbroken one before he collapsed into the chair next to the bed, bringing their joined hands to his lips. His head bowed and his eyes closed against the tears slipping down his cheeks. He sat there for a long moment before he moved their joined hands down to the bed to rest comfortably at Kyle's side. Sliding his other hand from where it still lay over Kyle's heart, Tom reached up and brushed gently over Kyle's forehead, tucking an errant lock back into place before settling softly over his cheek. Tom just stared at Kyle's face as relief cascaded through him. With every beep of Kyle's heart and each soft breath echoing in his ears, Tom felt himself relax a little more, let himself believe in the tactile proof of Kyle's life. Smiling gently, Tom stood and bent to brush his lips to Kyle's forehead before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

Tom was startled out of his reverie by the loud clearing of a throat behind him and a voice saying "Hi, I'm sorry to interrupt this little moment as I can see how happy you are that Kyle's alive, but you're kissing my unconscious son and I'd quite like to know who you are."

Tom spun around, still grasping Kyle's hand tightly in his own. "Your son, oh, Mrs Bishop, um, I'm sorry I didn't realise anyone else was here. I'm Tom Levitt, uh, a friend of Kyle's." The occasional tear still dripping slowly down his face Tom stuck his free hand toward her for a quick handshake. "I thought he was dead." He trailed off and had to clear his throat before continuing "Will he be ok? I mean, he's obviously hurt but he'll be fine, right?" Turning back to look at Kyle again and squeezing their joined hands he murmured "He has to be."

Marie Bishop studied Tom's face carefully for a moment before speaking "Yes, the doctor told his father and I that Kyle is out of the woods, barring any unexpected complications. He has a concussion, broken arm and several broken ribs. He was also bleeding internally when he was brought in but the doctors were able to patch him up and he should be just fine. He's expected to wake up sometime in the next few hours and then he'll need to take it easy until everything heals.

"Oh, thank God" Tom exhaled, bending over the bed again to press his lips into Kyle's hair. Turning back to Marie he asked "What happened, the police told me he was dead," his breath hitching. "They wouldn't even let me see him."

"Well, Tom, was it?" Marie paused for Tom to nod then continued "I'm Marie Bishop, by the way." As Chris stepped back into the room holding two coffees she added "This is my husband and Kyle's father, Chris. Chris, this is Tom Levitt, a friend of Kyle's. I was just telling him about the hospital mix up with Kyle and that poor other boy. Turning back to Tom, Marie continued "There were apparently two local hit and run accidents the night before last and both boys were brought here. The other kid didn't make it but somewhere between when they entered the hospital in critical condition and when they were rushed into surgery, the hospital accidently switched their records. Apparently Kyle and the other boy were both about the same age, build and colouring and one of the hospital staff just made a mistake. Since the other boy died and Kyle hadn't woken up yet, neither could tell the doctors that they had the names wrong. So the mistake wasn't discovered until Chris and I came in to identify Kyle's body. You weren't allowed to see him because the rules don't permit anyone who isn't family to see him until all the legal requirements have been completed." She added "Kyle's an only child. Of course his father and I flew out here as soon as the police contacted us but we were both at work by the time the police called our home yesterday morning. The police told us that they had spoken to a friend of Kyle before they informed us last night. I guess that was you?" She paused for Tom to nod again. "They're not really supposed to notify friends before family but apparently you had called Kyle quite a few times and left several messages of a personal nature?"

Tom glanced back at Kyle again and blushed slightly "I, yes, I had. We were supposed to meet up that night and he's always so polite so I was surprised when he didn't show up or call to cancel." He winced "I just thought he forgot our plans or he was trying to give me a hint. Still, I was a little worried so I called and left him a few messages. When I heard what had happened and I thought I'd never see him again" he shuddered. "I don't think I'll ever forget what that felt like, saying goodbye to him. We even dimmed the lights of Broadway in his honour last night. Well, our theatre at least."

Marie looked carefully down at Tom's hand, fingers still entwined with her son's then lifted her eyes to Tom's and asked "Who are you really to my son? I mean you were so focused on him when you ran in here that you didn't even see me sitting three feet away. The first thing you did was feel for his heartbeat, you still haven't let go of his hand and you kissed him. You obviously care very deeply about my son, it's written all over your face. I thought he was dating that nice Blake boy from the theatre but I don't believe that the two of you are just friends. Or at least, you don't want to be. So who are you really?"

Chris interjected "Yes, I'd like an answer to that too."


	3. In which Kyle wakes up

Tom stood up a little straighter, took a deep breath and looked both Kyle's parents directly in the eyes before speaking. "I'm honestly not sure what we are. We're so new and I think the intensity took us both by surprise. We haven't even talked about how we feel yet, let alone about the future but yes, I do care about him. When I thought that he'd died I realised just how much I do care about him. There's a lot for us to talk about when he's better. He's an amazing man and I hope he feels..." Tom cut his words off abruptly at a moan.

Hitting the call button for the nurse and hearing Chris and Marie call Kyle's name from behind him, he turned his full attention to the man lying on the bed. Squeezing the hand held in his Tom softly called "Kyle, Kyle can you hear me?"

Eyelids flickering, Kyle tilted his head toward the voice and whispered "Tom."

Tom smiled and quickly responded "Hi Kyle, you were in an accident but you're in the hospital and you're going to be just fine. Your parents are here too. Can you open your eyes for me?"

Kyle cracked his eyes open before slamming them shut again. "Hurts."

Tom squeezed his hand, softly saying "It's ok Kyle, the doctor will be here in a minute, just hang in there."

"Mmm'k Tom." Kyle used their joined hands to tug Tom down toward him. Bending down, Tom lifted his free hand it to stroke over Kyle's cheekbone, eliciting a small smile in response as he turned his cheek into Tom's palm. Tom inhaled sharply and gently kissed him again, feeling Kyle weakly try to kiss him back.

Before he could do anything else, the nurse darted into the room asking "You hit the call button. Is something wrong?"

Marie jumped in "He's awake." The nurse smiled, nodded and checked Kyle's vitals, saying that the doctor would be in shortly to check on him.

She left the room briefly then returned with Kyle's doctor who greeted Kyle's parents before saying "Hi Kyle, my name is Dr Marshall and I've been treating you after a car accident you were in two nights ago. I'm glad to see that you've finally woken up and the good news is that you should make a full recovery. I do need to check on your injuries and ask you some questions, then we can see about getting you something for the pain I'm sure you're in. Okay?"

Kyle murmured "Okay." and Dr Marshall responded "Great! I'll get started then" before asking Tom to step back so she could do the exam.

As Tom stepped away, the beeping of the heart-rate monitor started increasing in frequency. Surprised, Dr Marshall looked between the quickly worsening signs of distress from her patient and the man who had been sitting with him before quickly saying "Sir, please come back here. Talk to him please, he needs to stay calm or he could hurt himself. I'll work around you."

Tom immediately grabbed onto Kyle's hand, squeezing it and saying "Kyle, it's alright sweetheart. It's Tom, I'm right here and so are your parents. They're standing on the other side of the bed, your Mom just put her hand on your shoulder and your Dad's here too. You're going to be just fine. I know it hurts and that you're scared but I want you to focus on me okay? Calm down, I'm not going anywhere. Just focus on my voice."

He paused when Kyle whispered "Vienna."

"Vienna? You want me to sing it to you?" Tom asked, feeling Kyle squeeze his hand. "Alright then, though you should know that it's much easier to serenade you when I have a piano. Here goes nothing then." Tom took a deep breath, then softly started singing "Slow down you crazy child..."

Watching her patient's vitals slowly returning to more normal levels the doctor signaled Tom to keep singing while she finished checking Kyle's then smiled at him before saying "Alright, I'm all done. You can shut your eyes now Kyle." Turing to his parents she added "Everything looks good, I'm going to prescribe him something for the pain but he's doing well and he should be able to go home in a day or two. We do need to make sure he stays calm though or he could hurt himself. Talk to him, hold his hand and the nurses will keep a close eye on him. I'd really prefer not to give him a sedative because of his concussion so please try to keep him calm." She grinned at Tom before saying "You seem to be good at that. He definitely responds to you. I loved the a cappella Billy Joel too. Tom Levitt, the musical half of Houston and Levitt, yes? I'm a fan. Right then, any questions? No? Ok, I'll be back to check on him in a few hours. Just let him rest until then." She turned and stepped out of the room, humming "Vienna" under her breath as she walked.


	4. Phone calls and pain relief

The nurse busied herself around the bed, telling Kyle he could call her Olivia and administering the pain medication the doctor had ordered before telling him to try to relax. "The pain meds should kick in a few minutes and he'll probably just sleep for a few hours after that. Hit the call button if you need something or if anything changes" she said, heading toward the door. On her way out of the room she stopped for moment to glance over to Tom and add "I'm not really supposed to comment on a patient's relationships but I just wanted to say that you're really sweet with him. I'm not sure if you realise how rare it is that you could calm him so fast given how much pain he's in. He's lucky to have you." She smiled at Tom before walking back out to the nurses' station.

Marie turned to Tom scrutinizing his expression, commenting "She's right you know, you really are sweet with him."

Tom responded quietly "I care about him. It's that simple." Then he stood, changing the subject and saying "I really need to call Julia now that I know he's going to be okay. I left her standing at the theatre without a word."

"Julia? Who's that?" Chris questioned. "Wait, actually how did you even know to come down here? We called immediate family and a few close friends back home and Marie left Jimmy a message but that was all."

Tom explained "The police Sergeant who'd called me yesterday called back. He apologised and said something about the hospital mistake but honestly, I didn't hear anything after he said Kyle was alive. I knew he'd been brought to this hospital so I came straight here. Julia is my writing partner, Julia Houston, we write musicals together. That's what the doctor meant when she mentioned Houston and Levitt. Anyway, Julia's probably worried about me since I kind of ran out the door in the middle of rehearsal. I needed to see Kyle but I should really call her now that I know he's going to be okay. She was really upset about his death yesterday and deserves to know that he's okay. They've spent a lot of time together while working on the book for Hit List and I know that she considers him a friend. I don't want leave him though so do you mind if I make the call from here instead of stepping outside? Obviously I can't turn my mobile phone on in here because of the medical equipment but I could use the hospital phone."

"No, that's fine, please go ahead" Marie stated.

Tom picked up the phone from behind the bed and dialed. The line picked almost immediately with "Hello?"

"Hi Julia, it's Tom."

Julia rattled off urgently "Tom! Are you ok? Where are you? You charged out of rehearsal and then your phone kept going to voicemail and no one knew where you were! After yesterday, I was so worried something awful had happened to you!"

Tom calmly responded "Julia, I'm fine. I'm wonderful actually. My phone was off because I was at the hospital. The phone call in rehearsal was the police officer that called me yesterday about Kyle. He's alive. Kyle's alive! He's a bit banged up and in a lot of pain but the doctors say he'll make a full recovery."

Julia interrupted him and said carefully "What? Kyle's alive? Tom, honey, are you sure you're not just imagining things because you want him to be alright so badly?"

Tom rolled his eyes and answered "Yes, I'm sure Julia. I'm actually standing in his hospital room with his parents. Apparently there were two men in car accidents that night and the hospital screwed up the records somehow, switching the names. So when the other man died, Kyle was reported dead when he was really only unconscious under the wrong name. When Kyle's parents came in to ID the body, they realized the error and here we are. He's alive Julia. Alive!" Tom exclaimed brightly, a huge smile breaking over his lips as joy danced through his eyes.

"Tom, that's wonderful news! I'm so happy to hear it. I'll let everyone here know right away. Can I come visit? I'd like to see him and I'm sure a lot of others will want to too. He's such a sweet guy and he always had a kind word for everybody. He has a lot of friends here who were devastated yesterday."

"Actually Julia, do you think you could ask people to wait until tomorrow? Kyle's still really out of it, he's hardly said 10 words since he woke up and he's in a lot of pain. The doctors say he needs to stay calm and rest." He quirked the side of his mouth into a half-grin, adding wryly "Somehow I don't think that having everyone rush in here, chattering away and hugging him is going to be conducive to rest so he's not really up for visitors today."

"Fair enough Tom. I'll ask people to wait until tomorrow. It sounds like to the hospital might refuse visitors access to him if they try anyway. Well, I'd better go tell everyone. Please give him our love. And don't think I haven't noticed that his parents are apparently letting you stay even though you're not family and you've just said he isn't up to see any visitors yet. I think there's something rather important that you've forgotten to tell me about the two of you!" She grinned cheekily, adding "You can tell me all about it later. And Tom, I'm so happy for you. I admit, he's a bit younger than I expected you to go for but he's wonderful and I think you'll be great together. I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye Julia." With that, Tom returned the phone to its cradle.

He then turned back and spoke to Kyle's parents again. "Ok, that's done, she'll make sure everyone gets told Kyle's alright. Now, I know that the two of you probably have more questions for me but Kyle needs his rest and I don't want to keep talking for too long while he's trying to sleep. So can we keep it short and table the extended discussion until later?"

Marie spoke up "I agree that we need to have a little chat. I mean Kyle told us only a couple of days ago that he was dating Blake and said nothing about you. Plus, from what you said about your work, I realized that I actually do recognise you. Kyle used to go on and on about Houston and Levitt musicals and your partnership. He's talked about you for years, which I obviously find concerning. Plus, of course, there's the age difference which is, oh about 15 years?" Tom nodded before Marie continued "I do want to talk about all of that, with both you and Kyle. But the most important thing for both Chris and I is that Kyle's happy. I could see how much you cared about him the second you ran into the room. And even half delirious, fighting through the pain and confusion, he knew you. He recognised your voice and your touch and they made him feel safe. He responded more strongly to you than to either Chris or I. He obviously cares about you and trusts you a great deal. For now, that's enough for me. We can talk about the rest later."


	5. Unorthodox methods

Hours passed in quiet solicitude before Kyle's eyes fluttered open again. Still in the first moments of awakening, he shifted onto his side, freezing part way through the motion and letting out a whimper as pain etched itself across his face. He clutched his right hand to his chest as alarms began to ring through the room. The nurse hurried in, quickly assessing the situation and moving straight to the bed. "Kyle, you've probably just jarred your broken ribs. The pain from that caused your heart rate and blood pressure to skyrocket and set off the alarms. I'm guessing you tried to turn over onto your side too quickly?" Nurse Olivia checked her patient's wounds swiftly before adding "Well, he hasn't ripped out any of his stitches and I can't see any other problems so it was probably just the movement of his ribs. Kyle, has the sharp pain settled down now you've stopped moving?" she asked.

Kyle responded "Yes. But everything still hurts."

Dr Marshall walked into the room, checking over Kyle and conferring with the nurse before saying "Okay Kyle you're doing great, try to relax please. Mr Levitt, can you come hold his hand again please, try to calm him?" She then turned to the worried parents and said "He's okay, he's much more awake than he was earlier. That's a good sign that he's recovering as we would like. However, it also means that he's more aware of the pain and most of the painkillers we gave him a few hours ago have probably worn off by now. Unfortunately he isn't due for his next dose for another hour. That's all perfectly normal but because he's distressed his heart rate and blood pressure are much too high. Again, it's a completely normal response to the pain but it's not good for him and the rapid breathing will actually be making his ribs hurt even more. If we can't get him to relax soon then we'll have to give him something but I'd really prefer not to. His concussion has definitely improved but the risks of sedating him or giving him stronger painkillers are still increased."

Kyle spoke up "Don't want extra drugs. No drugs, just Tom."

"Kyle?" Tom questioned, squeezing his hand as his own heart slowly returned to a normal speed following the panic of the alarms and Kyle's apparent anguish. "Hey, I'm right here. What can I do?"

Voice tight with distress, Kyle breathed "Need you to hold me. Please."

The doctor frowned, looking down at Kyle's pale, pained expression and rapid breathing and then glancing at Tom. She considered the request for a few long moments before nodding decidedly "Unorthodox methods it is. It's against hospital policy but yes, I'll allow it on one condition. I'm sorry that this is might be awkward Mr Levitt but I need to ask about you and Kyle, you're involved right? Physically I mean. Because if you are then I'm happy to have you accede to his request and try that rather than giving him more drugs. He certainly responded very well to you earlier and he seems to feel at ease with you sitting with him. But if he isn't comfortable with you holding him, if that doesn't feel familiar and safe then he might get even more distressed instead of calming down. So, are the two of you involved?"

Blushing faintly under the intent stares from Kyle's parents Tom said simply "Yes."

Dr Marshall continued "Alright then. Kyle obviously consents and I really think we should try this so as long as this is acceptable to you Mr and Mrs Bishop" she paused to wait for any objections then continued "Okay Tom, up you get. Just be careful of his injuries, move very slowly."

Tom climbed up onto the bed, speaking softly to Kyle the whole time. "It's okay Kyle, it's just me, I'm going to lie down so I can hold you. You're going to be fine, hang in there for me sweetheart. I've got you." Tom carefully situated himself under the blankets as he spoke, gingerly turning Kyle onto his right side and twining their legs together before settling Kyle's head onto his chest. He then slid his arm to wrap around Kyle's shoulders, holding him close and using his free hand to card through his lover's hair gently. Kyle sighed deeply, nuzzling his cheek into the warmth of Tom's chest. Relaxing, he curled his body into the older man and focused on the rhythmic thrum of his lover's heartbeat beneath his ear.

Dr Marshall glanced at Kyle's vitals and interrupted the moment, commenting "Well, that seems to have worked. The two of you, your connection..." She trailed off, shaking her head briefly and continuing, "Okay, for now we'll just keep trying that. Based on that reaction Mr Levitt, I think you'll be able to keep him relaxed enough to sleep well tonight despite the pain. He needs plenty of sleep to heal and if can get enough he should start to feel quite a bit better tomorrow. Since this is against hospital policy, I will need to let the nurses know you have my permission and that they are not to kick you out of bed. If someone tries, please ask them to page me and confirm. I'm on call tonight so there shouldn't be any problems. Now, the nurses will be in and out during the night to check on him and give him his medication so just let him rest as much as possible in between all of that." She cast her eyes around the room and added "I know it's only 8pm but the three of you should all try and get some sleep too, you look absolutely exhausted. Mr and Mrs Bishop, normally I'd ask you to go home and rest since Kyle is stable and visiting hours are almost over but I know these were unusual circumstances due to the hospital error that unfortunately occurred. So, if you'd like to stay, I can have the orderly set up two cots for you in here. Would that be something you'd be interested in?" Marie and Chris nodded and everything was set up rapidly. "Great! Goodnight then, I'll be back to check on Kyle in morning rounds. Just hit the call button if anything changes." With that she walked out of the room, leaving everyone to settle down.

Goodnight pleasantries completed, Tom's full attention returned to the man in his arms. "Hey Kyle, how are you doing? Is this better?" Tom asked tenderly.

Kyle nodded, his head rubbing slowly against Tom's chest as he mumbled "You make everything better."

Raw emotions surging through him, Tom shifted his head down to kiss the crown of Kyle's head, lingering for a few seconds with misty eyes before continuing to stroke his hand over Kyle's hair. He wanted to take away the pain, to protect him and make him better. Tom was still reeling with emotion, the remnants of heart-wrenching grief mingled with intense joy and relief and tempered with the pain of Kyle's injuries. Weaving through everything was the deep connection he felt to Kyle, how profoundly he cared. Kyle made him feel things he'd never experienced and he thought to himself that it would be so easy to fall in love with this incredible man. Everything felt so intense that Tom wondered if he already had as he cradled Kyle in his arms, a warm haze of future possibilities flowing through his mind. He saw countless nights curled together in his apartment, making love and waking to lazy morning kisses. He saw himself serenading Kyle to distract him whenever he worked too hard. He saw Kyle smiling at him over shared breakfasts, grinning as he made some joke before leaning over to press their lips together in shared mirth. He even saw them 10 years down the road, a tiny little girl with Kyle's eyes and smile giggling as she swung back and forth between them.

Tom was pulled out of his imaginings as Kyle shifted closer, his breathing evening out. Tom focused on the feel of his lover in his arms, on his warmth and his life, letting the resulting contentment lull him toward sleep. Before he drifted off he thought to himself that as soon as Kyle was better, they needed to talk. He still had no idea what he and Kyle were but after the rollercoaster of emotions he'd felt yesterday and today, he knew what he wanted. And he wanted everything.


	6. Parental reflections and vocal mishaps

Morning dawned bright and early over the ever-present clatter and bustle of the hospital. As Marie stirred, the events of the past two days hit her suddenly and jolted her to full awareness. She immediately looked to her son and the sight of him brought a gasp to her lips. Her baby boy lay entwined in the crisp hospital sheets with a man she barely knew. It wasn't that she had any problem with them as such. She had concerns but she had meant what said to Tom the previous day, as long as Kyle was happy she would be too. It was just so incredibly strange to see her son sound asleep, lying serenely in another man's arms and trusting him implicitly. Rationally, she knew that they had gone to sleep curled up together like this so it wasn't strange to see it this morning. It was simply that she'd been far too exhausted and overwhelmed yesterday to give much thought to the intimacy beyond the obvious comfort it had given her injured son.

She was still dazed that Kyle had said nothing about Tom. He'd said he was seeing Blake, though he'd added quietly that they were taking it easy, seeing how things went before jumping into anything too serious. She'd liked Blake but Kyle hadn't seemed especially interested and she wasn't too surprised that it had apparently ended. But she was certainly surprised to find Kyle clearly seriously involved with someone else not even three days later. They'd moved a little overnight, one of Tom's arms still wrapped around Kyle's shoulders and the other slung low over his hips. Their heads rested gently against one another, Tom's chin against the top of Kyle's head where it lay pressed directly over his heart. Their expressions were tranquil and they breathed softly in tandem. She quietly hopped out of the hospital cot, nudging her husband awake and pointing toward the bed, whispering "Chris, look at them. I was too shocked to ask yesterday, but did he say anything to you? I had no idea and it's strange to see him with someone like that."

Chris chuckled and gestured for her to step outside with him so they could converse quietly without waking the couple. "Honey, I'm sorry to laugh at you, but after how they were yesterday, what did you expect? I don't know if Tom's even realised it himself yet, but he's in love with Kyle. I'm sure of it. As for Kyle, you said yourself that even half-delirious Kyle knew who he was and trusted him completely. We'll have to wait and see how they interact when Kyle's fully awake but their connection is almost palpable. I know it's strange to see Kyle in such a serious relationship, it's brand new to us and of course it was only a few days ago he told us he was dating Blake. We will definitely have a chat to him about what on earth he was thinking and why he felt he had to lie to us. But, if I had to guess, Tom walked into his life and completely blindsided him. Tom did say that things were very new and both of them were surprised by the intensity. So, to answer your question, no, he didn't say anything to me either."

Taking her hand, Chris continued "But honey, you had to know it would happen eventually. I know that at times we both still see the bright-eyed little tyke who chattered up to us about every moment of his day but he's all grown up. He's 24 years old and he's a good man. It was only a matter of time before he fell in love and I know that we both want him to have that in his life. You've said yourself how proud you are of him, of the kind, smart and strong man he's become. You can't blame Tom for noticing that. By all accounts, Tom's a good man and an acclaimed, well-respected and successful musical theatre score writer. I woke up for about an hour at 2am and had a little chat with the night nurse. She was kind enough to let me use her computer to do some research. He's involved in long-term charity work, has a decade-long writing partnership and as far as I could tell, he's only dated two men in the past two years. Most of the somewhat scandalous gossip his name is attached to is about his troubled musical Bombshell, not the man himself. Oh, and he's 39, so he's 15 years older than Kyle. I know to take newspapers reports and gossip mags with a grain of salt, but it matches up with my impression that he's a good man. Marie, we both know that Kyle could have picked far worse than a smart, sweet, talented and gainfully employed man who by all appearances is madly in love with him. What's a few years age gap compared to that? Besides, aren't you even a little glad that it isn't Jimmy?"

Marie groaned, saying "Jimmy wouldn't have been the worst option in the world, he does genuinely care about Kyle but he wouldn't have made him happy. It would have been a disaster. I'm so glad that Kyle eventually got over that crush. You're right, it could have been far worse than Tom, or Jimmy even. Kyle's too nice sometimes, too ready to see the best in people and too willing to sacrifice himself to help them. He needs someone who won't take advantage of that, who'll protect him and love him fiercely and deeply. Someone strong and smart and kind and loyal. Someone he can rely on, someone with whom he can have an equal partnership, where they take care of one another. With Jimmy, it's been lopsided for years, Kyle has to constantly be the strong, loyal one, giving far more kindness than he gets back. He's too busy picking up the pieces and fixing things for Jimmy to get taken care of in return. Don't get me wrong, I love Jimmy but sometimes I hardly even recognise that boy anymore. He was such a nice lad when they were growing up, cute as a button, bright and carefree, so absorbed in his music that it practically flowed out of every pore. He and Kyle were constantly running about together and I remember how supportive Jimmy was for years in school after Kyle came out and ended up the favourite target for bullies. But that was all before that awful business with his father and then his brother happened. It was terrible and I understand why he turned out this way but it's just such a waste of his potential."

She sighed, adding "I just hope Jimmy figures out someday that he doesn't have to let it define him, that he can become a good man despite his upbringing rather than a poorer man because of it. I'd love to see that Jimmy as our son's best friend. I think I'd like him. But we were talking about Kyle and Tom. You're right. I was being overemotional. I think I'm still a bit of a wreck after yesterday. I mean, I know our baby's all grown up, a wonderful man and I want him to have an incredible love in his life. I hardly know Tom but I like what I see and if he's the one, if he's Kyle's choice then I think I'll be happy. It's just that like you said, sometimes when I look at Kyle I still see the adorable little boy he once was, wide-eyed with excitement and babbling up at me through his eyelashes. We did a good job though, didn't we?" She asked, grinning at Chris' nod a little tearily. He put his hand onto her back in comfort, looking a little teary-eyed as well.

Dr Marshall walked over to them, stopping to ask if everything was alright. Chris responded "We're fine. We were having a little moment reflecting that our son is all grown up. It's nothing to worry about, we're grateful that he has a future to experience and that he's found someone special to experience it with."

The doctor smiled at them a little wistfully "Yes, it's hard to let them go, isn't it? He will still need you, even though it will be different. Plus you're lucky, the connection between those two in there is something special. Now, enough on that, you'll get me into trouble. I'm sure you know that I'm not allowed to have an opinion on my patient's personal life!" she finished with a conspiratorial wink before smoothing her face back into her usual composed expression. "Let's go see how the patient is feeling this morning, shall we?"

Dr Marshall walked over to the couple on the bed, understanding what had instigated his parent's contemplation as she spoke quietly to wake them. Tom woke immediately in response to her greeting, shifting slightly and gently tightening his arms around Kyle as the edges of his lips twitched upwards into a soft smile. His eyes slid opened and he looked down at Kyle with a warm and completely unguarded expression of affection before glancing back up. "Morning doctor. He slept pretty well most of the night. Do you want me to wake him?" Tom asked, voice still scratchy with sleep. At her nod, Tom lifted his arm from where it lay around Kyle's hips and slid it softly through the younger man's hair, murmuring "Kyle, hey Kyle, it's time to wake up. The doctor needs to see how you're feeling today."

Kyle woke with a contented hum and a mumbled "Mmm, morning Tom. I love sleeping with you" before tilting his head up to kiss Tom briefly and settling back onto his chest. A moment later Kyle froze, squeezing his eyes shut as his face heated in embarrassment. "Wait, Tom, the doctor? Everyone is in here, aren't they? My parents?"

Feeling Tom's chest rumble under his ear as he let out a quick laugh, Kyle opened his eyes to wave at his parents sheepishly and say quietly "Hi Mom and Dad. Can we please pretend I didn't say that?"

Trying to muffle her laughter Marie interrupted him to comment "Honey, it's fine, don't be embarrassed. I'm just so glad you're okay." She wiggled her eyebrows playfully and pointed at Tom to add in a stage whisper "Besides, I like him."

Chris joined in, saying "Kyle, son, I'm so glad that you're okay." His voiced cracked as he added "For a while there we thought we'd lost you. We'll talk later but the doctor is here so we should let her get on with it. Tom's pretty great though, huh?"

Voice alight with amusement, Dr Marshall commented "Well, it looks like you're feeling quite a bit better today Kyle. I'm not sure if you remember me from yesterday, you were pretty out of it, but my name is Dr Kathy Marshall and I've been treating you since your accident. I'm guessing from how you're acting that your headache is mostly gone and your ribs and stomach aren't hurting too badly as long as you don't move much? Yes? Wonderful! That's what I wanted to hear. Okay, I'd like to do a full exam, so Mr Levitt, if you could hop up, we can get on with that. Actually, if all three of you could step out of the room for a few minutes, that would be great."

Tom carefully shifted out from underneath Kyle, kissing him again before whispering into his ear "Kyle, sweetheart, I'm so happy that you're feeling better. So amazingly happy. Whenever you feel up to it, I'd like to talk about us. To be clear, I want there to be an us. So let me know. And Kyle, for the record, I love sleeping with you too." With that, Tom shot Kyle a cheeky grin and dashed out the door.


	7. Corridor conversations

Stopping straight outside Kyle's room, Tom reclined against the wall, tipping his head back with a grin that stretched from ear to ear. He stood there quietly, eyes closed as his mind careened madly with delight. Kyle was much better, so alive, so responsive and just incredibly beautiful. Tom's lips tingled from their kisses and his body still hummed contentedly from where he'd held Kyle close in his arms.

Brought into the present by Marie asking if he was alright, Tom breathed out, exhilaration laced through every word, "I'm fine. I'm wonderful actually. God, it's amazing to see him feeling better. So full of life, smiling as his eyes light up the room." His voice trembled as he continued "I thought I'd never see that again. Then yesterday, I found out that he was alive but he was in so much pain and I felt so helpless. It hurt to see him like that. All I could do was hold him, try to keep him calm, but I couldn't take away the pain and I was so worried. So I'm fine. Completely fine. I'm just happy." Tom finished with tears in his eyes and huffed a laugh, adding wryly "See, happy tears" as he wiped them away.

Marie smiled at him, wiping away her own tears. "I understand. We both do. It is wonderful to have him fully awake and acting like himself again. He's always been an amazing boy, bright-eyed and incredibly easy to love. If I'm honest, I wasn't quite ready for someone special to notice that yet, for him to be all grown up and in love. But, I think the two of you will be good together. Oh, I didn't mean... It's not that I'm saying that you love him. Hmm, actually, do you love him?" She rambled, tilting her head questioningly as she waited for his answer. A split second later, her eyes shot wide open and she frantically continued "Wait, no, no, don't answer that. You don't have to answer that. I shouldn't have asked. You and Kyle have to decide what you want to do, not me or anyone else. Anyway, if you do love him, Kyle should be the first person who hears it. Oh God, I'm sorry Tom, I'm rambling." Chuckling, she added, "You've probably seen Kyle do that too. He gets it from me and it always drove him nuts that he inherited it that particular little quirk. And here I am, still babbling." She waved her hands around in an agitated fashion and requested "Chris, a little help, please?"

Chris stepped forward to her side, putting one hand on her back and patting Tom on the shoulder with the other before speaking gently. "Tom, you keep on feeling like that about Kyle and I'm really going to like knowing you. Now, I know we only have a few minutes so you can breathe easy, I'm not going to interrogate you. Marie's right anyway, you and Kyle have to decide what you want without interference from us. However, there is a few things I'd still like to say. I'm very curious about the two of you, about what happened between you and what the future might hold. You're clearly involved very seriously, both physically and emotionally. Between that little speech and how attentive you've been with him over the past couple of days, I can see that you care for him a great deal. He also clearly cares for you in return. Kyle's never been like that with anyone, never so comfortable with someone, so implicitly trusting and content. When he was in so much pain and the doctors didn't want to give him more drugs, he asked for you. Just you. As soon as you lay down, he practically melted into you, taking comfort from simply being close. Then this morning he behaved as though it felt completely natural to wake up in your arms and he even said as much to you. I've seen him date a few boys over the years, of course, but I've never seen him so content, so comfortable in a relationship. This is new, you're special to him." Chris halted his speech for a moment as his gaze on Tom became more intent.

"Yet, the connection I see doesn't match with the facts I know. Let's have a look at those, shall we?" Chris didn't bother to stop and wait for an answer, instead gesticulating as he continued, listing each point off on his fingers. "Kyle was dating someone else earlier this week. I've heard absolutely nothing about you from my normally open son. You said yourself things were very new and you don't even know where the two of you stand. But, you seem very comfortable in one another's company and you certainly kiss rather frequently for two people that supposedly aren't together! So, I'm confused. Marie and I had a little talk this morning and we agreed that Kyle hadn't said anything about you to either of us and we don't know why. We didn't even know you and he existed until yesterday when you ran in here. Tom, it worries me that he didn't talk to us about you. I don't know, maybe he was embarrassed that the two of you were obviously involved whilst he was seeing Blake. Maybe he was concerned about what we might think about the age difference or the fact that he's been a fan of your work for years. Maybe it was some combination of all of those options. I don't know and I will be asking him to please explain."

Taking a deep breath, Chris continued seriously "However, as long as you make Kyle happy, I really don't care about any of that. A fifteen-year age gap doesn't matter if the two of you are otherwise well suited and as far I can tell, you do seem to be. As for him being star-struck, he wouldn't respond to you so strongly if that was all that existed between you, so I'm not worried about that either. Finally, Blake, well, I'm not too sure what Kyle was thinking, but whatever happened there, it needn't affect the two of you moving forward together. All I want for him is to be with someone that loves him, protects him, is there for him and inspires him to return those feelings with equal fervour. You should know that I googled you earlier. Everyone seems to think you're a decent man, kind, smart, talented, sensitive and honest. So, I'm content to let the two of you to sort everything out without interference. All I ask is that if the two of you do decide to make a go of things, make sure you're the man everyone thinks you are, the man Kyle clearly thinks you are." Chris gripped Tom's shoulder tightly as he spoke, careful emphasis on each word. "Be that man and don't break his heart." With a final pat to Tom's shoulder, Chris grabbed Marie's hand and stepped back, smiling at Tom before speaking in a light tone. "Now, I think that completes the requisite fatherly lecture. So, I'm sure the doctor will be out in a few moments but in the meantime, why don't you tell Marie and I about your work with Bombshell? I read a little about it when I looked you up and I'd love to hear more."


	8. Doctor's updates and dimmed lights

As Tom began to tell the story of Bombshell, Dr Marshall popped her head out of Kyle's room and called them back in with a composed smile. "He's doing great. Everything seems to be healing nicely and the pain meds are doing their job. I'd like to try getting him up and moving around but if he keeps doing this well, I'm hoping to discharge him tomorrow." She turned her attention to Tom, gesturing him over to the bed. "Mr Levitt, if you would come and help him sit up please, slide your arm under his shoulders and around to his chest." Tom sat down next to Kyle and did as instructed, focusing carefully on not jarring the man as he moved. Once his arm was in place, he rubbed his fingers over Kyle's chest in a quick caress, eliciting a warm gaze and upturned lips in return.

The doctor exclaimed "Yes, exactly. Great! Don't move. Now Kyle, I want you to sit up gradually. Mr Levitt, support him but don't do all the work please." At Kyle's resulting wince, she added, "Ok, stop for a minute. Kyle, how bad is the pain?"

Kyle pressed his lips together in a grimace, eyes downturned for a moment before he plastered a determined expression onto his face and spoke. "It's not too bad. I can manage."

The doctor continued "Alright then. Kyle, I'm sorry but you're probably going to be sore for a few weeks, though it should get a little better day-by-day. You'll need to let us know if the pain becomes unbearable or changes signficantly, but otherwise I'm afraid you'll just have to grin and bear it." The doctor watched closely as she guided them to shift ninety degrees so that Kyle could swing his legs over the side of the bed one at a time. He then stood slowly, pressing back against Tom's chest for stability once he was upright.

His lover whispered down into his ear "Hey, if you need to, take a break. You're doing great Kyle" before tilting his head to press his lips against Kyle's temple and resting his head there. Kyle leaned into Tom's touch and took a few careful breaths, giving himself a few seconds to accumulate the courage to move. He then straightened his shoulders and proceeded to tread out into the corridor, holding onto Tom's arm for balance.

After a minute, Dr Marshall called out "Kyle, I don't want you walking too far the first time you're out of bed in a few days. Head back, please. We'll try to get you up for short bursts throughout the day. You'll need to get up for the bathroom anyway now that we've removed the catheter. Plus, you'll probably want a shower." She grinned and continued "Everyone always wants a nice hot shower as soon as they're able to have one. It's fine as long as you take care; you cover the cast with plastic, and put waterproof plaster over your stitches. Someone will also need to be in the bathroom with you or wait just outside the door, in case you need help. Whilst you're here, we'll have a nurse assist you. However, you'll need help at home too for the next week or so until things heal a bit more." She watched Tom assist Kyle to slide back into bed, attentively propping him up against the pillows and entwining their fingers before perching on the edge of the mattress. She then spoke up "Great! How did that feel Kyle?"

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows and clamped his lips tightly together as he responded. "Pretty shaky. Moving hurt more than I thought it would and I didn't even walk a hundred yards!" He finished with a frustrated sigh.

Responding to his agitation, the doctor continued, "Kyle, I know it probably doesn't feel like it, but that actually went well. You were seriously injured only a few days ago. It's going to take time for everything to heal. I know that's frustrating to hear for an active young man, but you will get better. You'll just need to be patient and take it easy until then. The good news is that I definitely think you will be able to go home tomorrow as long as you rest well today. However, Kyle, you will need to stay with someone for a few weeks after I release you. I know that your parents live out of town and I'd prefer if you stayed with someone locally since you'll need to come back in for checkups and so forth. So please sort it out amongst yourselves. I can't release you from my care in good faith tomorrow unless I know someone will be there for you, alright?" She looked at Kyle steadily, waiting for his nod of acknowledgement before speaking.

"Great! Breakfast will be in soon. Please try to eat something, even if you're not particularly hungry. Since we took your IV out earlier, it's important that you eat and drink normally today. I also want to remind you that visiting hours start soon. I'm sure your friends are anxious to see you, but please make sure they don't stay too long, you still need to keep resting throughout the day if you want to go home tomorrow." She paused and then added "Speaking of resting, since you're feeling better I can't justify telling the nurses that you have my permission for Mr Levitt lie in bed with you today. I'm sorry about that, but it is hospital policy." She then winked at them and dropped her voice to a whisper. "However, I happen to know that most of the nurses think the two of you are adorable together. So, they aren't all that likely to enforce the policy and you might want to take advantage of that. Just don't tell anyone I told you to do so. Well, I'd best be off, I have other patients to see this morning." Speech completed, Dr Marshall slipped out the door with a smile.

Relieved with her positive report on Kyle's progress, Marie and Chris soon followed, intending to rustle up some breakfast and to give Tom and Kyle a few moments alone. As soon as they had left, Kyle turned to Tom with mirth-brightened eyes and a questioning smile. "Adorable? How did that happen? What did we do?"

"Hmm" Tom returned cheekily "It might have had something to do with us sleeping tightly cocooned together." He tilted his head, twitching his mouth in a one sided smirk as he stretched out the words. "Or the kissing, it could have been the kissing." Tom leant forward to kiss Kyle's nose, chuckling as he scrunched up his nose and rolled his eyes in response. Tom added "Of course, it might just be because you're just. So. Damn. Adorable," punctuating every word with a swift kiss to Kyle's lips.

Kyle bit his bottom lip, gazing down at the sheets as he blushed slightly. As his eyes slid back to Tom's, his lips swept up into an uncontrolled grin and Kyle returned "Or, maybe it's because you're Tom Levitt, Broadway musical composer extraordinaire!" Kyle swept his hands wildly through the air as he spoke, undeterred that his cast restricted the motion.

He received an eyeroll and a peal of laughter from Tom in reply. "That's how it's going to be, is it? Nice stylistic choice. The vibrant blue cast really adds something." Tom choked out, still laughing as he grabbed Kyle's unbroken hand from mid-air and brought it to his lips.

As he kissed Kyle's knuckles, Tom's face smoothed from laughter into warm affection. He smiled a little mistily at Kyle before speaking "I love you like this, all laughter and bright-eyed jokes. Yesterday you were in so much pain and it hurt to see you like that."

Kyle reached up to place their joined hands on Tom's cheek, twisting them so his palm lay under Tom's and their fingers tucked together. He watched intently as Tom exhaled, closing his eyes and gravitating closer before Kyle spoke, voice calm and gentle, "Tom, I don't remember much from the last few days, most of it is a blur. But I remember you. I remember you holding me, helping me through the pain. I think I actually begged you to hold me at one point?" Kyle's cheeks reddened slightly as his voice lifted in question.

Tom quietly answered "Mmmhmm, you did. You were distressed and the doctor didn't want to give you any more drugs because it was too risky. You refused the drugs and asked me to hold you." Tom pressed into Kyle's hand where it lay on his cheek and lifted his free hand to return the gesture, smoothing over the younger man's cheek. "I wanted to make everything better and I couldn't. All I could do was hold you. You told me that I made everything better and I loved that you felt like that. I was so happy that you were going to be fine, that you were alive and warm and wrapped up in my arms." Voice wrenched with sadness and tears welling in his eyes, Tom continued, "We thought you were dead, you know. I thought you were dead. For an entire day. So seeing you laughing up at me, light dancing in your eyes... it's amazing."

Kyle gasped, eyes widening in horror as he exclained "What? Dead? Oh God Tom, I'm sorry."

Tom interrupted gently "Hey, it's not your fault." He added wryly "How could it be your fault? You were unconscious. There was a hospital error, they accidently switched the records of you and another man. He died while being treated under your name, so you were listed as dead. I'd left you a few messages because we were supposed to meet up that night, do you remember?" Still shocked that he'd apparently been reported dead, Kyle simply nodded jerkily as Tom spoke, muttering his first sentence "Remind me to delete those messages later. Anyway, the police called me back to tell me that you were dead. It wasn't until your parents got here and sorted everything out that I found out you were alive." Tom smiled sadly, memories echoing in his eyes as he tipped Kyle's face up for a quick kiss. "We dimmed the lights of Broadway for you. We couldn't get everyone to do it, as you know that's reserved for Broadway veterans, but the Lily Hayes dimmed for you."

A little awestruck, Kyle breathed out "Really? I always loved that tradition." Tom continued softly, "I know. You told Julia and we wanted you to have that tribute. It's a lovely tradition. But Kyle, please be careful from now on." He fixed Kyle with an intent stare, speaking gently and seriously, "No more stepping out into traffic without checking it's safe, even if you have the right of way. I need you to do that for me, to try to make sure it's at least another 60 years before Broadway's lights are dimmed for you again." Tom inhaled audibly, emotion swirling through his eyes as he gazed deeply into Kyle's, thumb rubbing over his lover's cheekbone. "Because I don't think my heart could take that again, saying goodbye to you. I care about you so much and losing you..." His breath hitched and his words petered out briefly before he quietly declared "Losing you broke my heart."

Kyle quietly breathed out "Tom," expression dazed as he searched for the right words, any words, to respond. "Tom, I... " Heavy lidded, his eyes dropped to stare at Tom's lips. Mind still blank, he gave up trying to reply vocally and surged forward to crush their lips together instead. Kyle clutched Tom's face and kissed him desperately, lips rubbing and tongues sliding wildly together as Tom kissed back with equal fervour. Raw emotion careened through Kyle's body and he gasped into the kiss at the intensity. He pulled back as quickly as he'd moved forward, lips clinging together for a long moment before he rested their foreheads together. Kyle's mind reeled as he kept his eyes tightly closed and listened to his heart-rate monitor beeping loudly over the noise of his blood rushing through his veins. What he felt for Tom was so incredibly intense it felt like a tidal wade of emotion crashing through every pore of his body. Hearing Tom describe losing him, hearing him ask for 60 years sent shockwaves lancing through his heart. If Tom felt the same way, then maybe they could have something, maybe they could be something. Maybe there was a one, just one special person after all.

Before Kyle could unravel his jumbled thoughts, Tom sighed and pulled back, saying softly "Kyle, we need to talk about this, about what we are and what we want us to be. But, I promised you this morning that I would wait to have this discussion until you were well enough. And I keep my promises. Besides," he paused as his lips twitched upwards, "I can hear how fast your heart is going right now and I'm supposed to be helping you stay calm. Doctor's orders. So, I think I'd better go call Julia and tell her that you're well enough for visitors today."

As Kyle opened his mouth to protest, he felt the older man's hand caress gently down his face, moving his thumb to rest over Kyle's parted lips and hushing him. "Kyle, hey, you just found out that everyone you know thought you were dead. That has to have unsettled you. And even though you put on a brave face, I could tell that walking around hurt you. You're exhausted and now's not the time for this discussion. I'll wait. Whatever you decide, I want you to be sure." As Tom finished talking, Marie and Chris stepped back into the room, carrying an extra coffee for him. Tom's lips twitched up again as he murmured, "Anyway, your parents are back and I'd prefer not to have an audience for this particular discussion. Especially not one made up of your parents. Sweetheart, we can talk about us later. We have all the time in the world." Slipping his hand back up to cup Kyle's cheek, Tom pressed a final soft kiss to his lips before standing and accepting his coffee with a smile and a word of gratitude. Sipping contentedly, he headed toward the hospital phone. It was time to invite some visitors.


	9. Visitors and breakdowns

"Tom, hi!" Julia exclaimed as she answered her phone. "I was hoping I'd hear from you this morning. How is our favourite invalided book writer doing today?"

Tom chuckled and answered, "He's doing well, he's still pretty tired and sore but the doctor says he'll be able to go home tomorrow."

Smiling in relief, Julia said "That's great, Tom. Do you think he'll be up for visitors today? I'd really like to see him."

"As long as they don't stay too long, yes. But, maybe we could keep it to close friends, not the entire company?" Tom replied, grimacing a little at the thought of a few dozen people crushing into Kyle's room.

"Sure, I'll let everyone know that he's doing well but still needs plenty of rest. I actually got everyone to sign one of those massive get well cards yesterday, so I'll bring that along and everyone will at least feel they like they got to say hi."

Smiling at her thoughtfulness, Tom hummed "Mmm, that's a great idea. Thanks, Julia. By the way, do you know what's happened to Jimmy? Kyle's parents left him a message but we haven't seen or heard from him. Do you know if he's okay? He was taking Kyle's death pretty hard when I last saw him."

Julia sighed, replying "He's fine. Apparently he threw his phone against a wall in a fit of rage after the tribute performance, so he wouldn't have received any messages. I told him yesterday after you called me. I was working down at Hit List so I took him into Scott's office and sat him down to tell him. It was awful Tom, he was crying and saying all these things about it being his fault and how horrible a friend he was, out getting high while Kyle got hit by a car. I felt sorry for the poor kid. Apparently they had some huge argument and Kyle kicked him out that night?"

Tom turned to face Kyle, eyebrows moving up his forehead in surprise "I heard about the argument in the bar but I didn't know that Kyle kicked Jimmy out."

Tom heard a gasp of surprise from the bed behind him and he covered the phone to comment quickly "Broadway gossip mill," waving his hand in explanation. Uncovering the mouthpiece, he prompted Julia with "So, Jimmy?"

"Yes, I managed to convince him not to go to the hospital yesterday. I told him that he wouldn't be allowed through hospital security, that Kyle was in and out of consciousness and that therefore the best thing he could do for his friend at that moment was to let him rest. I think it only worked because I added that you thought he'd be up for visitors today. He's still pretty upset Tom, I was thinking of driving him over myself as soon as visiting hours start. I don't want him driving himself if he's not focused on the road. One car accident is more than enough for this week," she said in a strained voice.

Tom responded "Okay, that sounds like a good idea. Thanks Julia, we'll see you soon then. Oh, would you please pass onto Linda that I won't be in Bombshell rehearsal today? Thanks."

As Tom finished chatting to Julia and hung up the phone, Marie and Chris walked over to Kyle. Still looking a little shell-shocked, Kyle stared at them, stuttering out "Mom and Dad, Tom said something when you went to get breakfast. He told me that I was reported dead. I'm so sorry. I know it wasn't my fault, but I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Tears clinging to her eyelashes, Marie responded "Honey, we're just happy that you're alright. I love you and I'm so proud of you."

Gripping onto Kyle shoulder as he teared up as well, Chris declared "Kyle, we both love you so much."

Marie added "So, it's okay Kyle. But yes, for awhile there we thought we'd lost you. Everyone thought they'd lost you, Tom too." She paused for a long moment, fixing Kyle with an intent stare. "You have some explaining to do there, honey. Kyle, you didn't say anything about Tom to your Dad or I. Yet, it's clear the two of you are pretty serious, even if Tom said that nothing was official. He was devastated when he ran in here yesterday. For now though, you're off the hook, you look pretty tired and that little chat can wait." She patted his cheek and said teasingly "It certainly doesn't seem like Tom will be going anywhere any time soon, does it honey?"

Kyle exclaimed "Mom! We haven't even talked about us yet! He can hear you! Wait, oh my God, you talked to him about me first?" Marie grinned at his emerging blush.

From the corner, Tom chuckled to himself at the comment and the thought that he must have it bad to find Kyle's embarrassment so damn cute! Glancing over to Tom as his laugh confirmed Kyle's words, Marie's grin widened before she continued brightly "Oops! Don't worry honey. I don't think he minded." She patted his reddened cheek again, eliciting a groan. "Sorry honey. You were asleep and we were curious. New topic then, why don't you have a quick nap? You look exhausted and the doctor said you'd still need lots of rest today. I know that Tom invited some of your friends over but visiting hours don't start for about half an hour so you have time for a rest first."

Kyle reflected "Yeah, that's probably a good idea Mom." Everyone sat quietly to let him rest, Tom returning to Kyle's bedside and absorbing the silence until the nurse bustled in with Kyle's breakfast a few minutes later. Groaning, Kyle said, "Or, I could have breakfast. Doctor's orders." Looking down at the unappetising meal he joked "It's probably a good thing I'm not hungry" before tucking in anyway, remembering what Dr Marshall had said. He had just managed to choke down most of his food and was waiting for the tray for to be cleared when he heard footsteps clamouring down the hallway. Looking up, he saw Jimmy come charging into the room, rushing toward the bed. Kyle braced himself for the rough hug he knew was coming, squeezing his eyes tightly shut.

Tom glanced rapidly between them and then lunged up to block Jimmy, grabbing his shoulders to bring him to a standstill, calling "Jimmy, no!" as he did so.

Blinking in surprise as anger crashed over him, swamping all other emotion, Jimmy yelled "What the hell, man?" and shook off Tom's arms. "Get off me! He's my best friend! I don't even know why you're here. You don't get to control what he does just because you're screwing him!" He finished with an ugly glare at Tom, speaking over Kyle's exasperated "Jimmy! He was just protecting me!"

Tom took a deep breath to dispel his anger and responded calmly "Jimmy, Kyle has several cracked ribs and a lot of stitches. You were about to grab him roughly. I know that you're just upset and were so relieved that he was okay that you wanted to hug him tightly. I know that you weren't thinking. I understand that and I also know he's your best friend. However, I wasn't going to stand there and let you hurt him. We're not just screwing, as you so charmingly put it. I care about him. If you'd hugged him like that it would have caused him a lot of pain, at the very least. It could have even ripped his stitches or further damaged his broken ribs. I could see him trying to brace himself for the pain of the impact." He shook his head before continuing, "Now, if you're finished with ridiculous accusations, I'm sure you'd like to talk to him." After nodding sharply at Jimmy's grumbled apology, Tom focused back on Kyle and spoke quietly. "Would you like us to stay or to give you some privacy and go grab another coffee while you chat?"

Kyle smiled up at him and said "Go get another coffee, please. Thanks Tom. We'll be fine here."

As his parents and Tom headed through the door, Kyle heard muffled greetings and heels clicking down the hall. He glanced up to wave at Julia when she popped her head in the door, smiling widely. "Kyle, hey! Oh, it's so good to see you looking well." Dashing her hands beneath her eyes as a few tears leaked out, she continued softly, "Ah, I can see you're busy so I'll leave you and Jimmy to talk and go have coffee with Tom. I just wanted to quickly say hi." With a final smile and wave, she stepped back and Kyle moved to face his frozen best friend, still standing still where Tom had stopped him.

Kyle watched the remnants of Jimmy's anger leech away and saw the moment he started to shake as despair mingled with relief surged back through him. Reaching out his hand, Kyle rested it on Jimmy's arm as he said softly "Jimmy, I'm fine. I didn't die in that car accident. I'm okay."

Jimmy closed his eyes and grabbed onto Kyle's hand with both of his own. He collapsed into the chair by the bedside and broke down, tremors wracking through him as he sobbed out "I'm so sorry, Kyle. You were just gone, there was no warning, and there was so much left that I meant to say. I never told you that you were my brother in all but blood. I never said that I loved you." Pausing to catch his breath for a minute, he added "At least, not since we were kids. I should have done that. I was an idiot and I took you for granted and I'm sorry." Leaning forward, he dropped his head onto Kyle's shoulder, being careful not to apply too much pressure. Burying his face in Kyle's neck, he then mumbled pleadingly "I'm so sorry. I know I was a jerk and screwed everything up and you kicked me out, but please don't leave me. You're all I have. Stay, please. I'll do better this time, sort my life out. I promise. I love you."

Squeezing his hands tightly, a little misty-eyed himself, Kyle said gently "I love you too, Jimmy. Not romantically, like you've apparently decided to tell everyone, but like a brother. It's why I've stayed all this time and tried to help you. I'm glad that you want to get better, to sort your life out. I want that too. I want my best friend back, the guy who thought before he acted, whom I could talk to about anything and trust to be there for me no matter what. Jimmy, I'm sorry too, sorry that you thought I'd died and sorry I can't seem to fix you. I had a bit of time to think earlier and obviously, nearly dying throws life sharply into perspective. Jimmy, I'm upset but I can forgive you for a few hurtful comments you made when you were high. That's easy enough because I love you. But..." Sighing deeply, Kyle continued, expression determined but his voice still soft "I can forgive you, but I can't forget and I can't keep going on like this. It isn't good for either of us and I'm tired. We keep doing the same things over and over again and nothing ever changes. I can't just accept your word that you're going to change this time. I need you to prove it to me. Jimmy," He paused as a few tears pooled in the corners of his eyes and ran down his cheeks, "What your father and brother did was awful, but you're not that scared kid any more. You have to stop letting them control your actions and ruin your life. I've tried everything but it's not enough, I can't fix you. You have to figure out how to help yourself."

Feeling Jimmy's tears still trickling down the side of his neck, Kyle felt his heart clench tightly as he exhaled and said "Your music is still astounding Jimmy, incredibly beautiful. That hasn't changed. And under the abuse and the drugs and the walls you've put up against the world, I know that you haven't changed either, not in the ways that matter. You can find yourself again, piece yourself back together and be a better man for it." Kyle brought his other hand, the one mostly immobilised in a cast and softly rubbed the back of his knuckles over his lifelong best friend's trembling head. Receiving no response beyond more tears, he returned his arm to the bed and continued "Jimmy, I know that you've always refused before, but maybe you could see someone about this. A professional, someone trained to know how to how to help you. I can go too, if you'd like, ask them what I should do to support you while you try to get you life back on the rails. It has to be your choice, but I really think it would help you. I'm not going to abandon you, but things have to change. We can't go on like this forever. I think you know that too if you're really ready to try and do better."

Jimmy nodded against his neck and mumbled "Okay."

Kyle pulled back a little to smile at him, detaching their hands and rubbing away Jimmy's tears like he had when they were only five years old. He said gently "Okay, then. Good." Kyle let a few more tears of his own out, heart wrenching for his desperately broken best friend as he breathed out "I'm so glad that you're willing to see someone this time. Because I'm all out of ideas. Thank you, Jimmy. We'll find someone good." Letting out a soft puff of laughter he nudged Jimmy affectionately and remarked "There must be plenty of good psychiatrists in New York, hey?" Kyle was pleased to receive a weak smile in return. He was content to leave their conversation on that note for now and simply sit quietly together. They'd covered the most important points and he was relieved at the thought that Jimmy has finally agreed to see a professional. They had a long way to go, but with that promise he felt more hopeful about his best friend's future than he had for a long time.


	10. Partnership conversations

Tom considered Jimmy and Kyle and their friendship as he strode toward the hospital café with Julia in tow. Marie and Chris had decided to take the opportunity to head back to their hotel and freshen up, so only Julia remained with him. As they walked her heels clicked rhythmically against the polished hospital hallway, providing a soundtrack for his jumbled thoughts. With a deep frown, Tom worried about whether he had done the right thing by leaving Jimmy alone with Kyle when Kyle was badly injured, even though Kyle had requested it. He knew that Kyle would be physically fine since Jimmy had realised that he had to be careful, but Tom was still concerned about Kyle's emotional state after what was bound to be a difficult and distressing conversation. Jimmy was a troubled young man, filled with both incredible talent and traumatised anger that spilled out of him at the slightest provocation, as it had only a few minutes earlier against Tom himself. During their first night together Kyle had talked a little about Jimmy's history, explaining why he'd been kicked out of the party after the fight with his brother. Tom knew that Jimmy had been abused, become hooked on drugs and faced the world through barriers to protect himself, lashing out as a defense mechanism. However, Tom felt it wasn't fair for Kyle to have to clean up after Jimmy all the time, to take of him and hold their friendship together all by himself. Tom knew it was just the kind of man Kyle was, generous and incredibly loyal to a lifelong friend falling to pieces in front of him. He loved that Kyle was so kind, generous, loyal and loving. He just wished that it didn't open Kyle up to so much pain if someone took advantage of that sweet nature, not returning Kyle's kindness and love as generously as it was given.

It was only his feelings for Kyle that had let him ignore Jimmy's harsh accusations that he was just using Kyle for sex, that he wanted to control him instead of care for him. He had still been offended and upset that someone thought he would do that, even though he knew it was utterly false. With a sigh, Tom supposed that Jimmy was just lashing out in anger, probably not even thinking about what he was saying. He was just trying to hurt the person who had got in his way, preventing him from getting to Kyle. Even the limited interaction he had seen between the two of them demonstrated how dependent Jimmy was on Kyle. Tom had no intention of trying to control Kyle but Jimmy wouldn't know that. He hadn't seen them together and he probably wouldn't know much about their relationship or its intensity. He wouldn't know how deeply Tom cared or how right and natural being with Kyle felt. Jimmy obviously knew that they were sleeping together and that Kyle had a boyfriend, but he might not know anything else. From that information, he probably assumed Tom wasn't very important to Kyle, just a brief fling. Given the age difference and Tom's success in the industry, Jimmy might even think he was taking advantage of a young, star-struck Kyle. He wouldn't understand why Tom had been at the hospital, or at Kyle's bedside. Oh hell, Jimmy might even think that Tom was trying to take Kyle away from him. Tom would never do that, but Jimmy probably expected the worst in everyone because of his traumatic past.

Tom knew how difficult it must have been for Kyle to kick out his best friend, how upset he must have been. Clearly he'd been upset enough not to pay attention when crossing the street. Tom sighed again, concern eddying in his eyes. Well, he couldn't control what happened in their discussion, but he could be there for Kyle to support him regardless. Kyle had spent so long having to be the strong one in his friendship with Jimmy, holding them together and picking up the pieces. Tom felt that Kyle needed to be taken care of awhile, to realise it was okay to lean on someone for a change. Tom wanted to do that for him, to be there and help him recover.

Tom looked up suddenly, breaking out of his thoughts at the sudden absence of Julia's shoes tapping out a constant pattern. They had reached the café and she was reaching out to pat him on the arm in concern, asking "Is everything alright in there Tom? I thought you'd be happy Kyle is doing better but you seem to be sighing a lot instead."

As they sat down and ordered, Tom sighed again, adding a little grin as he said her name. "Oh, Julia. I'm fine. I am happy that he's feeling better, so happy, but I'm still worried about him."

Grinning back at him, Julia said softly "He looks good. A little the worse for wear, but okay. I'm so pleased to him doing well. He'll be back to his old energetic self in no time, I'm sure."

"Yeah, he will." Tom responded quietly.

Raising her eyebrows inquisitively, Julia teased "So, I believe I told you yesterday that you'd forgotten to tell me something important. Kyle's pretty cute, hey? He's sweet. Kind. Talented too, he comes up with the most fantastic ideas and all his writing needs is a little practice and guidance. He has great things ahead of him, mark my words. Plus, he's funny, which is definitely a bonus." She grinned before looking at Tom intensely. "Seriously Tom, you and Kyle. How did that happen?"

Expression softening into an enchanted smile, Tom said "Yeah, he's all of those things. He's wonderful. I don't really know how it happened but I'm so glad it did. He was there at Bombshell opening night, we uh, well, we were both a little drunk and upset and we went back to my place. And it was astounding. Not just the sex, though that was incredible." He closed his eyelids briefly in remembrance, eyes flickering rapidly as images danced across his retinas. "There was so much more than that, spending time with him, talking to him, feeling his heart beat next to mine. We talked for hours that night, about everything, Bombshell, you and me and our writing partnership, about him and Jimmy. We kept talking about life until we fell asleep in each other's arms. It was so intense yet it felt so natural, being close with him like that. It's never felt so right with anyone before. Even waking up with him the next morning didn't feel terribly weird and embarrassing like I'd expected. It felt strangely normal despite our mild hangovers. There were lazy kisses and a shared breakfast before we headed out to our respective rehearsals. At first I thought I must have been imagining the chemistry and the connection, that it must have been the alcohol and the rollercoaster of an evening I'd had." Tom shrugged slightly, still smiling softly, his eyes crinkling lightly at the edges as affection radiated out from them. "We couldn't stay away from one another and he stayed over a couple more times. When it was still so amazing, when I got to know him better and he was so wonderful, I knew. I just knew there was so much more between us than simple physical attraction." He paused to frown lightly, crossing his arms. "Unfortunately I also knew that he had a boyfriend and I felt so guilty about that. That's why I didn't say anything to you, well, that and we were fighting. And, of course, Kyle and I hadn't actually talked about what we were either." He tilted his head in resignation. "Even though I felt awful about Blake, I couldn't bring myself to let Kyle go, you know?"

Julia cleared her throat, gazing down at her tea in embarrassment. "Yeah. I know what that's like, to feel guilty about being with someone but not wanting to let them go." She shrugged, adding "Michael. But we weren't talking about me. It sounds like you and Kyle have a real connection, not just a brief flash of heat. So, I'm not surprised you couldn't let him go, even if the timing wasn't perfect."

Grimacing, Tom said "Sorry Julia. I didn't mean to bring up Michael. You're right, Kyle and I are not just a flare of passion, he's so much more than that. As I said, I've never felt like this about anyone." Taking a deep breath he rambled swiftly on with a slightly crazed expression. "He makes my head spin and my stomach tie up in knots and I can't stop thinking about him every minute of the day. I dream about him too, all the time. It's like my brain is living in this infinite Kyle Bishop loop, the way everything always circles back to him." Laughing, he added with deep emotion whirling through his eyes, "I'm so crazy about him that everything feels brand new and I feel like a teenager. And that was before his accident. Thinking I'd lost him, it made me realise exactly how much I cared about him. When I thought I'd never see him again it felt like someone had ripped out my heart and torn it into shreds." He dropped his head into his hands dejectedly. "God, I don't even know what we are."

Staring at him in shock, eyes wide, Julia said "Wow." Shaking her head in wonder, she then observed "I'd figured out that you were involved from what you said yesterday but I had no idea it was this serious. Tom, the way you talk about him, I've never heard you speak about a guy like that. Honey, you do realise that you're... "

Tom cut her off softly as affection poured out of his eyes. "That I'm in love with him? Yeah, I know. I've never been in love before, but there can't possibly be any other emotion that explains how intensely I feel about him. I am in love with Kyle Bishop, I'm certain of it." He chuckled lightly. "I've spent enough time writing songs about love to recognise the symptoms in myself. God, I hope he feels the same way. I want to have everything with him. I'm pretty sure he at least likes me because we keep kissing and he seems to feel comfortable with me but I don't know. We aren't officially together. I can't even just ask him about it because he's still injured and I don't want to rush him into anything. It doesn't help that I'm a mess right now too, between finding him, falling for him, losing him and finding him again. It doesn't quite feel real that he's alive yet, that I have the chance for a future with him if he'll have me. I have to keep reminding myself that he's fine, that I said goodbye but he's still here, alive and well." Tom finished with a tear slipping down his cheek as he smiled sadly.

Leaning over to place her hand over his on the table, a few tears joining his Julia uttered "My God, Tom, I'm so sorry. I didn't know what you were going through the other day when we thought he was dead. You were so nice when I snapped at you, telling me you were sorry for my loss because you knew that he and I were close. I had no idea that you and he were even closer. I thought you just knew him as friendly acquaintances. I know we were fighting but you're still my best friend and I should have been there for you. I'm sorry, Tom."

She stopped speaking as Tom smiled gently and replied "It's okay Julia." He shrugged and added, lips pursed to the side. "You didn't know."

He sighed again before Julia remarked kindly "Tom, I'm sure Kyle cares about you. I haven't actually seen you together but he's a wonderfully sweet guy and he wouldn't lead you on if he weren't interested. And remember when I told you that anyone in their right mind would want you? I know we were joking around but I was serious about the fact that you're a wonderful man too. You're caring, talented, kind, reliable, generous and I could go on. And Kyle's in his right mind, he's a well adjusted kid. Besides, why would the hospital and his parents let you stay if they hadn't seen something between you?" Shaking her head she completed the thought "They wouldn't."

Tom winced at her choice of words, requesting quietly "Julia, could you not call him a kid, please?"

Julia laughed brightly "A little sensitive about the age gap, are we Tom?"

Dropping his head onto the table with a dull thud, Tom grumbled "Yes. He's so sweet, gorgeous and talented that he could have anyone he wanted."

Julia hummed "Mmmhmm, including you apparently. Honey, I really don't think he'd lead you on if he weren't interested; he's far too nice to do that. Did you tell him you were interested in dating?"

Still mumbling into the table Tom replied "Yeah, this morning."

"And?" Julia prompted.

Tom took a deep breath and returned "He kissed me."

Trying to muffle a laugh with her hand, Julia observed "Honey, if he kissed you, I'm sure he likes you too. Tom, you won't know anything else until you've a better chance to talk to him, but I think you're going to be wonderful together."

Tom sat back up slowly, reclaiming his coffee from the edge of the table and taking a few deep gulps of the hot liquid and returned simply "Thanks, Julia." She smiled at him and spoke. "Now, enough worrying, I wanted to talk to you about something else anyway. About us, our partnership. When I thought Kyle died, I did some reflecting on us, on whether we were doing the right thing. And I think I came up with something. So, would you hear me out, please?"

Julia breathed in deeply and steeled herself for the upcoming conversation, taking in Tom's serious glance and beginning quietly. "So, I was thinking about Kyle's death, well reported death, you know what I mean. It was so sudden and so random that could have been any one of us. So, I thought to myself, what if it had been me? What would I change if I had the chance, what would I regret?" Julia asked rhetorically. "Tom, I would regret what happened with you, us arguing and splitting up the partnership. I know what you said the other day when we went to see our lawyers about having the paperwork drawn up to terminate the partnership. How it would be the best thing for both of us since we were just going in different directions right now." Waving her hands between them as she glanced at his frown, she remarked "You wanted to direct, I wanted to write Gatsby as a play, not a musical. You said that meant we should split up because we were holding one another back from what we really wanted to be doing. But Tom, when I thought about it, I realised that I'm not ready to split up our partnership yet. It's amazing, both personally and professionally, you're my best friend and I love you. I love working with you. And then something occurred to me. What if we didn't have to end the partnership to have the opportunity for both of us to do what we wanted?" She asked with a grin, excitement dashing across her face.

"Julia, we talked about this, you offered to wait for me and then you offered to work with me on whatever I chose and do Gatsby in your spare time. That's not the kind of equal partnership I want with you." Tom said, resigned frown on his despondent face.

"No, Tom, don't you see" she said, face bright as she spoke animatedly. "We don't have to split up to do what we both want. I want to write Gatsby. You want to direct. Why don't you direct Gatsby?"

Tom's eyes shot wide with shock as he exclaimed "Julia, Oh my God."

Holding her hand up, Julia interrupted him. "Hang on Tom. Let me finish. I know that you don't have any experience directing a play instead of a musical, but you did brilliantly on Bombshell, and that was your first try. There would be other advantages too. If we worked on this together, the fact that I'd have to run every little detail through you because of the legal rights wouldn't be a problem. I trust you. And even though it isn't a musical, Gatsby will still need a score. Music is far too emotive, far too powerful a form of expression for me to want a write a Gatsby play entirely without it. If you wrote that, I know it would be fantastic. You'd be the music director, I suppose, as well as the actual director. There's something else too. Since I still have to actually finish writing the play, you'd also have a bit of free time for a while. I'd talk to you about Gatsby, get your ideas but it wouldn't be a full time job. Now that Bombshell has opened, your work is basically complete, you'll be transitioning over to Linda and she'll manage the work and maintain its integrity. This situation with Kyle, I'm assuming it's going to take some time for him to heal. If we worked on Gatsby, you would have the time to look after him. I know you and I know that you're going to want to do that, to take care of him while he recovers. Don't you see Tom? We don't have to break up our partnership to have what we both want. We could still do Gatsby together, like we always dreamed of doing. I know it will be a bit different than we planned, but doesn't it still sound amazing? I felt so guilty about taking Gatsby away from you. We've talked about it so much over the years it felt wrong to do this without you. I want to share the amazing experience I'm having writing this play with my best friend." She finished with a loud exhale, staring at Tom pleadingly.

"Hang on Julia. What about Scott? I know you were planning to do this with him?" Tom asked as his mouth twisted into a hesitant frown. He didn't want to get his hopes up if Julia hadn't thought this through.

Pressing her lips together tightly, Julia returned swiftly "Scott and I broke up. He used my name and our relationship to take financial advantage of Kyle's death."

"He did what?" Tom cried out angrily, mouth dropping open and brows drawing tightly together.

Sighing Julia stated "We'd all decided to cancel Hit List's scheduled performance, as you know. Supposedly the ticket holders turned up anyway, right?" Tom nodded sharply. "Wrong. He told the manager to call the audience back, said that I'd convinced the creative team to go ahead with the tribute performance. Only I hadn't. He thought that this would be the best financial approach for the show, to capitalise on Kyle's death and he used me to do it. He lied to me. I can't be with someone who would do that so I dumped him." She shrugged sadly "I'm a little upset about that, but no I don't feel any obligation to do Gatsby with Scott. Tom, I really want to do this with you. It wouldn't be an end to our partnership. Just a bit of a change, an evolution. If we still want to go separate ways after Gatsby, fine we can do that." She nodded once decisively to emphasise her point. "We can reassess then. But, I'm not ready to split us up yet. I thought I was when you said that this was the only way, that doing what we both wanted and having our partnership were mutually exclusive. Now I don't believe they are. So..." Julia smiled at her musical partner a little uncertainly. "What do you think?"

Tom smiled back, happiness sparking in his eyes. "Julia, it's a wonderful idea. I'd love to direct Gatsby. I love you."

Voice lifting with excitement, Julia confirmed "So, that's a yes then?" and when Tom nodded, she jumped up and hugged him tightly, shedding a few tears into his shoulder.

After a few minutes, Tom gently wiped her cheeks and said quietly "I'm so happy that you thought of this. I really didn't want to break up our partnership either, but I didn't see an alternative. So, thank you. Would you please call the lawyers this afternoon and let them know we won't need to meet and sign that paperwork? Thanks Julia." After kissing her quickly on the cheek, he glanced at his watch with a frown before standing and picking up their takeaway cups. "Hmm, I think we should probably head back to Kyle's room, don't you think?" Tucking her arm through his in agreement, Julia smiled as they walked out of the café together, footsteps tapping away in tandem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hi everyone, you might have noticed the altered formatting of the dialogue. I was asked to change the layout so I hope you like the new version. I'm planning on going back and editing the previous chapters too. I also hope you enjoyed the extra long chapter today. I was sad posting this one as it's the first chapter I've uploaded after Smash is actually over... Goodbye Smash ~ Rose


	11. Best friends and Broadway success

Jimmy bolted upright, trying to hide the signs of his distress as Julia and Tom knocked and slipped back into Kyle's room arm in arm. Scrutinising the body language of the two men sitting in front of her, Julia said quietly "Hello, you two. Is everything okay in here?"

Glancing up at her with red-rimmed eyes, Kyle said, "We're fine, thanks Julia, just discussing the future. I think it will turn out to be pretty amazing."

Jimmy added shortly "Yeah, we're fine."

Smiling at both of them, Julia said "Great! As long as you're both fine I won't ask for the details. I guess it's time for a new topic then." Slipping her arm away from Tom's, Julia scrabbled in her handbag to whip a large blue card with "Get Well Soon" printed in block letters out. Holding it up in front of her as she spoke, she said "Kyle, honey, I have something here for you from the Manhattan Theatre Workshop. Everyone wanted to send their love and their best wishes for your health. You should know that you were sorely missed." Putting her hand over her heart, Julia declared as tears fell down her cheeks "Kyle, I was so, so very happy when Tom called me yesterday and told me you were alive and would make a full recovery. I missed you and you have so many wonderful things ahead of you." She walked over to the bed, resting the back of her hand on his forehead in the practiced motion of a parent. She then smiled gently, bending and kissing Kyle's cheek as he reached up for a one-armed hug.

Wiping away her tears, Julia opened the card and handed it to him for his perusal. Kyle's eyes flickered down each page, smiling to himself over each thoughtful and heartfelt message. It was great to hear from everyone, especially since he hadn't felt well enough to talk to them all in person. Kyle frowned as he noticed a persistent theme in several of the messages, lifting his eyes to ask the room "Why are there a few messages saying that they can't wait to start the new previews? Or for me to see the new stage and set? We already opened..." He trailed off in confusion. "Did something happen with Hit List?"

Realising that he had the been given the chance he had desperately wanted a few days ago to tell his best friend the good news about their show, Jimmy smiled widely. He then exclaimed "Jerry Rand is taking Hit List to Broadway, we did it! Our musical is going to be on Broadway, just like you always wanted!"

Kyle looked at him, completely astonished. He gasped "Oh my God" before happily repeating himself and exclaiming "Oh my God! Jimmy, that's amazing! I have so many ideas, now we can..."

Julia interrupted his excited rambling "Relax, Kyle. Deep breaths. Honey, these things take time. Right now, you need to focus your energy on getting better. You're still really pale. Jimmy, Derek and I will make sure Hit List is well taken care of in your absence. And Kyle, congratulations!" She beamed at his dazed expression and slowly widening smile.

Quickly thanking Julia, Kyle turned to look at Tom where he had stayed near the door to give Julia the opportunity to greet Kyle properly. Kyle beckoned him over as he said "Oh my God, Tom. I can't believe Hit List is going to Broadway!"

Tom grinned madly as his lover's excitement, kissing him firmly and saying warmly "Congratulations on your first Broadway musical, Kyle. You deserve it. I'm sure this will be only the first of many." Tom's heart was beating crazily, overflowing with love for the incredible man in front of him. Tom was so proud of him and so excited that Hit List was going to Broadway. It had occurred to Tom when Kyle had been reported dead that his lover would never know that he'd truly made it. If he had died that night, he would never have known the success of his work and never enjoyed watching it open on Broadway. He would have missed out on so much and Tom's heart had wrenched at that desolate knowledge. Now, Tom was just so deliriously happy that Kyle was alive to experience it all. Tom also felt incredibly privileged to have witnessed Kyle's exuberant reaction to the news.

"Thanks, Tom." Kyle pressed back into the mattress, adding "God, my head is spinning."

Julia softly interrupted "We should go and let you get some rest. We'll leave you in Tom's capable hands." Looking at her watch, Julia spoke quickly "Actually, Jimmy, we really do need to get going anyway. Everything has to be organised so it can moved over to the new theatre and Jerry wanted everyone there this morning so he can give a big speech. You need to be there to represent both you and Kyle and we need to leave right now to get there on time."

Jimmy said goodbye to Kyle, whispering that he loved him into his ear before headed toward the door. He stopped on the way to grab tightly onto Tom's shoulder and say in a low, threatening tone "You take care of him, do you hear me?"

Tom looked straight into Jimmy's eyes and declared quietly "I will. Jimmy, I promise you that Kyle is safe with me. I'll take care of him." He tilted his head, motioning toward the door. "You go take care of his show."

Kissing both Kyle and Tom on the cheek in farewell, Julia bustled Jimmy out of the room before spinning her head back to add "We'll be back this afternoon after rehearsal. I think we might have a few additions that want to say hi too. Bye!"

Waving as they left, Kyle beamed back up at Tom, still astonished that he had done it, succeeded in his musical making it to Broadway. Excitement frolicking through his entire body, Kyle cried out "Broadway, Tom! Broadway," shaking his head in shock before sliding his hand around the nape of Tom's neck and dragging him down to crash their lips together.

Nearly falling over at the unexpected tug, Tom quickly braced himself and kissed back enthusiastically for a moment before withdrawing with a light laugh to say "Woah, Kyle! Give me a minute to get my balance. I don't want to hurt you." Laughter dancing merrily through his eyes he broke into song, crooning "Slow down, you crazy child!" Kyle smiled in amusement and joy at the shared memory as Tom carefully climbed up onto the bed. He propped himself up on his side, resting his legs against Kyle's and ensuring that he didn't put any of his weight down onto his injured lover. Tom then commented "See? Much better" before lifting his hand to Kyle's cheek and tilting his head to capture Kyle's lips in a passionate kiss of celebration.

Groaning, Tom pulled away after a few minutes, stoking his hand up and down Kyle's chest in a featherlight caress and saying "We have to stop. I don't want to, I love kissing you, but I can hear how fast your heart is going and we're about to set off the alarm." He twisted his lips to one side in resignation and sighed. "Which would be bad. You need to stay calm."

Breathing heavily, Kyle asked teasingly "What if I don't want to stay calm?" He paused for effect, shooting Tom a molten glance and silently enjoying his stuttered attempt to reply with a grin. Kyle then sighed too, adding "I know, I know. You're right Tom. Can I get a rain check on the kissing then?" He frowned in confusion for a second before questioning "Wait, how did you even know the heart-rate monitor's alarm was about to go off? We were kissing and your eyes were closed!"

With upturned lips, Tom replied "Yes, you can have a rain check on the kissing. Anytime, just let me know. As for my eyes, yep, they were closed. But Kyle, I could still hear the beeps. I'm a composer, I've heard so many metronomes over the years that I didn't have to focus on the sound to know approximately how fast your heart was going. I didn't want to hurt you or get kicked out by the nurses, so once your heart started racing I pulled away." He grinned cheekily and murmured "It was definitely good for my ego to hear your heart respond like that when we kissed..."

Kyle interrupted with "Tom, hey, that's not fair! I want to hear how fast your heart is going too."

Tom slid his hand up from where it rested on Kyle's chest down to Kyle's right arm, caressing over his lover's fingers before lifting them to his lips. Brushing across the knuckles, Tom moved to place the hand palm first over his heart, murmuring "We can fix that. Now you have a touch-sensitive heart rate monitor."

Grinning at Tom's silliness, Kyle looked down at Tom's chest and focused on the regular beat under his hand. After a few seconds he raised his eyes to Tom's in wonder, breathing out "Tom, your heart's racing too."

Tom returned gently "So it is. It might have something to do with you being a gorgeous man in my arms who was kissing me as though his life depended on it. Or maybe not. You seem to have that affect on me by just being in the room." He brought his hand up to press to Kyle's cheek softly.

Kyle blushed and looked down in embarrassment, breaking eye contact as he remarked "Tom, I just got hit by a car. I'm pretty sure I'm far from gorgeous right now."

"Trust me, you are gorgeous." Leaning over to kiss Kyle's forehead, he added tenderly "Kyle, you are incredibly beautiful. Inside and out. Even when you're in the hospital." Tom smiled to himself as he heard Kyle heart rate accelerate again at the compliment and decided it might be wise to change the subject.

"So, before we got so pleasantly distracted, I wanted to ask if you were okay after your conversation with Jimmy. When Julia and I walked back in, you and Jimmy looked upset and it was obvious you'd been crying. Are you okay?" Shutting his eyes, Kyle winced and answered "I've been better. Jimmy and I had this incredibly draining emotional conversation and I'm so overwhelmed right now between that and Hit List's success. My brain keeps flipping back and forward between pure elation and grief shot through with hope."

"Do you want to talk about it? Tom asked gently.

Moving his fingers from Tom's chest, Kyle quietly linked their hands together and said "Yeah, I do. About Jimmy, I'm sorry about what he said to you earlier Tom. He shouldn't have accused you of that and I know it's not true."

Tilting his head and shrugging, Tom hummed "Mmm, he had some interesting comments to say about me and our relationship earlier. I won't pretend they didn't hurt me. But Kyle, you don't have to apologise for his behaviour, it's not your fault. I know you're probably used to chasing after him and apologising but you don't have to, not with me. He's responsible for his own actions."

Kyle sighed "You're right. I know that Jimmy's been a complete jerk to me recently, to everyone, actually, but somewhere under all that crap is still the guy who has been my best friend our whole lives. The guy who was always there for me when we were growing up."

Brows furrowed, Tom replied "Hey, Kyle, I'm sorry, I know he's your best friend. I've just seen how awfully he's treated you lately, how he has taken advantage of your kindness and loyalty and I know how much it upset you. You deserve better than that. However, I can also see flashes of a much stronger, more balanced friendship underneath that. So, I'm glad he knows that you're going to be fine, even if the two of you are having a fight right now and he really needs to grow up and get his life in order. He sung a heartbreakingly beautiful song for you, you know. The night you..." Tom halted, voice trembling "the night we thought you'd died, there was a performance of Hit List. Not the whole musical, but the songs, a tribute to you. He sung 'The Love I Meant to Say' for you and he clearly meant every word. Whatever else he is, he does love you."

Kyle sighed, nodding and uttering "I know he does, he just isn't very good at showing it. Or saying it, for that matter, though he did say it today. I don't know, I'm tired of constantly being the one who has to clean up after him, to patch everything up and hold us together. I've tried so hard to fix him, to help him get his life back on track but nothing I do seems to be enough. The night I was hit by that car, I just couldn't take it anymore so I kicked him out, one last effort to try and make him help himself for once." Kyle voiced raised in concert with his heart-rate monitor before he visibly deflated and finished "I just don't know what to do anymore. When I kicked him out I was starting to wonder if he even could be saved but then our conversation this morning..." he paused, shutting his eyes against the desperate hope burning in them. "I'm cautiously optimistic, more hopeful than I've been in years. He just broke down, telling me he was sorry, that he loved me and he'd do better. He's promised to change before so I know better than to take him at his word but when I said he had to prove it to me this time he agreed to try and to see a psychiatrist. I've done everything I can, but I'm not trained to know how to help him. He always refused before and I'm hopeful that we can find someone good and he can really recover this time."

Tom pressed his lips together in thought. "So he never actually dealt through his issues, just buried them? It's great he's willing to deal with them now. I've seen a few people sort through addiction issues and childhood traumas in this business and it can be done if he's ready and he has the proper support. Hey, Kyle, if you'd like, I can ask around for you, find someone who really knows what they're doing."

Squeezing his hand tightly, Kyle responded shakily "Yes, thank you Tom. That would be wonderful. I wouldn't know where to start and I know Jimmy. If he hates the psychiatrist or doesn't feel like he can trust them then he might be discouraged enough not to continue with his therapy. I want to capitalise on his good intentions right now while they're probably the strongest they're going to get. It really rattled him when he thought I'd died and I feel awful about that but maybe some good can come from it if it gives him the push he needs to get better. It's going to take time but I think he'll be okay if he can sort through why he acts as he does and get some help to stop using. He's a completely different man when he's not self-destructing and high on anything he can get his hands on."

Tom observed "I think he might already started on that himself, getting clean and sober. He wasn't drinking the night when we dimmed the Lily Hayes marquee. I actually saw him refuse a drink when Ana offered him one. I presume that's unusual for him?"

Looking at him with eyebrows raised in surprise, Kyle replied "Yeah, it is." Shaking his head, he continued "Very unusual. Thanks for letting me know Tom. Hopefully that's a sign of good things to come."

"You're welcome. I hope Jimmy can sort himself out too. His music is amazing, he's the real deal. He's far too talented and far too young to throw his life away. Kyle, please let me know if I can do anything else to help you or Jimmy. I know he's your best friend and you love him, so seeing him go through this hurts you deeply too. So, please remember that I'm here whenever you want to talk." He squeezed Kyle's hand firmly in affirmation of his promise. "I care about you and I want to help you, whatever you need, okay?

Kyle looked at Tom with tears in his eyes and murmured "Thank you, Tom. That means a lot. It's just been me fighting for him for so long and I think I really needed someone to worry about me for a change." With a watery smile, Kyle wiped away his tears, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath to compose himself. "Now, enough about me and my best friend. What happened with you and yours? I noticed that my parents must have gone somewhere so I presume you and Julia had a little time to talk. You seemed happier when you walked back in together."

"Yes, your parents went to the hotel to freshen up, I think they also wanted to make some calls to update your family and friends on how you're doing."

"Right, that makes sense. So you and Julia had coffee alone?" Kyle asked.

Tom demurred "Well, I had coffee. She had tea. But yes, we did chat."

"And?" Kyle prompted him expectantly. "What's the future of Houston and Levitt, my favourite musical writing team?"

Face breaking out into a huge grin, Tom answered "We're going to do Gatsby together."

Sliding his hand into Tom's hair, Kyle breathed out, "Oh Tom, that's wonderful. I know how much you wanted to work on Gatsby and how upset you were that you had to break up the partnership so that she could work on it by herself. I remember how upset you were that you were going to have to do that and that you were fighting about it. So, you're doing it as a musical then?"

Shaking his head Tom replied "Nope. I'm directing. So she can still do it as a play, which is what she really wanted, and I can focus on my directing, which is what I really wanted. I'll still get to compose for it too, Julia asked me to write the score. And we didn't even have to break up to do it, so it's the best of both worlds."

"I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to see it!" Kyle stopped talking suddenly as a wide yawn split over his happy grin. Sinking back into the mattress, he murmured "Sorry, I think the crazy morning has caught up with me all of a sudden. I need a nap."

Tom smiled at him tenderly, softly asking "Do you want me to stay?"

Eyelids fluttering as Kyle fought to keep them open, he mumbled "Yes. Stay. You're pretty comfy."

Tom grinned in warm amusement as his voice lilted over the words "Comfy, am I?" and he turned them slowly so Kyle lay on Tom's chest, ensconced in his arms as he had been the night before. Kyle muttered something indistinguishable against his chest as he nestled in close. Heart overflowing with affection, Tom brushed his hand gently over Kyle's cheek and down to stroke soothingly down Kyle's back as he tenderly whispered "Shhh, whatever it is you can tell me later. Go to sleep, sweetheart. I'll be right here when you wake up." Tom smiled softly as Kyle's breathing evened out in sleep, focusing his full attention on his lover's warm and content form circled in his arms. Tom lay quietly for a long moment, just breathing Kyle in before realising that he too was exhausted after the stressful events of last couple of days. With a final caress down his lover's back, Tom stilled his arms and settled down to join Kyle for a well-deserved rest.


	12. Recovery plans and new visitors

Marie and Chris walked quietly back into Kyle's room, wanting to make sure that they didn't disturb Kyle if he was asleep. It had taken longer than they had hoped to get back to the hospital by the time they'd called Kyle's friends and family back home, all of whom had wanted a full accounting of his situation. Marie and Chris appreciated everyone's affection for their son and their best wishes for his rapid recovery but it was nice to be back at his bedside.

As they stepped through the threshold their eyes turned to the bed where Tom and Kyle lay sound asleep, tranquilly wrapped up in one another. Marie shook her head, still feeling a few flickering embers of her earlier disconcertion at Kyle's serious involvement with Tom before she smiled cheerfully at the two of them. She quietly quipped "I have the impression we're going to be walking in on this a lot while Kyle recovers."

Chris chuckled quietly, adding "If what we've seen of Kyle's behaviour is anything to go by, I think we're going to be still seeing that in 20 years." He paused for a minute to take a deep breath. "Honey, I'm glad you're getting used to seeing them together, I know you weren't entirely comfortable earlier."

Marie tilted her head in agreement, observing softly "Tom is sweet with him and Kyle's happy when they're together. I like that."

Chris placed his hand gently at the base of her spine and bent to kiss her cheek before commenting "I like that too." They tread lightly over to sit at the side of the room, silently agreeing to continue to let Kyle rest for as long as he needed.

A couple of hours later, Tom woke up suddenly as Kyle shifted and then froze in his arms. He asked softly "Hey, what's wrong Kyle? Are you okay?" Marie and Chris quickly echoed his concerns as they sprang up from their seats.

Pain etched over his face, Kyle responded faintly with a clearly forced calmness "I'm fine. I think I'm just due for my next dose of pain killers."

Tom winced, empathetic pain etching across his face as he brought his hand up to stroke through his lover's hair and said "Oh Kyle, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?" He hit the nurse call button as he spoke and Nurse Olivia soon bustled in and headed over to them, checking on Kyle's vitals and asking if he was alright.

"I'm okay. I've been better. My pain killers have worn off." Kyle replied weakly.

"It's the same pain as before and nothing else is wrong? Yes? Good, I'll just check when you're due for your next dose then." She read over Kyle's chart and then glanced at her watch, calculating quickly. "Last dose, hmmm, okay, yes, that's fine, you can have them right now."

Tom tipped his down and closed his eyes with a brief exhale of relief, glad that Kyle wouldn't have to brave through the pain for long today. Tom murmured "Okay, sweetheart, here take these" as he helped to support Kyle to sit up and swallow the tiny white pills, quietly nodding to Olivia in gratitude as she slipped back out through the doorway. He then carefully lowered them back to the bed and resumed carding his fingers through Kyle's hair in comfort before asking again if there was anything he could do.

Kyle mumbled "Just keep doing that, please. Actually, talk to me about something. I could use a distraction until these start working."

Desperately wanting something lighthearted to discuss to take Kyle's mind off the pain, Tom decided on Bombshell. Trying to keep his tone calm and light despite his concern, Tom said "Ah, okay, how about the note you gave me about the "At Your Feet" number the other night. How I should change the melancholy chord at the end when Marilyn's mother leaves her behind."

Kyle whispered "I remember."

"I thought about what you said, that Marilyn would have wanted to remember things better than they actually were and I agreed with you that sometimes we all do that. So, I wanted to try it. You were right, it was a brilliant change and made the first act flow so much better. I convinced Linda and the actors to implement it even though we'd already opened; everyone was really happy with how it turned out." He looked up at Marie and Chris explaining "Linda is our stage manager." Focusing back on Kyle, Tom kissed the top of his head and continued with a slightly resigned grin "It was absolutely worth the extra hour I spent running the new number with our child Norma Jeane. She's a great actress, but obviously she's very green and I have to keep making sure she doesn't go off book again." He grinned brightly down at Kyle and joked "That old adage "Never work with children or animals," yeah, you might want to remember that when you're writing the book for your next musical." He paused to enjoy the faint smile Kyle gave at the jest before continuing "I'm just kidding, mostly anyway, it's wonderful to have her on board and Julia did a fantastic job writing Marilyn and her mother. All the same I think I'll take a little break from casting any children in my next couple of shows."

Kyle winced slightly "Yeah, I noticed your little Norma Jeane went off book in 'At Your Feet' at the invited dress rehearsal."

Tom grimaced "Oh God, please don't mention that night. Ivy, God, I was so mortified for her!" He covered his eyes with his hand for a moment and groaned. "Then there was the plane, the ridiculously long intermission and the smoke practically choking everyone in the orchestra or the front five rows. Norma Jeane going off book didn't help either. It was a disaster. Oh God, yep it's too soon for me to laugh about this."

Marie laughed lightly from her chair, jumping in to rescue Tom. "I think we'd better give Tom a break for a second, though it sounds like quite a story there. Okay Kyle, we need to talk about what the plan is for tomorrow. Dr Marshall said she wouldn't discharge you unless you were staying with someone reliable. We'd love for you to stay with us but you wouldn't be able to come back for checkups so that would be a problem. And, well, honey, Jimmy is your roommate. You're going to need someone to help out a lot until you're fully recovered. You know that we love him, but I just don't think he's the right person for that."

Kyle's eyebrows drew tightly together into a resigned frown as he observed sadly "Yeah, I know. He's my best friend, but his idea of helping out around the house is making coffee once a week."

Tom chimed in with a matching frown "So that isn't really an option then." Kyle simply shook his head once despondently in reply. Tilting the younger man's gently back so he could look intently into Kyle's eyes, Tom offered warmly "Kyle, why don't you stay with me? I know that the idea sounds slightly insane because we're brand new, but I just want to help you. The timing is good too; directing Gatsby is my next big project and it's going to be a few months by the time Julia finishes writing and we cast it. I can do the score composition from home and Julia can come over whenever she wants my input into the script itself. As for Bombshell, well, my job is basically done, though of course I'll keep an eye on how it is all running. So, I have plenty of free time at the moment and I'd love to have you stay with me." He quirked his lips to the right and forged ahead rapidly "I know that we haven't talked about us and this would effectively be moving in together for a month or more so yes, I know I sound a little crazy right now." Tom inhaled sharply, bringing his hand up to caress softly down the side of Kyle's face. "Listen, I don't want to pressure you. I'm sure we can sort something else out if you're not comfortable with this idea, Julia for example has a spare room and I know she cares about you. It's entirely up to you and if you say no, I'll understand."

Kyle pressed his cheek into Tom's palm, quietly observing "How I could say no to that, Tom? Yes, I'll stay with you; we can both be a little crazy together. Besides, your place is pretty great." They gazed at each other in silent harmony for a long moment that was broken only when Chris stepped forward and started speaking.

"Excellent! It sounds like the arrangements are all settled then. Marie and I will also be around for about the next week or so until Kyle is doing better." Chris' eyebrows drew together into a small frown. "Then we'll both have to go back to work."

Tom looked up to Chris and promised "You're welcome to come by anytime while you're here. I'll give you my address and other contact details." He paused, frowning in thought for a minute before conferring with Kyle in an exchange of rapid whispers. "Actually, Marie, Chris, what are your plans exactly? I'm sure you weren't planning on staying long when you flew up here so do you have a hotel room organised?"

"Well, no. We obviously weren't planning on staying for an extended visit so we're only booked until tomorrow," Marie explained.

Tom nodded at the response he'd expected and invited "Well, you're welcome to stay at my apartment too. I'm sure that you'd prefer to be close to Kyle. I don't have a spare room as such, but my office has a double sofa bed that Julia swears is very comfortable. She stayed with me for a few weeks while she was looking for a new place last month."

With a small frown of consternation, Marie commented "Tom, you don't have to do that."

"Marie, it's fine. I want to. I'd feel terrible about making you stay half way across town in a hotel room when you could easily stay at my place and be there for Kyle. Listen, you're Kyle's parents and it's blindingly obvious you have a fantastic relationship with him. So, as long as it won't make you feel uncomfortable please come stay with us."

Marie looked to Chris and they had a brief but animated silent conversation before stating "We'd love to stay with you and Kyle provided he's happy to have us there too."

Kyle interrupted "I am. Tom checked with me before he offered."

Marie remarked "Ah, that's what you were whispering about a moment ago. I'd wondered. Then yes, we accept. Thank you, Tom."

Tom responded simply "You're welcome."

Marie smiled back at him; she was delighted at the demonstration that Tom valued Kyle's opinion and was making a concerted effort to include the people important to Kyle. She'd liked Tom's protectiveness with the situation with Jimmy earlier, as well as the fact that Tom had then left the decision up of whether to stay or go up to Kyle. Just now, he'd again taken Kyle's opinion into account instead of just deciding for him. That had been one of her greatest concerns about the age gap. She'd been worried that Tom, being the older of the two, might assume he knew what was best for Kyle instead of considering Kyle's mind and his choices to be as intelligent and valuable as Tom's own. For her that was one of the most important things in a relationship, trusting the other person to know their own mind and respecting their opinions and decisions even when you didn't agree with them. A little overwhelmed with a rush of maternal affection she bent down to kiss them both on the cheek, smiling at their shared glance of mild confusion at the sudden action. She then straightened, moving away from the bed and onto the rest of the news she had for Kyle. "So, Chris and I promised everyone back home that we'd pass on their love and best wishes for your recovery." Marie wiggled her eyebrows at him teasingly, adding "Also, your Grandma wants us to send her a picture of you and your new beau."

Kyle gave out a tiny chuckle and then replied in a soft, still somewhat strained tone. "Please tell her I said hi and that I'll give her a call later in the week."

"Okay, will do. She also wanted to let you that she's incredibly proud of you and is so excited to see Hit List! She wants to come watch it with you on Broadway opening night."

Kyle smiled softly "It will be wonderful to see her. I'll make sure she gets a ticket."

Marie grinned brightly at Kyle, pride over his success shining out of her eyes. "With everything that's happened over the past few days, we hadn't heard Hit List was moving to Broadway. Your grandmother was absolutely delighted to fill us in. Apparently Jerry Rand sent out a brief press release yesterday and she found it. Congratulations Kyle, we are so proud of you!" She chorused, Chris cheerily adding his own congratulations. Marie then continued "We were proud over Hit List opening downtown but Broadway, this really is your moment. Congratulations, honey!" With a final proud smile at her son, Marie turned to look at the other man lying on the starched hospital sheets with him. "Now, Tom, she also had a question for you."

Tom shifted his eyes away from their scrutiny of Kyle's face; he had been trying to read how much pain his lover was still in. Glancing up to Marie, he prompted her with "Yes?"

"You see, she'd like to see Bombshell too while she's here. She thought Ivy was wonderful when she saw Liaisons earlier this year even though she didn't think the show was particularly great overall. She said she's sure the understudy is wonderful too but she'd love to see Ivy perform again, so to please ask if you knew in advance of any dates Ivy would be absent before she goes ahead and books the tickets."

Tom smiled at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he commented "I don't know of any scheduled breaks that Ivy is taking around that time but tell her not to worry about booking tickets. I'd be happy to organise tickets for her or for all of you, just let me know the dates."

Tom smiled warmly down at Kyle in his arms "So, your Grandma likes musicals. Is she by any chance the reason you love Broadway?"

Kyle nodded, his cheek sliding across Tom's chest and remarked "Yeah she is; she introduced me to Broadway. She used to babysit me after school and we'd watch musicals together. I figured out pretty quickly that I loved Broadway and that was that."

Deep affection swirling in his eyes, Tom envisioned a miniature version of Kyle spinning with irrepressible energy around his grandmother as he dreamed of Broadway. Mid spin the image transmuted into the same little girl he'd imagined yesterday, an adult Kyle twirling her around as their matching grins danced across the sunlit room. Tom's arms tightened around his lover as he daydreamed of the future they could have together. He was soon pulled out of his reverie as he realised that Kyle had been slowly relaxing into him over the past few minutes. Tom had felt Kyle's muscles gradually unclenching as the drugs cascaded through him and the pain ebbed away. Brushing his hand over Kyle's forehead and caressing down to sweep repeatedly over his cheekbone, Tom enquired softly "Hey, how are you doing down there? Feeling better?"

Letting out a relieved sigh and closing his eyes, Kyle responded. "Much better, thank you."

Tom only had time to reply "I'm glad" before he heard an influx of voices and footsteps seep through the corridor. Glancing up, he saw Julia stride through the doorway, followed swiftly by a small group comprised of Jimmy, Ana, Blake and Karen.

Julia gasped and froze just inside the door, tears springing to her eyes and her hand lifting to cover her mouth at the sight of Tom and Kyle entwined together. She was so happy for Tom. He had so much to offer someone special and she'd been worried over the years when his relationships kept crashing and burning that he wouldn't have that chance. He needed someone as sweet, caring and smart as Kyle in his life. She grinned privately behind her hand, thinking that at least she'd been right when she'd told Tom that Kyle must be interested if he'd kissed Tom. Looking at the two of them together she was now sure that Tom had nothing to worry about regarding Kyle's feelings. She was just so happy for both of them. It had been a crazy few days and Julia still felt terrible that she hadn't been there for Tom when he'd desperately needed a friend to lean on. Nodding once decisively to herself, she promised herself that she'd be there for him in the future. And if she and Tom ended up going their separate professional ways at some point, well, Bishop and Levitt would definitely make a fantastic musical writing team. A sudden and slightly concerning thought occurred to her as she dropped her hand back to her side. Given the history between the three of them, it probably would have been a particularly good idea to have called ahead and warned Tom and Kyle that she was bringing Blake. Well, she thought to herself with a wince, there was nothing she could do about it now. Hopefully everyone would casually ignore the situation and there wouldn't be any problems. She focused carefully on the reactions of the people behind her as Jimmy stepped around her frozen form to cast his eyes toward his best friend.

Looking directly at the couple curled up closely together on the bed, Jimmy snorted in laughter, holding his hands up placatingly and said "Hey man, I'm not judging but Kyle, you do realise your boyfriend is standing right here. So Tom, you might want to get out of his bed."

Kyle's eyes jolted open in shock as Julia shut her own tightly in resignation at the inflammatory comment and muttered "Oh God."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hi everyone, I'm sorry it took me so long to post this chapter! (I have a good excuse... I twisted my wrist and typing wasn't really an option until it healed.) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for all of the lovely feedback I've received in reviews, subscriptions and bookmarks! It's wonderful to hear from all of you! Cheers, Rose


	13. Endings and beginnings

Recognition of his mistake flashed over Jimmy's face after Julia's comment and Karen's exasperated "Jimmy!"

Immediately perceiving Kyle's distress now that he was actively looking for it, Jimmy swore loudly and started apologising as quickly as he could as he began to panic. He pleaded shakily "Kyle, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't thinking; I didn't mean to make things worse for you! Please forgive me! I..." He held his breath the instant Kyle lifted up his hand, facing his palm out in a clear signal for Jimmy to shut up.

"Jimmy, enough. Just stop." Pursing his lips tightly together, he finished "We'll talk about this later." Kyle sighed deeply, turning to Tom and silently accepting his help to start gradually sitting up. Kyle really didn't want to face Blake lying down in a hospital bed; he couldn't do anything about the hospital bed part but he could at least sit up. He was grateful to observe Julia take Blake's arm and gently suggest he give Kyle a few minutes to resituate himself before dealing with the messy situation.

Jimmy's thoughts raced as he watched the slow progress Kyle was making. The whole process looked seriously painful. Damn it! If only he hadn't spoken. He hadn't meant to hurt his best friend and Kyle had looked so comfortable curled up with Tom before they'd barged in. It would have been fine if he'd waited to talk to Kyle in private; he could have teased his best friend about the awkward situation and kept him honest. But no, Jimmy had to go and open his stupid mouth and ruin everything, just like he always did. Oh God, what if Kyle left him this time? Jimmy wouldn't blame him after everything he'd done over the past few months and now this, straight after his promise to do better. Kyle was his brother in everything except blood and Jimmy had no one else. Kyle had kicked him out and then died before they could patch things up and Jimmy was terrified that he'd say or do something Kyle would consider unforgivable. He loved Kyle and he couldn't afford to lose him again. Eventually, he thought to himself in resignation, Kyle would see him for the lost cause he really was. It was only a matter of time. Then he'd leave and Jimmy would be alone, just like he deserved. Gritting his teeth, Jimmy tried to fight through the craving to block out his pain by getting high, desperately trying to focus on something beyond the sweet oblivion cocaine offered. What if he just took one more hit, one last time, just enough to... Jimmy shook his head violently, trying to clear away the images. He was going to get clean and sober. He wanted to get better. He was going to get better! Rationally, he knew the drugs wouldn't help resolve anything. That was just the addiction talking. He clenched his hands together tightly; unfortunately knowing that you were an addict with screwed up brain chemistry and ignoring the intense desire for cocaine crashing over you in a never-ending series of waves were two entirely different things. Resisting the urge to punch something, Jimmy settled for swearing vehemently in the privacy of his head; he freaking hated withdrawal! He just had to get through this next day or so. He couldn't give in. He owed it to Kyle and he owed it to himself.

Jimmy hadn't quite wrapped his head around Hit List's success yet; the thought that maybe he was worth something, his music meant something and he wasn't a complete failure. Of course, he was still convinced that it was Kyle's ideas and determination that had really been the driving factor behind the musical's success, he'd just written some songs to tell Kyle's story. But for some reason, Kyle saw more in him, expected more of him than a couple of songs. He didn't really understand why; all he saw when looked in the mirror was a broken man whose family destroyed him, who slept around just to feel something, who constantly screwed up his life by making the wrong decisions and who occasionally toyed with a few piano keys. As for Karen, the love she'd proclaimed for him when they'd all thought Kyle was dead didn't make sense to him either. Jimmy didn't know who she thought she was in love with, but he was sure she didn't see the same man he did. How could anyone love the man he really was? It wasn't like his family ever had, and weren't they supposed to love you no matter what? He wanted to be the man Kyle saw in him, the man Karen saw in him but he just didn't know how. He wasn't sure he'd ever know how! With despair creeping through his heart Jimmy swore again, fighting back tears and reminding himself that he was just experiencing the crazy mood swings of cocaine withdrawal. That was all. Okay, so he wasn't completely sure about Karen but he did know that Kyle definitely loved him. Kyle was his family that loved him no matter what, irrespective of whether shared blood coursed through their veins. Trying to gather some control over his scrambled emotions, Jimmy silently promised himself and Kyle that this would be the last time he ever had to go through this. Feeling a little stronger, he drew on every ounce of courage he could find and used them to shove away the tantalising thoughts of slipping outside and getting high. Wanting to distract himself, he carefully scrutinised the couple on the bed. Kyle had just finished the slow process of sitting up and was now propped up against the pillows as he quietly conferred with Tom.

Tom murmured in Kyle's ear "Okay, you're settled so I'll just..." and gestured to the side of the bed, carefully slipping out from under the starched sheets as he spoke.

Kyle muttered in distress "Tom, wait, you don't have to leave."

Tom shook his head, looking intently into Kyle's eyes and speaking faintly enough that his lover alone could hear. "It's okay. I'm not going to pretend this isn't weird or awkward for me but I knew you were seeing him. I don't know if you're officially single after your fight with Blake, but either way it won't change how I feel. Kyle, I know we haven't talked yet but I told you that I care about you and I want us to be together. I meant that; I don't want just a casual relationship with you. That's not enough for me anymore. If you want us to be together too then you have to sort things out with him." He tilted his head slightly to gesture to Blake as unobtrusively as possible. "If you're not interested, if you want to be with him or with someone else and just friends with me, that's your choice to make and I'll understand." Pain swimming in his eyes as his mouth twitched to one side, Tom fought to keep his voice level as he continued. "I wouldn't like it, but if that's what you wanted I'd respect your decision and of course you could still stay with me until you'd recovered. It would be fine, I could simply sleep on the couch and still help you as a friend. Kyle, I'm not going anywhere unless you ask me to, but I definitely don't want to push you into anything either." He surreptitiously rested his hand over Kyle's, using his body to shield the movement from the rest of the room so as not to upset Blake any further. "Listen, I know you're still in a lot of pain and on some strong meds. So, if you need more time, if you're not feeling up to making a decision, that's absolutely fine too. We can go ahead with the plans for you and your parents to stay with me in the meantime and I'll wait for as long as you need. Whenever and whatever you decide, please be sure it's what you truly want." He shook his head slightly. "Not what I want or what Blake wants or what anyone else wants. Just you. Okay?"

Kyle nodded and returned just as quietly and earnestly "Tom, I'm so sorry about all this. It's an absolute mess and you deserve better. I deserve better too; this isn't like me. I don't cheat on guys." He pursed his lips and cast his eyes down in embarrassment. "At least I never have before. Things just got out of hand. Tom, I never expected... " He scrambled wildly for words to convey his emotion, continuing haltingly "You were just so... and I, we..." Taking a deep breath to think for a moment and bolt together a coherent sentence, Kyle finished quietly "We'll talk soon, okay? Tom, thank you for being so understanding. I know it can't have been easy."

Tom sent him a somewhat tense smile before murmuring "You're welcome" as he moved away.

Despite straining his ears, Jimmy hadn't been able to hear the words Tom or Kyle had spoken, but he had seen Tom hop out of bed in response. Jimmy winced; Kyle's current discomfort was his fault. Jimmy slid a sideways glance at Blake, the other person at the centre of this mess. Blake had looked shell-shocked at the scene they'd walked in on and had started to head over to Kyle before waiting at Julia's calm request. Jimmy was glad to see that Blake was a decent enough guy to listen to her and give Kyle a few minutes to sort himself out. Unfortunately, Blake's patience had apparently run out because he was now glaring darkly at Tom. Jimmy didn't think Blake would be particularly dangerous since he had walked away from a confrontation at the bar. Still, Jimmy knew from experience that anyone could be dangerous with the right trigger and he really didn't like Blake's murderous expression.

Jimmy frowned to himself in thought. Maybe there was a way to help get Kyle to forgive him. Surely Kyle would appreciate his new guy or boyfriend or whatever he and Tom were being returned in one piece. Jimmy figured that he could be a hell of a lot more threatening than Tom, especially after they'd all seen him cuddled up with Kyle only a few minutes ago. Jimmy never seen Kyle so contentedly curled up with anyone, accepting comfort the way he had been when they'd all come into the room. It looked like Kyle might actually really like Tom. Jimmy didn't really get the attraction but shrugging slightly, he thought to himself that wasn't strange because he didn't really see the attraction to guys in general. He just wasn't wired that way and Kyle just was, something Jimmy definitely appreciated since he really wasn't sure he'd fare too well against Kyle's kindness if they hit on the same people! Anyway, ensuring Tom didn't emerge from the situation with a black eye or bloodied nose would hopefully go a long way toward Kyle forgiving him for his stupid comments. He owed Kyle regardless; Jimmy had so many things to make up for already and he couldn't bear the thought of Kyle leaving him again. He knew how much that hurt, how badly he'd screwed up and he didn't want to go through that ever again. His resolve to protect Kyle and by extension Tom firmly in place, Jimmy stepped over to clap Tom on the shoulder. He then plastered a firm scowl onto his face, returning Blake's dark look with interest. If Blake wanted to hurt Kyle or Kyle's new boyfriend, he was going to have to go through Jimmy. Honestly, he didn't fancy Blake's chances.

Deciding that he'd had enough of waiting now that Kyle was sitting up and was alone, Blake commented sarcastically "Great, are we all done now? Ready to talk? Because I'd like to have a discussion with my boyfriend about his other boyfriend." He gesticulated wildly between the three of them as he spoke, continuing to glare at Tom until he noticed the threatening look from Jimmy and recoiled. That look promised violence if Blake dared to try anything physically and he definitely believed Jimmy was capable of carrying through with the threat. With a shiver of fear, Blake pushed the satisfying fantasy of punching Tom in the face far out of his head. Locking his anger and betrayal away with it into the recesses of his mind, Blake took a deep breath and thought back to the day after Kyle's accident.

He remembered how devastated and shaken he'd been and let himself feel that instead of the anger. At least Jimmy wouldn't hurt him for that! Blake had missed Kyle so much and he was so grateful and happy that Kyle was alive. Blake regretted what had happened between them but looking at Kyle lying still, pale and broken in the hospital bed he concluded that in the end, Tom didn't really matter here. Kyle was alive and he was going to be fine, that was what mattered. That was the only thing that was important, not his anger and pain at Kyle's betrayal simmering away just under the surface. Whatever Kyle and Tom had was probably just sex anyway; Blake knew that Tom had been a longstanding celebrity crush of Kyle's and he was probably still a little star-struck. Tom could have played on that and seduced him; it wasn't exactly unheard of in this industry! Kyle tried to see the best in people; maybe Tom had taken advantage of that somehow. Blake didn't want to lose his sweet and gorgeous boyfriend so maybe he could try to understand under those circumstances. Normally he couldn't forgive cheating but he'd had time to cool down and there must be some kind of story there. After all, Kyle was a genuinely nice guy and he had tried to chase after Blake and explain something at the bar. Maybe they'd just been drunk when they hooked up.

Blake had done some research through the gossip pages after Jimmy's outburst and he'd been irritated when he couldn't find much dirt on Tom. Nonetheless, he had managed to infer that Tom wasn't exactly known for long-term relationships. Given that Tom had been mentioned on and off for the last decade, the complete absence of any listing of a serious partner, either past or present made that clear. It was a strong indication that Tom and Kyle were probably just a fling. As for how they were tucked in together when they walked in, well, Blake thought to himself, maybe that wasn't what it seemed either. Kyle could have just gone to Tom for comfort while Blake wasn't there. Actually, Blake realised with a wince, he hadn't even asked Kyle if it was true, he'd just taken a clearly strung out Jimmy at his word. That probably hadn't been a smart decision. Making up his mind to give Kyle a chance to explain and hopefully, another chance to be together, Blake stepped around Jimmy carefully and grabbed Kyle's hand before smiling and speaking. "Hey Kyle. I'm so glad you're alive! I missed you so much." After spending an entire day thinking he'd never see Kyle again, holding his hand was nice. Whatever happened next, Blake truly was glad that Kyle was alive. With a heady combination of habit, heedless courage and desire, Blake threw caution to the wind and leaned in to kiss Kyle.

Kyle's eyes shot wide in shock and he turned his head so Blake's lips landed wetly on his cheek instead. Kyle's eyes frantically found Tom's dismayed ones as he brought up his arms to push Blake away as best he could with a broken arm. It was mostly ineffectual but did at least manage to send Blake the message to back off. Kyle then coughed a few times, clearing his throat and wincing as the movement agitated his ribs. His eyes still darting over to Tom every few seconds, Kyle stuttered out to Blake "Uh, hi Blake, um, it's nice that you're glad I'm alive but you can't just kiss me! We broke up!" Still looking dazed he rattled off swiftly "Well, I guess we didn't technically say the words that we were broken up but I pretty much considered myself dumped cold after that whole scene in the bar..." He trailed off with a blush.

Blake turned to cast his eyes throughout the room, pausing momentarily to fix on Tom before requesting "Could you all give us a minute please?"

"Kyle?" Chris asked in concern.

"It's fine Dad, everyone, give us a minute please. There are a few things I need to say to Blake."

Tom swiftly leant over and muttered to Marie "Blake just got here, he won't know how badly Kyle is hurt. It would only make it worse if I said anything though, would you please..." He trailed off and was relieved at almost imperceptible nod he received and subsequent warning to Blake.

"Okay, we'll give you the chance to talk in private, but please try to stay calm, both of you. Blake, Kyle might be putting on a brave face but he's seriously injured and in pain. He's not supposed to be dealing with anything stressful right now." She pointed at the monitor "If you get him too upset, you're going to set off the blood pressure and heart rate alarms and your conversation will be over when the medical staff charge in here and kick everyone out. So, I understand that you might become upset but please be aware of Kyle's health and try to stay cool-headed."

"Mum! Oh my God, I can take care of myself!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Yes, honey, you can. But I can't ignore the fact that you're still badly injured; you're on serious painkillers, you can barely walk to the bathroom by yourself and the doctors have you hooked up to all of these machines for a good reason! Kyle, I'm on your side here. Honey, I'm sorry for interfering but I just want to make sure you don't get hurt. Blake hasn't been here long; he needed to know that you were badly hurt and that he had to be careful. Kyle, I know you too well to believe that you'd tell him to wait until you're feeling better even if that was what you needed. You're far too kind and generous sometimes and you always put other people's feelings before your own, so I interfered. I'm your Mum, you're always going to be my son and I'm always going to want to protect you even though you're all grown up and have your own life now. It might annoy you sometimes but it's not going to change; I'm not going to stop worrying whether you're 4, 24 or 74. It's just one of those things about being a parent. Honey, you'll understand when you have kids." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Now, we'll give you some privacy but shout if you need anything. We'll be right out in the hall."

Ana quipped to Karen "Yep, we'll all be right out in the hall eavesdropping."

Kyle overheard the comment and laughed as everyone shuffled out of the room. He then looked over to Blake with a tense frown.

Aware that he finally had Kyle's full attention, Blake immediately started speaking pleadingly. "Kyle, I'm so sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain in the bar and I ignored you asking me to come back. I mean, I didn't even ask you if it was true or not, I just listened to Jimmy even though I know he's an addict and he was clearly strung out that night. I'm sorry about that, if nothing else you at least deserved a chance to tell me if it was true. My only excuse is that I was in shock and you really hurt me; I just couldn't deal with the situation right then. I needed time to process everything, I was so confused because I thought we were happy and I didn't understand what went wrong. This whole thing, it shouldn't have happened and I shouldn't have found out like that. I was so angry with you for betraying me when I found out that night. I thought you were a nicer guy than that." Lashes of rage flared across his face and then quieted as the corners of his eyes creased in pain. "But then you died." A few tears welled up in his eyes and he blinked them back as he continued shakily. "And it hurt, more than I would have expected. Then, I had plenty of time to think about what ifs. What if I'd given you a chance to explain, what if I'd walked you home even though I was upset, what if I had another chance? What would I do if I could see you again? I wanted more time with you, Kyle. We can have that now. Baby, I can forgive you for whatever happened with Tom Levitt. I don't even know if anything at all happened but if it did, I'm guessing you were drunk or it was just a fling that didn't mean anything. I know that you're a fan of his and he probably just seduced you." Disgust painted itself across his face. "I know that happens a lot in this business, powerful director and young upcoming artist; you only have to look at what those dancers said about Derek! It's not right but it happens." He squeezed Kyle's hand tightly and resumed pleading with him. "You asked me to come back at the bar and give you a chance to explain and I'm so sorry that I'm late. I'm here now; I want to try again, to give you a chance to explain. Kyle, I'm hoping we can fix this. I don't want to lose you over one stupid mistake."

Kyle pursed his lips tightly and stuttered out "Blake, I'm so, so sorry about all of this. I never meant to hurt you. Uh, okay, so Jimmy was telling the truth; I did cheat on you. I made a mistake; I should never have slept with Tom while you and I were still together. That wasn't fair to you and I regret that I hurt you." Biting his bottom lip and staring down at their hands, he continued. "Um, I'm not going to go into the details of when or why it happened, that's between Tom and me. However, I do want to be clear that he didn't take advantage of me. It wasn't like that; it was my choice and I take full responsibility." Feeling that he owed it to Blake to lift his eyes back up and look him squarely in the face, Kyle added uncertainly "Blake, I'm not going to assume that you'd still want to date me after I've just confirmed that I did actually cheat on you. In case you do though, um, I need to tell you that you're a great guy but I just want to be friends. I'm sorry and I hope we can still work together.

Blake shook his head in disgust as rage coiled around his spine, embedding its sharpened tendrils in his mind and bringing back his pain, bitterness and betrayal. He jerked upright as he raised his voice, too agitated to sit any longer next to his now officially ex-boyfriend. "You're choosing him over me? He's twice your age! I'm not an idiot Kyle; you worded that apology very carefully so that you could say sorry for the affect on me but avoid the fact that you didn't regret actually sleeping with him. What, is he really good in bed with all those extra years of experience or something?" Taking a deep breath, Blake yelled "You pursued me, remember? Not the other way around! I was willing to stand by you after you cheated on me for Christ's sake! I helped with Jimmy when he was high! I ignored the fact that I couldn't sleep whenever you stayed over and got up in the middle of the night, turning all the lights on to rewrite something for the twentieth time! God knows why, your writing is so bad that Hit List's practically sung through! And by the way, your taste in cardigans is awful!" Blake paused for a minute, breathing heavily as that last sally echoed ridiculously in his ears. Forcibly quieting his voice, he asserted "I'm sorry, obviously the cardigans aren't important and the comment on your writing wasn't fair. Look, the important thing Kyle is that despite all of that other crap, I wanted to try and make us work. I was willing to try to get over the fact that you betrayed me and our relationship and what, you don't even care enough to try?" He cut Kyle's attempt to respond off with his own vocal exclamation. "No, you don't get to talk to me right now! You don't get yet another chance to explain. I gave you more chances than you deserved and you've made your position clear. I can't believe I dated you, you're just a lying, cheating..." Blake froze mid sentence as Ana calmly clapped her hand over his mouth.

Blake had been too focused on Kyle to notice but the others hadn't ignored his angered words. The second he'd started shouting a minute previously there had been a commotion out in the corridor. Tom and Chris had moved to rush back into the room but Jimmy had stopped them, explaining swiftly "You'll only make it worse. I'll go." However, Ana had stepped past everyone, unperturbed by the yelling as she had thrown open the door before Jimmy had the chance. Rapidly assessing the situation she'd walked straight over to Blake and stopped him by the most efficient method she could think of, a hand clamped forcefully across his mouth.

Ana then said firmly "Blake, don't finish that sentence. Trust me, you'll only regret it later." Turning her head to glance at Kyle, she added "Kyle, sorry about Blake, he's understandably a little upset with you and he didn't mean half of that. We all missed you and it's wonderful to see you're okay. Please excuse us for a minute." She then dragged Blake out of the room. Stopping a short distance down the hall she shoved him down onto a nearby bench, following quickly to sit next him. "Blake, you have to calm down. You were only dating for a month and the two of you broke up. You don't have any say in what he does or who he sees anymore."

Blake observed angrily "Yeah, apparently I didn't have any say over who he saw when we were together either. That was the problem!"

Ana let him vent, then calmly remarked, "Right, which is exactly why you dumped him. Blake, if you're smart, you'll go back in there and apologise for what you said. He's a really nice guy and he's not an idiot, he understands that he hurt you. So he'll probably forgive you easily enough for a few angry words and you might still be able to be friends, or at least friendly acquaintances."

She grinned at him, nudging his shoulder with her own affectionately and trying to lighten the mood. "I'm not sure insulting his taste in clothing helped your case much but you might owe him a special apology about his cardigans, I think his Grandma made a couple of them. Seriously Blake, I know that you liked him and you were really hurt when he cheated on you. I'm not going to pretend that cheating is okay. Obviously he shouldn't have done that and I was a little surprised because it seems out of character for him." She lifted her shoulder in a one-armed shrug. "Then I saw the way he was looking at Tom in there. Clearly, they weren't just hooking up and it looks like they are or they will be together. So, I know you're angry and upset but you need to let all of that go; you have to let him go. Honey, I always thought you liked him far more than he liked you anyway. You can't blame him for that; it's not his fault. It would be much easier if we could choose who we fall in love with, but we can't. That's just a part of life. Blake, you have to learn to let him go and enjoy the things you can have. You can't have him as your boyfriend anymore but you can still have his friendship. Look, he's a really sweet guy but he's not going to let it go if you say some of the things I think you were about to say in there. I know how upset you were when we all thought he died and I doubt you want to let him walk out of your life completely. I promise you, he's a fantastic guy to have as a friend. You can still have that. So, take whatever time you need to cool off and then get your cute butt back in there to say you're sorry. Deal?" She smiled at his nod of acceptance, standing and giving him a quick hug before herding him back down the corridor to join the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hi everyone, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the extra long chapter today! I just didn't want to break it any earlier, though I did decide to delay Kyle and Jimmy's discussion until the next chapter. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that Kyle will be getting out of the hospital part way through the next chapter and the backdrop of the story will change accordingly. Despite the story title, this change won't mean the end of the fanfic; there are still plenty of things yet to be resolved beyond the hospital walls... Plus I'm still having too much fun to stop just yet! (I hope you are too!) ~ Rose.


	14. Breaking out of the hospital

As Ana and Blake moved past the cluster of people in the hall, Jimmy quietly asked if everyone could give Kyle and him another minute before coming back in. Jimmy needed to apologise properly to Kyle for what he had said so he was relieved when he received the group's tacit agreement.

As Jimmy slipped through the doorway, Chris looked to Julia, Marie, Tom and Karen before speaking wryly "So, coffee time anyone?"

With a tight grin Marie commented "Maybe tea. I'm not sure anyone needs the extra caffeine boost after that illuminating little shouting match."

Julia concurred swiftly "Yes, that's a great idea. Nice calming tea."

Shooting a worried glance at wall separating Kyle from view, Tom suggested "Actually, you all go on ahead. I need to go make a couple of calls to check on Bombshell and the nurses said I could use my phone in the waiting room just over there."

Looking at him knowingly, Marie dropped a word in Tom's ear in an conspiratorial undertone "I was trying to come up with an excuse myself to wait around out here. Thanks Tom, Jimmy's obviously not feeling too well and I'd prefer if someone a little more reliable were around in case Kyle needed anything." She finished with a smile "And Tom despite the inauspicious beginning we all just heard about, I think you'll do nicely. Take care of him; we'll be back soon." Spinning smartly on her heel, Marie gathered the rest of the group and shooed them toward the café, collecting Ana and Blake along the way.

Jimmy slunk uncertainly into the room, meeting his best friend's eyes with hesitation before quietly declaring "Kyle, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

Kyle looked up at him when he entered and asked in resignation "I guess everyone heard the whole thing once Blake started yelling?" At Jimmy's nod he sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly and noting, "Damn. Okay, then. Yeah, I'm fine." Kyle tilted his head and gave a tiny shrug "It's never nice to hear some of those things about yourself but I can cope. I did cheat on him; I'm not surprised he was upset and I probably deserved a few angry comments in retaliation. I don't want to talk about Blake right now though, Jimmy." He fixed Jimmy with an intent stare "Do you want to explain what you were doing earlier?" Exasperation folding into his voice, Kyle remarked "I thought you were working on thinking before you speak!"

Jimmy flinched, heading closer to perch on the corner of the bed but holding back from hugging Kyle again like he wanted. Jimmy wasn't sure his best friend would welcome the touch right now and he was too afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing to find out. Eyes downcast, Jimmy ventured softly "I'm sorry Kyle. I know that I keep saying that and then I mess up again and again, but I do mean it. You're right; I wasn't thinking. I don't know, I thought the whole situation was weirdly funny because I'm always the one screwing up and you're always the one doing the right thing. This time it was you messing up and I guess it just seemed a little funny. I didn't even really think about anyone apart from you and Tom hearing it until after I saw the reactions. I shouldn't have said it, I only made things worse and I'm so sorry, Kyle. I hope that you can still forgive me." Jimmy's voice trembled faintly as he finished.

Kyle sighed "Somehow I find it easy to believe you didn't actually recognise it might be a bad idea to say that in front of Blake." He slid his hand tiredly through his hair and asked "Jimmy, how long since your last high? Tom mentioned you weren't drinking the other night and you promised me this morning that you were going to get clean. I'm wondering if you're going through withdrawal. It would explain everything, why you look like you're about to cry right now, why you thought the whole Tom and Blake situation was funny, being so angry at Tom earlier, not thinking..." Kyle stopped to reach out to put his hand over Jimmy's, looking his best friend intently in the eyes before speaking gently. "Jimmy, I know how you get, mood swings, irritable, craving drugs and hating everyone including yourself. So, when did you last get high?" Kyle pursed his lips tightly. "And don't lie to me. You know I can tell."

Hanging his head, Jimmy muttered "The morning after your accident. I didn't know about it yet, that you were dead. That everyone thought you were dead." He jerked up his eyes to pleadingly meet Kyle's. "I haven't taken anything since then, I swear. Kyle, I'm so sorry, I keep hurting you and I'm scared you'll give up on me someday. I love you; without you, I don't know what..." His sentence petered out as the tears that had been threatening to slip down his face started falling in earnest. Hand twitching under Kyle's, he jolted forward to hug his best friend tightly, being cautious not to jar Kyle's injuries with his sharp movements.

Kyle shut his eyes briefly in resignation, hugging Jimmy back and sighing quietly before he responded. "I love you too. Look Jimmy, I wish you hadn't made that comment earlier since it didn't help the situation, but I understand why you did. Yes, things have to change, but I'm not expecting it to happen overnight. This mess wasn't really your fault anyway, I was the one who chose to cheat on Blake. I should have broken up with him before being with Tom. I know I didn't say much about it earlier and I'm really not looking forward to seeing my name dragged through the mud but that is mostly my fault, not yours. Yes, you made it public but apart from that, it's all on me. If I hadn't cheated, you wouldn't have had that mistake to use as ammunition against me when you were upset. Jimmy, I can see that you're sorry and you're making an effort to start to try to get better and that's enough for me right now. Okay? You're my best friend and I promised that I'd do my best to help you through this, and I will. I'm so proud of you for not taking anything for a few days, it's a fantastic start, as is your agreement to see a psychiatrist. I know it will take time to fix things and I'm sure we'll both stuff up how we handle everything occasionally; I'm not sure what I need to do to support you either." He patted Jimmy on the back before pulling back to look at Jimmy's face and resting his hand on his best friend's arm. "Jimmy, I noticed what you did with him and Blake, putting yourself in the way to make sure Blake wouldn't try anything." Kyle gave Jimmy another quick hug in gratitude and added "Thank you for that. I'd hate to see Tom hurt, especially because of something I did."

Jimmy grinned at him "Anytime. So, Tom Levitt... you seem to really like him."

Kyle blushed slightly and confided "I do. Tom is just..." Kyle trailed off as his lips swept up into a dazed smile as he thought of Tom. "I know I said he was pretty great but he's so much more than that, he's amazing Jimmy. He makes me happy and I don't know, when I'm with him he makes me wonder if the only reason I believed that there wasn't just one person was because I hadn't met him yet." He paused with a slight frown before rambling on. "Ah, obviously I'd met him, but I didn't know him, not really, he was just this hot celebrity whose work I loved and I was definitely star-struck. Then I got to know him, and I just, well, he's amazing." Kyle grinned happily before snapping his focus onto Jimmy. "Now, what are we going to do about you? I'm so proud of you for trying but Jimmy, you shouldn't have to fight through this all on your own. Um, I haven't found someone for you to see yet but Tom offered to help. Do you mind if I get him back in here and try to organise an appointment for you as soon as possible? Thank you Jimmy."

A few hours later, Tom found himself reflecting on the events of the day as Kyle lay sleeping in his arms. Tom was too awake to sleep just yet, it was still fairly early and he'd had a long nap that morning. It had been another crazy day; the joy of Kyle doing better, being so breathtakingly alive mingled with various visits. Oh God, the visits; Jimmy, Julia, Blake and all the drama that had been involved. He and Julia had taken the first step to mending their partnership and he'd made plans for Kyle to come stay with him as he recovered, inviting Kyle's parents along too. After the scene with Blake, Kyle had needed to deal with Jimmy, explaining quietly to Tom that his best friend was a complete mess right now because his system was in cocaine withdrawal. Once Blake had apologised, everyone had hugged Kyle and headed back to Hit List while Tom had rung around to find a good psychiatrist for Jimmy. He now had an appointment for first thing tomorrow morning but by the time Tom had called his contacts and they'd managed to find someone for Jimmy, it was already early evening and it had been time for doctor's rounds again.

Unsurprisingly after all of the stress of the day, Kyle had been worn out so he'd just asked Tom to hold him again after evening hospital rounds and fallen asleep before they could talk about anything else. Tom swept his hand lightly over Kyle's cheek with a sigh. Not knowing what Kyle wanted was driving him a little crazy. Tom smiled as he thought about Kyle and how they had a few special moments interspersed through the day to just relax and enjoy themselves. Even though they still hadn't had a chance to talk, kissing him and holding him was incredible and Tom hoped they'd have that discussion soon. He was just so uncertain whether Kyle would want him after he got out of the hospital and back to normal life. Obviously Kyle felt something or he wouldn't have kissed Tom, or slept so trustingly on his chest but Tom couldn't be quite sure how strongly Kyle felt or whether he wanted a future together. Tom desperately hoped that the man he'd fallen in love with wanted a future with him but Kyle could have anyone he wanted. Kyle had broken up with Blake and agreed to stay at his place and talk about things, so Tom was hopeful he wanted them to be together too. Still, he couldn't be sure. He bit his lip tightly, worrying it with his teeth as he stared blankly at the stark white ceiling. Hopefully Kyle would be well enough to talk about things soon. He ignored the tiny bubble of frustration within him at the delay; Kyle's health was the most important thing and he'd wait however long it took for Kyle to be ready. With the thought that he loved Kyle far too much to do anything else, Tom kissed the crown of his lover's head and relaxed to the sweet melody of Kyle's even breathing.

Tom was yanked from his slumber early the next morning at the sound of Dr Marshall's quick footsteps entering Kyle's hospital room. She grinned at him when she noticed he was awake and spoke quietly in reflection. "Good morning Mr Levitt, I see the nurses did turn a blind eye to the two of you together after all. I'm glad; it's wonderful to see your connection show that Kyle is going to have the support network he needs when he leaves here this morning. We usually only treat patients for a few days and then they still have a lot of recovery left to do when they get home so it's always nice to see that they'll have the necessary assistance to make the process as easy as possible. Even though he'll be feeling much better within the next few weeks it will probably be a couple of months until he's completely back to full strength because of his broken bones. I assume he'll be staying with you at least until he can move around more freely without aggravating his ribs?" Tom simply nodded. "Excellent, I'm happy with that option and I have no problem discharging him under those circumstances. If you could just wake him up for me, I can do a final exam and as long as that goes as well as I expect, we can get him up, showered, dressed and started on the discharge process. We'll sort the paperwork out and you should have him back at your place before noon. Oh, I forgot, his clothes are badly torn up from the accident so you'll probably want to purchase something simple for him to wear home from the gift shop downstairs. We have basic everyday attire down there so you'll be fine."

Everything had gone as well as Dr Marshall had hoped and it wasn't long before Tom was twisting his keys into the lock on his apartment, waiting to hear the familiar clunk of the barrels aligning. Once they did, Tom pushed open his door and flipped on the lights before inviting Kyle and his parents into the apartment.

Kyle was still unsteady on his feet and leaning heavily on Tom for balance so they headed straight for Tom's couch. Kyle slumped down with a groan. Receiving enquiries about his health from everyone, he responded. "It's okay, I'm fine. The car ride over just rattled my ribs a bit. I think I'll just go lie down once I take a minute to catch my breath."

Marie chimed in "Sure honey, that's a good idea. As the doctor said, you'll still need lots of rest for the next few days. Chris and I might actually pop out while you do that; we do need to go check out of the hotel and we might pick up some groceries on the way back. No, Tom, I insist; it's the least we can do. You're letting us stay with Kyle and besides, I doubt you were planning to have three extra mouths to feed this week."

Tom responded "No, I wasn't, thank you Marie. Um, my spare keys are sitting in the wooden bowl over there if you want to grab them on your way out. That way if Kyle is still asleep you can just come back in without knocking and you won't wake him. Hmm, Kyle will need a few things too." He turned to his lover "I assume you don't mind if your parents stop by your place and pick up a few sets of clothes for you?"

"That would be great, thank you Mom and Dad. We'll see you in a bit." As the door clicked shut behind his parents, Kyle groaned again and asked "Tom, can you help me to bed please? I'd really like to lie down now."

Tom carefully supported him to the bedroom and helped him change out of his jeans into a pair of Tom's most comfortable pajamas. The dark material was well-worn and soft, though Tom noticed with a grin that they had to roll down the waistband so that the hem rested at Kyle's ankles instead of dragging across the floor. Kyle had such a big personality it was easy to forget sometimes that he was a fair bit shorter than Tom was. Tom settled Kyle into his bed before kissing him on the forehead and whispering "Get some sleep. I'll be in later but I should go sort out my office for your parents."

Kyle grabbed his hand "Wait Tom, stay, please, I know they won't mind if you haven't made up the bed or tidied your desk before they get back. Now that I'm lying down I'm actually feeling much better and I've been wondering about something for the last couple of days; you mentioned you heard about Jimmy and I arguing in the bar. Well, Jimmy's little speech, anyway, it wasn't really an argument so much as a rant. I know that you weren't at the bar that night so how did you know? You didn't explain earlier, just said you heard it from gossip. Derek was there, did he tell you?"

Tom laughed and stepped back to sit by his bedside, saying gently "Yeah, no Derek and I still don't really get along, even though we tolerate each other since Bombshell. Kyle, Jimmy was standing on the bar in a room full of Broadway fans, many of whom have at least a passing familiarity with my work." Tom clasped Kyle's hand as he smiled self-deprecatingly and continued. "I'm well known in that arena and you know how the gossip mill can be. When he shouted my name, they noticed. People love a scandal and between the problems Bombshell has already had and the links between it and Hit List..." Tom trailed off, sighing and commented "Well, we probably would have made the gossip pages already if it hadn't been withheld because of your accident. Richard Francis, the editor from the New York Times actually contacted me before news of your death had spread to ask if it was true and if I had a comment. He wanted to run it in his next article as yet another connection between the Bombshell and Hit List creative teams. Then there was another reporter that I think just wanted to print the next edition of the Bombshell director scandal." Tom swung his arms out and pretended to be holding a newspaper as he read out the imaginary article, mimicking a newsreader's formal tone and expression.

"Bombshell's Levitt Hits on Hit List's Bishop. Rumours are swirling today that Tom Levitt is following in the footsteps of erstwhile Bombshell director Derek Wills, whose poor behaviour was brought to light last fall by a sexual harassment suit from several dancers. Kyle Bishop, 24, whom readers may remember as the brilliant young book writer for Broadway's upcoming musical "Hit List," is reported to be involved with 39-year-old Levitt. Bishop's writing partner, Jimmy Collins was heard shouting about the assignation at a recent event held for Hit List. Given the disparity in age and Bishop's pre-existing relationship with a young colleague at the Manhattan Theatre Workshop, one wonders how the liaison occurred. Perhaps Levitt is simply looking for a new writing partner, given the recent speculation of a Houston-Levitt split. Or perhaps Levitt has truly taken after his predecessor Wills and seduced the impressionable young writer..." Cutting his words off abruptly and dropping his hands back to Kyle's, Tom shook his head and remarked despondently "Just another installment of Tom the monster. Or worse, someone could suggest that you're taking advantage of me by sleeping with me for my connections or my money." He sighed "Kyle, we probably will make the gossip pages now that you're doing fine but hopefully they won't decide to drag either of our names through the mud. With any luck the news will focus on your miraculous return to life and the connections between the musicals, but I can't promise anything." Tom lifted one shoulder into a one-armed shrug and finished "I'm sorry."

Kyle grimaced and remarked "It's not your fault and Tom, you could never be a monster. If anything, it's my fault. I know that some people would have been interested because of our musicals and the age difference. But, it wouldn't have been as much of a scandal if I hadn't cheated on Blake. Jimmy wouldn't have even yelled about us in the middle of a bar if it hadn't been for that, though I definitely will give him the full blame for any rumour that mentions me being in love with him since that one is his fault. Tom, I shouldn't have kept seeing Blake after we were together and I feel awful that I did. I hurt him and I regret that." Noticing Tom's downturned eyes, he added frantically, eyes pleading with Tom to understand. "Wait, no, I didn't mean that I regret you. Damn it! I'm not being clear. Tom, I don't regret being with you. I don't think I could regret you if I tried. You're amazing. It's just that I wish I hadn't hurt Blake in the process of finding you. That's all, I promise."

Slipping his hand out from under Tom's, Kyle reached out and tipped Tom's chin up to look searchingly into his eyes. Enunciating each word carefully, Kyle softly repeated, "You are amazing. I know we haven't talked about, well, anything. But I want to." Kyle responded to Tom's resulting frown. "I feel well enough, we're alone, we have time and I promise you that I'm sure my decision is what I really want. I think that was everything you asked me for, so can we please talk now? You've been so patient already and I don't want to keep you waiting any longer. You've said what you want; it's my turn." Kyle paused to inhale slowly at Tom's hesitant smile of agreement and continued on. "Tom, I don't regret anything we've done together. I know we have to sort things out and under the circumstances we probably should wait until things settle down a bit before rushing into something." Shaking his head, Kyle declared as he stared deeply into Tom's eyes "But I don't want to wait. Tom, when I saw those headlights rushing toward me, I honestly thought I was going to die."

Tears sprung up in Tom's eyes as he gasped "Kyle, Oh my God!"

Kyle gripped Tom's hand tightly and continued. "I'm okay, Tom, I don't remember anything after that moment until I woke up in the hospital, but I understand how fragile life can be now, how suddenly it can end with no warning and no second chances. I'm done waiting to have the things I want, done sitting back and waiting for it to be my turn for something good to happen. Tom, I want to be with you and you should know that." He grinned shyly, tipping his head forward and mumbling "You probably figured that out from all of the kissing. I hope you did. We can talk about the details later but I need you to know that I really like you and I want there to be an us too. As for the press..." He shook his head firmly. "Tom, I don't care what they say about us even if it hurts both of our reputations. You and I will know the truth and so will our friends and family. That's all that really matters and I want to be with you." Kyle awaited Tom's reply with a nervous smile.

Tom smiled warmly at him, his heart overflowing with love as he affirmed "I want to be with you too" before leaning down to plant a kiss on Kyle's upturned lips.

Kyle pulled back after a moment, moving his hand to rub across his eyes tiredly and sinking into Tom's plush mattress, soft cotton sheets and cozy blankets with a wide yawn. Kyle then lifted his voice in question. "Now that we've covered that, Tom, would you please come down here and join me? It's been a busy morning and I'm exhausted." He gave Tom a grin and said light-heartedly "I just want to go to sleep in my boyfriend's wonderfully comfy arms in his wonderfully comfy bed."

Pressing a kiss to the corner of Kyle's lips at the word Tom grinned at him and joked, his eyes alight with pure joy "Boyfriend, huh? I must have missed the part of that lovely little speech where you asked me for exclusivity and a label. Hmm, let me see..."

Kyle interrupted "Right Tom, you asked for it." Placing his hand over his heart and adopting a ridiculously formal tone completely at odds with his cheerful smile and shining eyes, Kyle pronounced, "Thomas Henry Levitt, will you do me the great honour of becoming my boyfriend?"

Wincing at his full name before smiling softly, Tom replied "On one condition. You promise never to call me Thomas again."

They both laughed as Kyle gently tapped Tom on the shoulder in reprisal and returned with wide-eyed animation "I promise. God Tom, you had me worried for a second there. When you winced I thought you were going to say no!"

Tom replied tenderly "Kyle, I was never going to say no. Yes, I really like you. Yes, I want to be with you. And yes, I will be your boyfriend. I'm so happy you asked."

Still grinning widely, Kyle reached up his right hand to the nape of Tom's neck and tugged him down for a deep and lingering kiss. After a few minutes, Tom pulled away, stroking over Kyle's jaw and humming "Mmm, as fantastic as this feels Kyle, you said you were exhausted. We have plenty of time for everything else later. For now, I'm happy just to hold you and let you get some more sleep." He bent to place a final feather-light kiss on Kyle's lips then carefully lay down and turned so Kyle's head was pillowed on his chest.

Kyle twined their legs together and cuddled into Tom happily as his eyes slipped closed. As Kyle settled down to rest, he thought to himself with a contented sigh that it felt wonderful to finally be out of the hospital and curled up in his new boyfriend's arms.


	15. Terms of endearment

Kyle stirred slowly at the low murmur of his parents' voices from the living room. With a sleepy sigh, he burrowed his head deeper into Tom's chest and cracked open his eyes. Tom whispered "Hey, Kyle" as he lifted his hand to slip through Kyle's hair.

Kyle smiled drowsily and muttered "I love it when you do that, Baby. Feels nice."

Tom's hand paused mid stroke for a second before he commented quietly "You know, you haven't called me that before."

"Baby? Haven't I? You don't mind?" Kyle queried as he shifted, stretching out his limbs carefully before glancing up at his new boyfriend.

Tom smiled at him affectionately. "No, I don't. I like it. Honestly Kyle, you could basically call me anything you wanted."

Kyle grinned brightly at him, a devious twinkle sparkling in his eyes. "Oh really? Anything? How about my sweet little pumpkin pie? My gorgeous turtle dove? My darling frosted cupcake?" Kyle ducked his head into Tom's shoulder with a chortle as he gave up his battle against mirth.

Tom joined him in laughter, gasping out "Oh God no! Nope, they're all out. Very inventive though." Kyle chuckled for another long moment before stopping suddenly with a wince. Abruptly ceasing his laughter as concern chased the amusement off his face, Tom asked, "Are you okay?"

Kyle responded quietly. "Yeah, I'm fine, Tom. I probably shouldn't be laughing that hard yet, that's all. It was worth it to see your face; you looked absolutely horrified for a split second before you started grinning. I love making you laugh." His pain easing, Kyle smiled dreamily at his lover. "I think I'll stick with calling you Tom, maybe Baby sometimes."

Tom smiled back softly as contentment coursed through his veins. "I like those." He paused for a moment with a faint frown as something occurred to him. "Uh, so I'll probably mostly call you Kyle too, possibly Baby sometimes as well, but I wanted to ask..." He paused to take a deep breath and rush on. "Do you actually like me calling you Sweetheart? Because I didn't ask before and I can call you something else if you don't like it."

"Tom, I do like Sweetheart, I like Baby too, that's fine as well. I haven't had anyone call me Sweetheart before and I don't know, I guess I associate that with you now. I like how you make me feel." Kyle's lips crept up further, delighted disbelief radiating across his face. "I don't think it's quite sunk in yet, it's only been a couple of hours. And I was asleep for most of that. But I'm so happy that you want to be with me, that I get to call you my boyfriend."

Tom's breath caught tightly in his chest at the emotion in Kyle's face as he declared, "God Kyle, I am so crazy about you. I am so happy that I get to call you my boyfriend too." He gently rolled them over so he could kiss Kyle, reveling in the languorous movement of his boyfriend's warm lips against his own for a long moment. He then pulled back to prop himself up on his side, wanting to say something. They hadn't talked about much earlier except that they both wanted to be together and Tom didn't want Kyle to think that he was just going to get tired of the other man and dump him in a few months, despite what his history would suggest. Looking Kyle steadily in the eyes he observed softly, "I know I don't have the best record with relationships. I think that you probably knew that even before we got together. I know you mentioned that you were a little star-struck at first so I suspect you know a little more about my past than I've actually said. And I..."

Kyle frowned, a line creeping between his eyes as worry wormed through them and he stopped Tom talking by reaching out to run his hand down his boyfriend's arm and tangle their fingers together. The way he felt about Tom was incredibly intense, like nothing he'd felt before. When he was with Tom, it was like the rest of the world simply melted away. Things were still so new and he felt like he wasn't supposed to say too much just because of that. Maybe if he hadn't nearly died, if Tom hadn't actually believed he'd died then he would have held back more. But all Kyle could only think about was that it wasn't fair to Tom if he didn't know that Kyle cared. Life was unpredictable and Kyle wanted to be sure that no matter what, the people he cared about didn't have a reason to doubt his feelings. His family and Jimmy knew he loved them, that was fine, but Tom... He looked intently into Tom's bewitching blue irises, letting Tom read his emotion through unguarded eyes. "Wait, Tom, you know that I'm not some star-struck fan now, right? Yes, I'm a fan of your work, and yes, I did kind of have a bit of a celebrity crush on you as a teenager, but I really like you. I care about you. Just you, not some impossibly perfect dream that I've mashed together from your interviews and your musicals. Just you, Tom, the amazing man I've been getting to know over the last few weeks."

Tom squeezed the younger man's hand gently before responding. "Kyle, I do know that. No, I wouldn't want a star-struck fan for a boyfriend who hung on my every word, but you're not like that. I would have never agreed to date if I hadn't believed that you were interested in me, not my success or money or whatever else." He shook his head sharply before continuing earnestly. "I don't care that you had a mild crush on whomever you imagined I was when you were a teenager. It doesn't bother me that you were a fan of my work and knew a little about me before we met; I want people to enjoy my work and I'm glad you like it. Kyle, I trust you, so I believe you when you tell me that you moved past star-struck quickly once we started to get to know one another. And all I care about is how you feel about me now." He stopped speaking for a moment to gather his thoughts, rubbing his thumb across their interlocked knuckles absentmindedly."Um, Julia and I are well known in Broadway circles. It's incredible that I get to do what I love for a living, but my success does have its downside. For the last few years, pretty much all potential dates have known who I was or at least known some of my work. Unless they weren't Broadway fans, of course." He twisted his lips, looking away in remembrance. "Yes, it was weird at first, but I've adjusted." Tom shot his eyes back to his lover's, speaking with emotionally laden words. "Kyle, you love Broadway and I love that we have that in common. I love that we're going to be able to go to the theatre all the time and I'm not going to feel like you're just tagging along to humour me. I love that you actually know what it's like to write a Broadway show, that you understand just how insane and how rewarding it can be." He grinned playfully at Kyle. "A soon to be hit Broadway show, I'm sure. I love that you understand that sometimes inspiration strikes in the middle of the night and you just have to get up and start working on it while it's clear in your mind. Kyle, I just... I love that I can share that part of my life with you, that it's not just some passionate interest of mine that you can respect but you don't actually understand."

Seeing that Tom wasn't finished yet, Kyle kept his response simple, whispering "I do too." He stared dazedly into his lover's eyes, warmth curling around his spine at Tom's trust and the glimpse he'd offered of their future.

Tom pressed his lips to Kyle's briefly before heaving a deep breath and continuing to speak seriously. "But what I was trying to say before all of that was that I think you should know why I don't have the best history with relationships; why I always found some excuse to end things after a few months if he hadn't ended it first. My past relationships, they just never felt quite right, for one reason or another something didn't quite fit. When it didn't feel right, there just didn't seem to be much point in staying." He shrugged slightly before bringing his hand up to sweep across Kyle's cheek and breathing out "It's different with you. I want you to know that."

Kyle tugged him down close until their breaths ghosted over one another's lips and their eyes were locked onto each other before whispering "It's different for me too." He then captured Tom's lips in his own in a soft kiss. Soon needing more than the light brushing nature of the exquisitely gentle kiss, Kyle parted his lips, sliding his tongue across Tom's and changing the momentum of the kiss to insistently passionate in the space of a heartbeat.

After a few minutes Tom groaned, pulling away and flopping onto his back next to Kyle. Breathing raggedly, he turned his head to look at Kyle and remarked "You're going to drive me insane, Kyle. I know what the doctor said, "nothing strenuous" and I know that includes no sex. You're already wincing when you breathe and I don't want to hurt you. We have to stop."

Kyle reached out to grab Tom's hand. "Tom, I know we have to, but I really don't want to stop."

Having caught his breath, Tom moved back to Kyle, leaning down so his face hovered over his lover's and he could count every fleck in Kyle's gorgeous eyes. He stayed there for a long moment without speaking, just enjoying being close to the man he loved. "Neither do I. But this could really hurt you and I'm not willing to risk that. You'll get better and then we can do whatever we want. "

Kyle breathed out "I'm looking forward to that."

Tom grinned brightly at him. "Me too. But seriously, I just want you to feel better."

Kyle had to look away before he kissed Tom again despite his injuries. "Okay, we should probably change the subject."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." Tom leaned back to prop his head up on his elbow, taking a moment to think. "Um... Oh, I think I've made it clear that it doesn't bother me that you knew a little about me before we met, but I am curious about something. I know you've been to some of my musicals in the past and I wanted to ask: did you ever meet me before the Ronnie Moore concert? At a stage door or something?"

"No, I never did. I met Julia once though, nearly 10 years ago." Kyle's cheeks rapidly acquired a soft pink tinge. "I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I even have an autographed Playbill from that meeting. It's part of my failed musicals collection."

Tom raised his eyebrows over a quick grin. "I definitely want to hear that story."

With a faintly abashed sigh, Kyle divulged the story. "Right, so, I was 15, I'd just got my first job and I suddenly had my own money. I'd decided that even though I was going to be responsible and save half of it for the future, I wanted to have some fun too. I'd always loved Broadway and I decided to start a Playbill collection. So, anyway, I was in New York for the weekend and I had the Playbill for this Houston and Levitt show running Off-Broadway and I waited at the stage door and I managed to get Julia to sign it. Umm, you weren't there that night, if you were wondering, which I was upset about at the time but I'm really glad about now because it makes this story slightly less embarrassing."

Tom chuckled at Kyle's faint blush, envisaging a teenage Kyle eagerly waiting at the stage door, his blue eyes sparkling with his Playbill in hand. He wondered with a grin if Julia would remember meeting a young Kyle. Probably not, he thought to himself. They'd met a lot of fans. Still, he'd ask. She might remember him if something about the meeting had stood out for her.

"Anyway, I was so excited I was practically bouncing on the spot. It was really cold, which was part of it, but my grandmother had taken me to see Three on a Match the year before as a birthday present so I already liked Houston and Levitt. Julia was really sweet; she took a couple of minutes to talk to me instead of just signing it and moving on to the next person. When I said I wanted to be a Broadway writer, she encouraged me to keep writing and said that maybe she'd be sitting in the audience to watch one of my musicals someday. I know she was just being nice to a fan, but it meant something to me. Unfortunately, that show didn't make it Broadway so all I had was an autographed playbill from a failed Broadway musical by a writing team that I really liked. So I decided that I'd do something a bit different and collect playbills from failed Broadway musicals instead of successful ones."

Tom smiled at him, charmed by the sweet story. "I'd wondered why you'd decided to start a failed musical collection."

Kyle grinned back. "I did tell you that I was a fan of Houston and Levitt's work."

Tom hummed "Mmm, so you did. And I'm sure that I'll be a fan of Bishop and Collins too, um, once I actually see Hit List that is. I was going to surprise you a couple of days ago. I even bought a ticket but then your accident happened and I didn't have the chance."

Kyle stared up at Tom in delight, murmuring "You were going to surprise me?"

Tom nodded, raising his hand to run over Kyle's cheek and saying tenderly "Yes, I was. I thought you might like the surprise and I wanted to see your work. No one knew about us so I was planning on surprising you with my new knowledge about your musical when we met up again."

Kyle returned Tom's gesture, cupping his boyfriend's cheek and replying "I would have liked that." He then tugged Tom into a lingering kiss, enjoying the way it made the world tilt on its axis until he could hardly breathe and Tom pulled away.

Tom sighed and motioned his head toward the closed bedroom door before commenting quietly, "I think I just heard someone knock on the front door. That probably means someone's here to see you and we're going to get interrupted in a minute. But I should really go check in case it's for me."

Kyle smiled at him as Tom slipped out of bed, observing softly "This was nice."

Tom replied warmly "Yes, it was," pressing a final light kiss to Kyle's lips and smoothing back his lover's hair before straightening and heading through the door to greet the visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hello to my wonderful readers, thank you all for being so patient waiting for this next chapter and for the kudos! I really appreciate hearing from you and I'm so sorry for the delay! (I was travelling for a couple of weeks early last month and unfortunately only a couple of days after I got back, I came down with the flu. I must have picked it up at the airport or on the flight.) I'm doing better now but I still have to take it easy and I'm finding writing while still feeling unwell is definitely slower than I'd prefer. Because of that, some of you might have noticed this chapter is shorter than normal. This part was only originally planned to be half a chapter, but the other part isn't finished yet and I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer. So I hope you enjoyed it! Cheers, Rose.


	16. Appointments and Realisations

Tom padded out into his living room to see Jimmy quietly conversing with Marie and Chris. The soft thud of his footfalls quickly elicited the attention of all three and Marie asked how Kyle was doing.

Tom smiled, his eyes crinkling happily as he replied "He's doing great. He's feeling much better after having a rest." Half turning toward Jimmy, Tom gestured in the direction of his bedroom. "Hi. He's awake if you want to go talk to him."

Jimmy clapped Tom on the shoulder, replying "Thanks, man" as he made a beeline for Kyle. Jimmy had come to Tom's apartment desperately needing to talk to his best friend about his appointment with a psychiatrist that morning. But now he felt guilty. Looking closely at Tom as he stepped past him, it was clear that the older man had just rolled out of bed, all rumpled clothes and languid movement. That meant that Kyle had most likely been getting some much needed rest when Jimmy barged in and woke him up. Trudging through Tom's corridor, Jimmy reflected that even when he tried to do the right thing, like going to the appointment alone, he still managed to mess things up. Why couldn't he ever seem to do anything right? He knew that if he'd asked, Kyle would have tried to come despite his injuries; Kyle was always there for him and this wouldn't be any different. But Jimmy had been trying not to be selfish and so had avoided dragging Kyle to an appointment straight out of the hospital. Jimmy vividly remembered how much pain Kyle had been in when simply trying to sit up at the hospital and he hadn't wanted to hurt Kyle further. Kyle was in no shape to be traipsing around the city just because Jimmy needed someone to hold his hand. But he still selfishly wished he'd asked Kyle anyway. Going alone had meant he'd spent the entire time feeling uncomfortable, unsure where to begin after years of burying everything so deep he'd blocked half of it out. He wanted to get better and Kyle seemed sure that talking about it with someone trained to know what to do would help, but he had no idea how to start. The shrink had seemed nice enough but Jimmy had trouble talking about how messed up he was to a complete stranger. He'd felt like if Kyle had been there, Kyle who knew the worst of what he'd done and who still loved him, he might have been able to say more. At least the doctor hadn't seemed too concerned at his reticence, simply saying that it would take time and that she was glad he'd made the decision to wrest control of his life back and begin to sort through his problems. And Jimmy had been grateful that she'd said it would be fine to bring Kyle along to his next appointment in a few days.

With a sigh, Jimmy plastered a neutral expression on his face and knocked on the bedroom door, calling out in greeting. He waited until he was invited in before walking into Tom's bedroom, the door clicking shut behind him as his eyes surveyed Kyle's features. Kyle looked happy, his eyes shining brightly, but the circles underneath screamed his need for more rest. And of course, like the idiot he was, Jimmy had blundered in and woken him up. Guilt clawing at him, Jimmy carefully articulated "Hi Kyle. I'm sorry that I woke you."

Kyle bit his lip, an irrepressible grin tugging up the sides of his captured mouth before he replied, the words spilling out of his mouth rapidly. "Hi Jimmy. It's fine, really, we uh, Tom and I weren't exactly sleeping when you knocked."

Jimmy grinned back at him, relief rushing through him at the realisation that maybe he hadn't screwed up this time. Kyle's exuberant response then carried him to a seemingly logical conclusion and he joked "Good for you, man." Jimmy then frowned, his mind flipping back to concern. "Wait, how do you even have sex with cracked ribs? Wouldn't it hurt too much? Because if he hurt you I'll..."

Kyle cut him off mid sentence. "Jimmy, we were only kissing. Fantastic kissing, but just kissing." The light in his eyes dimmed slightly as he sighed. "As much as we want to, I can't do anything strenuous until my ribs heal a bit more. It's frustrating because it's so, so good with him but Tom understands and he isn't going to hurt me."

Jimmy had to check. "And Tom's okay with that? Waiting?"

Kyle replied calmly even though he felt the reiteration shouldn't have been necessary. "Yes, Jimmy, Tom is fine with it. If anything he's more patient than I am."

Jimmy nodded slowly, still not entirely sure that he should be trusting Tom with his brother. "Okay, but Kyle, doesn't it bother you that he's taking care of everything? How can you be sure that he's not trying to control you? I mean, he was constantly at the hospital and now you're living with him and he invited your parents too. You're lying in his bed and you're wearing his clothes. And he was clearly in bed with you, his rumpled sweatpants and ruffled hair gave that away. Don't you find it creepy that he was probably lying there and watching you sleep?"

Kyle responded with fond exasperation at Jimmy's persistence. "Jimmy, I know that you don't know him and you're worried about me but Tom's a great guy. He wouldn't try to control me and as for watching me sleep, well... He probably was, but I need a lot more sleep than normal right now. Tom doesn't." He shrugged, a faint smile lingering on his lips. "I'm not sure if Tom slept at all, but he stayed with me because he cares about me and I wanted him to. I asked him to. And I doubt he found staring at his monotone bedroom ceiling for a couple of hours to be particularly entertaining, so yeah, he probably was watching me sleep at least some of the time. I don't mind." Kyle grinned, closing his eyelids to watch a memory play out in his mind. "He fell asleep before I did Bombshell's opening night and I watched him for a little while until I drifted off myself. I couldn't quite believe what had happened so watching him sleep, seeing him so unguarded and content... that reassured me he was real." His heart skitttered for a moment as the emotion he'd felt at that moment washed back over him. Thinking of everything that had happened since then, Kyle mutttered to himself "After my accident, I'd be surprised if he didn't have to reassure himself that I'm real sometimes too."

Opening his eyes and shooting Jimmy an intent look, Kyle returned to the present and focused on what his best friend needed to hear. "Look Jimmy, I can barely walk to the bathroom by myself; I need someone to take care of me right now." An enchanted smile drifted over his features as he continued talking. "Tom's been really great; he's been helping me and making sure I'm okay. At the hospital he talked to me and held me and he was always there when I woke up. Every single time. He was so calm and patient and he didn't push me on anything even though he was taking care of me and neither of us had any idea what we were. Even after everything, he still would have let me walk away from him if I'd believed it would have made me happy." He shook his head faintly in disbelief. "Tom wasn't even mad at me for dragging him into the whole Blake mess. He's been completely neglecting Bombshell too, the show that he loves and has spent the last year and a half of his life working on! Thankfully his stage manager is great and she has copious notes to run from so I'm sure everything's fine, but I know that he would have wanted to be there. He's here instead because of me. So no, I'm not worried that he wants to hurt me or control me. He's proved that he cares about me. I care about him too." Kyle stared down at the blankets, the sides of his lips twitching up again. "And, uh, back to your original point, he's actually been the one who keeps cooling things down so that we don't go too far while I'm still healing. I mostly want to ignore the medical advice and just jump him. So please stop worrying. Tom wants to help me get better. Trust me."

Jimmy wasn't absolutely convinced about Tom yet but he wasn't willing to continue and imply he didn't trust Kyle. As for the rest of what Kyle had said, Jimmy grimaced at the mental images that it had evoked, trying to eject them from his mind as he shook his head. Attempting to focus on the fact that Kyle was obviously happy with Tom, he remarked "Okay, man, I'm glad you're happy but I think of you like my brother. I really don't need to know any details about your sex life."

Kyle grinned, looking entirely unapologetic as he spoke. "Sorry. You asked. By the way, I've heard much worse from you about girls."

Jimmy simply shrugged unrepentantly. That was true but it wasn't important and there was something else he wanted to discuss. "Kyle... I know I hurt you but I could have helped. You're my best friend; you didn't have to ask Tom to take care of you." He was certain Kyle would have helped him if the situations were reversed and he was hurt at the thought that Kyle hadn't felt he could trust Jimmy enough.

Kyle's amusement ebbed away to seriousness at Jimmy's words. "Thank you for the offer Jimmy, but I want you to focus on you getting better right now. I didn't want you to have to worry about taking care of me too. I'll be fine; Tom's wonderful. You just worry about yourself. That's the best way you can help me right now, okay? I'll still be here and I'm not replacing you. You're my best friend, he's my boyfriend, I promise that there's plenty of room for both of you in my life." Gesturing for Jimmy to sit down on the edge of the bed, Kyle hugged Jimmy as tightly as he could manage.

Jimmy pulled away after a couple of minutes, soothed by Kyle's words and curious about something he'd mentioned. Jimmy was sure that Kyle and Tom hadn't been official yesterday. "Boyfriend?"

Kyle's eyes widened as he nodded eagerly. "Oh, yeah, I haven't told you about that yet." Elation danced through his eyes as he imparted "Tom said yes when I asked him this morning."

Slightly surprised, Jimmy enquired, "You asked him? Really? I figured he'd be the one to make the first move."

"Uh, yeah, well technically I asked but he'd made his feelings clear beforehand." Kyle decided against changing the subject after Jimmy's nod of understanding. Kyle wanted to continue speaking about Tom; he wanted to talk to someone and his best friend had always been his preferred choice. He'd told Jimmy that he could forgive him for his actions in the bar when he'd betrayed Kyle's confidence so he had to trust that Jimmy wouldn't do it again. Fixing their friendship wasn't solely up to Jimmy; if Kyle wanted them to get back to the strong friendship that he had always loved and cherished he had to make a concerted effort too. "I want to date him. Uh, I've been trying not to make any rash conclusions about how I feel about him these past few days. But even though it's new, it feels different with him than with any guy I've dated in the past. We just... I don't know, I just feel comfortable with him, it feels very right, like he's this integral part of my life that I didn't even know I was missing." He looked up at Jimmy seriously, his eyes distant with internal reflection. "If I had to put a label to my feelings Jimmy, I don't think I could use anything less than falling in love." His eyes turned to the sheets, rubbing his hand from side to side across the warm blanket weave as recognition crashed into his awareness like a bolt of lightening. A wild smile spread over his features and he mumbled to himself softly. "No, not falling in love with him. I am in love with him." Kyle tilted his gaze back to Jimmy as he continued, louder this time. "Oh my God, I'm in love with Tom Levitt!"

Smiling brightly, Jimmy drawled teasingly "Yep, you've been in love with him for nearly 10 years now. Congratulations on finally figuring that out. Remind me again, why did I trust you to write the book for our musical?"

Kyle swatted at his best friend, clarifying with a laugh "Jimmy! I'm serious. I've never felt like this. I can't... I can't even think straight around him. He constantly pulls my focus, even when he's not trying or when he's not in the same room." He shook his head slightly, "And yes, I know that I'm lying in his bed, in his clothes and in his apartment, completely surrounded by him. Thinking of him wouldn't be strange." A soft smile swept across his lips, tilting up the corners of his eyes. "But I felt like this before my accident. It's why I just couldn't stay away from Tom. Because I love him." He finished with a sappy smile, allowing his memories to waft him into a Tom-induced daze with the warm abandon of someone who had just realised they were in love.

Kyle only permitted himself a couple of minutes to revel in the new emotion before snapping his focus back to Jimmy, who had been supposed to have his first meeting with the psychiatrist today. He'd reiterated his offer to attend, but Jimmy had said something about how he needed to prove to himself that he could go without Kyle's assistance. Kyle hadn't really believed him but Jimmy had been clear, so what had he been supposed to do? They wouldn't be able to mend their friendship if they couldn't take each other at their word. Kyle had been exhausted anyway and had welcomed the reprieve. "Now, enough stalling, how did your appointment go this morning? You did go, right? I was worried about you, especially when you wouldn't let me go with you."

"Yes, I went. You needed to rest. You just got out of the hospital! You nearly died!" Jimmy was still unable to mention that without his voice cracking.

Kyle returned soberly, "I would still have gone with you."

"I know. That's exactly why I couldn't ask you. You've been putting me first since we were kids." Jimmy looked searchingly into his best friends eyes as he spoke with earnest animation. "And I'm sorry, so sorry, that it took you dying to understand how wrong it was that I didn't do the same."

Kyle reached out to him again "Thank you, Jimmy, it means a lot that you've realised that. We'll figure this out, okay Jimmy?" He nudged Jimmy's chin up to meet his eyes and offered "Do you want me to go with you next time?"

"Yeah, I do. I think it would be better if you were there and she said it would be fine. It didn't go well. It was horrible. She was nice enough but I just didn't know how I was supposed to start talking about what my Dad did to me or how I left a teenage girl to die when I knew she'd done too much. What kind of person does that?"

Kyle looked him straight in the eye, enunciating each word clearly. "A scared kid, Jimmy. That's what you were. Technically an adult but all of 19 years old. You're not the first terrified kid to make a mistake when it comes to drugs and someone's health. You won't be the last. As tragic as it is, it happens all the time." He sighed. "Jimmy, I know how guilty you feel about this. I've seen it. I know that it keeps you up at night; I know you have nightmares about her. I know you think you're a terrible person because you left her lying there, that you don't deserve to be happy because of that." He shook his head firmly. "And I'm not going to pretend that it was the right thing to do. It wasn't. But, Jimmy, you were young, scared and drugged out of your mind. You screwed up. That doesn't make you a terrible person; that doesn't make you a monster. All it makes you is someone who made a mistake. Jimmy, I've told you this before and I don't know how to get you to believe me. Look, you were at a party, right? People everywhere. So there's a pretty good chance someone else found her and she got the help she needed. You've always refused to tell me her name so I've never been able to try and find out for you." A pleading note crept into his tone. "Let me help, let's figure out how bad this is. Then you can talk to a lawyer and work out the best thing for you to do." He grabbed Jimmy's hand for a moment, clasping tightly for a long moment. "Just promise me that you won't do anything stupid before we know, like running off into a police station and turning yourself in without speaking to a lawyer first. I'm not going to stop you if that's what you feel have to do to make this right but please promise me you'll get some legal advice." His eyes slid away from Jimmy's, staring blindly at the wall as he thought rapidly through the situation. "I think we'll need to fix it before you can be paid royalties for Hit List anyway. And believe me, you don't want to miss out on those. They're pretty lucrative and if Hit List does well, getting a new place with actual bedrooms won't be a problem. Nor will paying back Derek. I know Manhattan Theatre Workshop is currently paying you cash and 'Jimmy Collins' has no social security number. If you don't want to use your father's name, then you can legally change your name to Jimmy Collins, or just use it as a pen name if you don't want to go that far. Jimmy, if we fix it now you can easily claim that Collins is just your nom de plume and there won't be any legal issues or unfortunate questions... So please, let me help you find her and sort out what to do so that you don't have to keep hiding for the rest of your life."

Jimmy took a deep breath. He could do this. He loved Kyle. He trusted Kyle. Holding those thoughts on a loop inside his head, Jimmy breathed out "Her name was Emily. I never got her last name. I tried to find her so many times but without her last name..." He shuddered.

Warmth welling up in him at Jimmy finally trusting him with that information and eager to try and find out what had happened to the girl that had haunted his best friend for more than five years, Kyle reached out to hug him again, murmuring earnestly "Thank you, Jimmy. Thank you for trusting me. We'll find her."

Breaking away after a few minutes and a few escaped tears he'd unsuccessfully tried to fight, Jimmy replied quietly "Okay."

"I really hope we can figure this out, Jimmy, all of it. Emily, and you, and us. I meant what I said about missing my best friend and I'd love to have him back." He nudged Jimmy affectionately, deciding he'd covered everything he'd wanted to for now and that it was time to lighten the moment. "Who else would I tell that I was in love with the composer of a rival Broadway show?"

Jimmy grimaced "Isn't that going to get complicated? Oh, and the composer himself? You could always tell him."

Kyle grinned at him "I will, when it's the right time. We'll be fine, I love his show, if me nearly dying isn't going to tear us apart then I'm sure we can navigate through a little competition in awards season. Besides, Bombshell is incredible; it deserves to win and so does he. There's lots of other great musicals around this season too and Hit List probably won't be nominated anyway. It's our first musical; I'm amazed we even made it to Broadway! I just want to enjoy the experience." He added a mischievous tilt to his grin. "And, you know, enjoy him."

Jimmy laughed in the midst of shaking his head. "Yeah, I still don't want to hear that. But good for you."

Kyle laughed joyfully, his hand covering his ribs to give them the extra support he needed. Jimmy was finally making a serious, multifaceted attempt to sort things out. And now he had a name. It wasn't much but Jimmy had always refused before. Things were looking up as far as his best friend was concerned. Straining his ears, Kyle could just make out the faint timbre of Tom's voice mingling with those of his parents out in the living room. Apparently things were looking up as far as everyone was concerned. And right at that moment, Kyle couldn't be happier.


	17. An update on Hit List

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: So, I finally managed to find time to update again — hello to my wonderful readers! I think I should probably stop apologising for the delays and just say even if it takes me a while to update when life is crazy for some reason or other, I promise that I'll finish the story! After all, I got distracted recently and wrote half the epilogue (for when we get up to that part... there's still a lot of story between now and then to transfer onto the page.) Okay, I was also asked to please have Kyle say "Mom" instead of "Mum" since that is of course what he would say, even though the narrative parts of the story use British rather than American spelling. I'll be going back and changing it to Mom, though I'm going to leave the rest of the British spelling intact since it would be an insane amount of work for me to change that! (And it looks correct to me as is anyway :-) So, as always, I hope you enjoy the chapter and if you have a moment, feedback is definitely appreciated, whether you love it, hate it, something in-between or you just want to ask me a question about the story. Well, that's all so please enjoy! Cheers, Rose.

After Jimmy had left, Marie popped her head through the door to Tom's bedroom to ask "Kyle, do you feel up to coming out to the living room for a little while and having some lunch? I can bring a plate in here if you'd prefer but you do need to try and eat something, you're far too skinny after being in the hospital. I worry about you honey."

Kyle nodded as he suppressed a wry smile. He definitely knew she worried about him. It would probably be best not to mention that though. After all she was right, he had noticed he'd lost a few pounds. It wasn't unexpected considering the week he'd had but he really should try eat something. "Sure, I'm not really hungry but I'll come out and have something anyway." As he went to sit up Kyle requested "Would you give me a hand to get up, please Mom?"

Marie bustled over immediately to help her son to sit up and clamber out of bed without putting too much stress on his ribs or his stitches. When he was standing she looked down the hem of his pyjama pants with a quick grin, bending down to roll them up as she spoke. "I think these are a little big for you honey. Your Dad and I picked up some things from your apartment if you want to change into something more Kyle-sized."

Kyle grinned back. "I'm good for now. Thanks for going by my apartment and picking up some things for me."

"You're welcome. I'll bring the bag in here for later." Marie slid her arm around his back to support him and enquired, "Okay, ready?"

Kyle quickly responded "Yep" before focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and holding on to his mother for balance as he walked out to Tom's living room. Needing assistance for such a simple task Kyle couldn't help but reflect on his injuries. It had been nearly week since his accident and he'd been well enough to be released from the hospital but he definitely still needed time to recover. His ribs were feeling a little better but it still hurt every time they moved. That basically meant it still hurt just to breathe, let alone twist or bend or make any sharp movements. Kyle frowned tightly, his eyes steadily watching the floor. Unfortunately since his balance was still off, that happened a lot. Whenever he twisted or moved too rapidly it also pulled at his stitches from where he'd had to have emergency surgery to fix his ruptured spleen. Apparently he'd been lucky that the doctors had been able to stitch it up and stop the bleeding instead of having to remove it. So he'd recover fully, it would just take time. Kyle sighed. More time than he'd like. There wasn't anything he could do about that except be patient. The doctor had explained everything and said he should feel a little better day-by-day and so far, she was right. His mild concussion was fine now and the cut on the side of his head from where he'd hit it when he'd fallen was healing well too. He'd only needed a couple of stitches in it and Kyle was glad that the scar it would leave would be almost completely hidden by his hair. His arm felt much better too, the cast was awkward and he had to do everything one-handed but his arm didn't hurt any more. That was definitely an improvement and he trusted the doctors that he would slowly continue to improve. Kyle smiled slightly to himself as he was ensconced on the living room couch. At least he had people that he loved to help him throughout the process. His smile widened as his eyes locked onto his boyfriend's. Tom had stepped out of the kitchen carrying a plate with a couple of sandwiches and headed directly over to sit beside him.

Tom shot a meaningful glance at Kyle's broken arm and remarked "You said you weren't very hungry earlier and I thought you might appreciate being able to eat one handed. It's just chicken and salad. Uh, I hope that's okay. I can make something else if you want."

Kyle quickly replied "No, this looks great, Tom. Thanks." His boyfriend was close enough that his warm thigh pressed against Kyle's own, sending a bolt of awareness rushing through Kyle as Tom balanced the plate precariously between them before resting his hand on Kyle's thigh. Kyle had loved Tom's quiet displays of affection this past week, no matter who else was there. It was such a contrast from their first night together. Then they'd casually walked a safe, socially acceptable distance apart on their way out of Bombshell's opening night, not touching as they'd tried not to alert anyone they were heading home together. It had been the sensible thing to do at the time since neither of them knew if it would be more than a drunken hook-up but it wasn't what Kyle wanted now they were together. They weren't exactly in public at the moment, only his parents were around but Kyle still loved that Tom hadn't thought at all about where to sit before tucking in close, as though being with Kyle was the most natural thing in the world. Tom hadn't minded displaying his affection at the hospital but Kyle knew that situation was out of the ordinary and everyone's emotions were running a little out of control. Right now, sitting in Tom's apartment was perfectly ordinary and Kyle hoped it was a sign of how things would be in their future. They were still so new and he wasn't sure quite what to expect; how Tom would react in particular situations. They both knew they'd have to face media speculation about their relationship soon and Kyle loved that Tom had shown no inclination to hide what they had together. Kyle turned to kiss Tom softly as his parents wandered in from the kitchen bearing their own sandwiches. Being affectionate in front of his parents wasn't a big deal but he felt like kissing Tom just then. So he did.

Chris sat down on the opposite couch and set his own plate off to the side on the burnished wood coffee table for a minute. He looked straight at Kyle and asked "So, how's Jimmy? He didn't look all that well at the hospital or today."

Kyle sighed. "Jimmy's not great. He's a bit of a mess but he's trying to get his life in order." He cast a quick glance to his Mom. "You were right before that he had been using again but he seems to really be fighting hard this time. He's getting professional help. He managed to persuade Derek to give him one more chance and let him have his job back by telling him he was seeing a psychiatrist. He's being more open with me and I'll need to do some research but I think I might even be able to fix the thing that's kept him running for five long years. So I think he's doing okay right now. I can't be sure about tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. He's going to have to keep fighting for a long time." He took a deep breath, pursing his lips tightly and staring down at the floor, his thoughts miles away with his best friend. "But I'm hopeful."

Chris nodded, accepting Kyle's words at face value. He'd heard that hope in Kyle's voice before but maybe this would be different. Professional help was exactly what Jimmy needed. Besides if being fired and kicked out by his best friend and then the shock and grief from Kyle's accident weren't enough to shake Jimmy back into line then Chris doubted Jimmy would get better for a long, long time. If ever. So for everyone's sake, Chris desperately hoped it would be enough. "Okay then. I really hope he manages to get better this time. Kyle, would you please let us know if there's anything we can do to help you or him through this? We spent so much time with him when the two of you were growing up; you know that we love him and we want to see him do well." He continued sadly "We'd ask him ourselves but he hasn't believed that we actually care about him since the problems with his family began."

Kyle sighed deeply, slumping down into his seat a little in helplessness. "Yeah. He doesn't trust easily; he likes to keep everyone at a safe distance where they can't hurt him. Or where he can at least pretend they can't hurt him. I'm pretty sure he thinks you two only act as though you want to know how he's doing because you love me and he's my best friend, not because you actually care about him as a person in his own right. I've told him that's not true but I don't think he actually believes me. As for helping him, I don't think there's much you can do right now, he really needs to do most of the work himself. We're all mostly stuck on the sidelines just trying to give him as much support as he'll allow. I can't think of anything else I need help with right now either. But thank you and yes, I'll let you know if I come up with anything." He smiled gratefully at his parents. It was always nice to have their unwavering support in a difficult situation, even if there wasn't anything tangible they could do.

They sat quietly for a few minutes, munching away at their respective sandwiches before Chris chimed in again, curiosity colouring his voice as he changed the subject. "So, what's the plan for Hit List? Obviously you're opening on Broadway soon but I haven't heard much more. What's going on?"

Just the thought of Hit List opening on Broadway brought an irrepressible to Kyle's face. His musical on Broadway! A lifetime dream realised. Kyle allowed himself a few moments of delighted reflection, justifiably proud of himself and uncaring of the silly grin on his face. Even after snapping his mind back to the question he'd been asked and responding to his father with the information Jimmy had passed on, Kyle couldn't clear the eddying excitement from his eyes. "We'll be starting previews later this week and then opening on the 20th."

A confused frown appearing between her eyebrows, Marie questioned "So soon? But I thought it usually took longer than that to move a new musical to Broadway."

His eyes bright, Kyle nodded "It usually does. Jerry Rand is pouring money into Hit List to move things along quickly."

Still confused, Marie continued "Why would he do that?"

Tom and Kyle chorused together "The Tony Awards." Kyle grinned at his boyfriend's comprehension and dropped his hand into his lap, entwining it with Tom's. Tom was right, it was nice to be dating someone who shared his passion for Broadway and understood things like that without an explanation. Kyle didn't mind explaining things to his parents, they were genuinely interested and he would have been okay with explaining things to a boyfriend too. He had been in the past. But Kyle loved that with Tom he didn't have to. For his parent's sake however, he'd better continue. "It's already the 10th of April and we have to be open before the 25th to be eligible for the awards this year. Apparently Jerry Rand thinks we have a shot at winning some Tonys, or at least picking up some nominations so he's rushing to get us open in time. Since the Manhattan Theatre Workshop's budget was pretty limited we were using simple sets and thankfully it hasn't taken long to replicate them. According to Jimmy, the design team should be putting the finishing touches on the new sets this afternoon. Derek gave everyone who wasn't needed for that the day off to rest since it's going to be a crazy couple of weeks. We're rehearsing tomorrow so the cast can get used to the new stage and then we'll jump straight into a tech rehearsal the following day. Derek wants to see how Hit List plays on the new stage before making changes in previews. After tech it will be the invited dress and finally a week of previews from the 14th. That will let us open Saturday the 20th and just creep into contention for the awards. At least in terms of eligibility." Kyle shrugged slightly "It will be insane getting everything done in time, for the cast to get used to the new, bigger stage and for us to work out what changes need to be made and make them, but it's really exciting!" The corners of his lips twitched up. "I still can't quite believe my musical is going to Broadway! I don't think we'll actually win many awards but it would be amazing if we can just pick up a couple of nominations. Luckily for me, it also gives me a few days to rest. We'll make changes in previews and obviously I need to be there for that but right now, I have a little time." Kyle knew that there were probably still some people from the Hit List cast and crew that wanted to see him and he felt guilty about not going in to see them but he really had to focus on getting better. It wouldn't be useful if he were still too unsteady on his feet to walk the distance between the jarring car ride and the theatre door, let alone actually walk around inside. Kyle also knew that if it had been someone else, he wouldn't expect to see them back at work yet and it really was time he started applying those expectations to himself. Right now he had to prioritise his health so he could be there when Hit List really needed him.

"I'm glad to hear you're taking a little more time Kyle. It'd good to see you thinking about yourself for once. You're so passionate about your work I half expected you'd be back at the theatre tomorrow morning, fresh from the hospital!" Marie really was pleased to see her son taking care of himself. It would do him a world of good to think about himself first once in a while.

Kyle looked down in faint embarrassment. "Well, I thought about it. But this is the best thing for me. As much as I want to be there every step of the way, we only really need a book writer for previews. According to my doctor I'm not really supposed to be doing anything yet apart from resting. So I'm going to take the time off while I can. It'll be a busy few weeks. Potentially the next few months, I guess, with award season coming up."

Slipping his hand out of Kyle's, Tom lifted his plate before standing. He quickly gathered Marie's and Chris' plates too and then spoke, "Yes, it will be, but please let someone know if you need time off to rest. They'll figure something out to cover your absence. You've got a great team, as long as you're there to come up with the ideas everyone else can figure out how to implement them. You're right that you have a little time; they really don't need the book writer for final rehearsals and tech. Julia wasn't at tech in Boston or Broadway with Bomshell and it really wasn't an issue. Uh, apart from the scene I tried to write to cover the extra time we needed for a costume change." Tom smiled wryly. "That proved I'm really not a writer. Derek stopped it half way through to stop the assault on his senses and I really couldn't blame him. It was terrible. But that was Boston and we were trying to fix a lot of issues. You've already ironed out most of the problems downtown so I don't think you'll have too many changes to make. And Kyle, for the record, I think you're wrong about Hit List not winning anything. I think you're going to give Bombshell a good run for our money!"Tom leaned down to plant a quick kiss onto Kyle's lips. "You deserve it."

Kyle playfully glared at him. "You haven't even seen Hit List! I'm not going to believe my boyfriend telling me my musical deserves to win any awards until he's at least seen it!"

Tom turned back to him and grinned as he held up his hands as placatingly as he could manage whilst holding plates aloft. From the laughter sparkling in Kyle's eyes Tom figured the effect was more ridiculous than convincing. Good, he wasn't trying to be serious. "Uh, okay, okay I'll wait until I've seen it to tell you it's a fantastic musical deserving of much acclaim. Even though you've told me about it and it sounds wonderful. Even though you've already got the whole city talking about it and Julia, Jerry and Derek convinced. Even though Eileen's worried about how good it is and key critics are raving about it. But no, I'll wait." Tom pressed his lips together, fighting a grin as he continued. "Maybe I should wait until opening night and then tell you that it's the best Broadway musical I have ever seen. That might work."

A peal of laugher bubbled out from Kyle even as his eyes darkened from the memories flashing through his mind. He remembered exactly what had happened after he'd said that and it had been an incredible night. That connection with Tom... Kyle snapped his mind away from those memories. They couldn't be together like that until he was feeling a little better and besides, they really couldn't talk about that with his parents in the room. Instead he responded lightly to the rest of Tom's comments. "I'm not sure I'll believe it's the best you've ever seen. It is my first try after all. Besides, you'd have to be careful..." He trailed off with amusement dancing in his eyes.

Tom raised his eyebrows. "Oh, really? Why is that? It seems like a perfectly reasonable compliment to give someone."

"Well... you might be accused of plagiarism. And we wouldn't want that."

Tom joined his boyfriend in laughter as he shook his head. "Ah, plagiarism is a serious accusation. You're right, we wouldn't want that."

Grinning brightly, Kyle shook his head and reiterated "Nope." Then he stared intently at Tom and continued with sincerity liberally laced though his tone. "Anyway, I meant what I said. So if you don't like Hit List, please just tell me. I'm hoping you'll at least have a couple of notes."

Amusement fading from his voice into seriousness, Tom responded softly "I know you did. I promise I'll tell you what I honestly think and I do owe you a couple of notes." He shot Kyle an affectionate smile before heading to the kitchen. He really should get rid of the plates and he was also conscious that they were completely ignoring Kyle's parents sitting right in front of them. Tom was determined to make a good impression on Marie and Chris since they obviously had a great relationship with Kyle. Tom thought he was doing well on that front so far but ignoring them probably wasn't the best approach.

As Tom walked away, Marie turned to Kyle with faintly upturned lips and raised eyebrows. "So... you called him your boyfriend. Was that a slip of the tongue or did you two sort things out?"

Kyle grinned at her "We sorted things out. Tom's amazing, Mom."

Marie simply smiled at him. "I'm happy for you honey. I can see how much you like him." Marie took a deep breath, trying to decide whether to ask him about what happened with Tom and Blake before Kyle's accident, why he'd lied to her and Chris. Scrutinising her son's pale features and then sharing a meaningful glance with Chris, she decided against it. They'd still be here for a few more days and would have plenty of time to find out what had happened later.

Chris observed "It's obvious how much he likes you too. I like this one, Kyle."

"Thanks. I like this one too." Kyle smiled at his parents, noting to himself that he must still look pretty sick if they were both refraining from grilling him about Tom. He'd caught that glance between them; they were apparently going to ignore it for now even though they had to be curious. He knew that it was coming but maybe they wanted to wait until they had him alone first? Whatever the reason, he doubted he had the energy for that conversation so he wasn't going to bring it up himself. For now, he was just going to appreciate the fact they liked Tom. Not that it would have stopped him from being with Tom if they hadn't, but he loved his parents and valued their opinions so it was still nice to have their approval. He settled back into the couch, letting the quiet conversation wash over him as Tom sat back down. It had been a long conversation with Jimmy earlier and there was so much left to do with him and with Hit List. But all of that could wait. Right now, his stomach was full and lassitude was spreading rapidly across his brain. Kyle tilted his head to rest on his boyfriend's shoulder with a yawn, linking their fingers tightly together. He'd just rest here and worry about everything else tomorrow.


	18. Breaking news

It was still very early the next morning when the incessant buzzing of his phone awoke Tom. Wanting to avoid waking Kyle, who hadn't yet stirred from the noise, Tom immediately stifled a groan and reached out to grab his cell. Seeing Julia's name flash up on the phone as he answered, Tom whispered "Hi. Can you hold for a minute please Julia? Thanks." He then plopped the phone down on the bedside table and began carefully manoeuvring himself away from Kyle. Once he'd successfully slid out of bed without affecting Kyle's peaceful sleep, Tom crept out into his living room to continue his call. "Hi again Julia. Sorry, I was still in bed and I didn't want to wake Kyle. What's going on?"

"Hi Tom. Sorry to wake you. Is Kyle doing okay?"

"Yeah, resting a lot and still pretty badly injured but he's improving. I don't mind that you woke me and don't worry, Kyle's still asleep."

"Good; I'm glad he's doing well." Julia nodded to herself once as she spoke.

Tom paused for a moment before responding. "I know you are. But I doubt you called me this early to talk about him."

"Right, the reason I called. Richard Francis released an article in this morning's paper and since it was released online late last night it's already been picked up by social media and quite a few Broadway gossip pages. His article mentions that you two are in a relationship."

Tom sucked in his breath. He'd known this would happen eventually but he's hoped they would have a little more time for Kyle to recover first. But they'd have to manage. Being with Kyle was worth anything the media could throw at them. "Julia, how bad is it?"

Julia's calm tone filtered down the line. "It could be worse. The good news is that no one seems to know the whole truth so there's a lot of speculation about what actually happened. Because of that, no one theory is getting much credence and that's protecting you two at the moment."

"Okay, that's good. I think." Tom braced himself before asking a question he didn't really want to voice. "And the bad news?"

"There is a lot of interest and all of that speculation means there's some unpleasant theories about the two of you." She frowned deeply. "That you're some kind of predator that seduced him; that he's sleeping with you for your money or the sake of his career. Things like that."

Tom dropped his head into his hands. Kyle was doing better and things seemed to be going well. They didn't need this complication right now. "Great. Tom the monster or Kyle the untalented hack sleeping his way to fame and fortune. Just what we needed." His voice broke a little in his despondence over the words. "Hasn't he been through enough?"

Julia smiled a little sadly. "He's strong Tom, he'll be okay. So will you."

"Yeah."

"Anyway, it's not all bad; there's a lot of support for you two on social media already. Most of those people seem interested in your actual story rather than wild suppositions. They were already interested in Kyle after his reported death, his first and last musical moving to Broadway posthumously and then his miraculous recovery. Now they're adding you into the equation and I think people are enjoying the almost tragic romance element of the story."

Tom sighed. "They wouldn't have enjoyed it if they'd lived through it. Never mind, having support is great even if it is a little macabre. What did Richard Francis' article say?"

"Not much, really. He's more interested in the two of you as an additional connection between the Bombshell and creative Hit List teams than anything else. He briefly talks about Kyle's accident, commenting that it would have been a great loss to Broadway for such a talented young writer to have died so he's relieved that Kyle's alive and wishes him well for his recovery. He also offers his condolences to the family of the other young man, the one with whom Kyle's records were switched and mentions that there's an investigation."

Relief washed over Tom at Julia's explanation. If that was all the coverage the mainstream media had for now it genuinely wasn't so bad. He didn't mind their relationship being public knowledge, he was proud to be with Kyle. As for the crazy theories he had been dreading, people would pay far less attention to gossip even if they were curious about the situation. "We can deal with that."

Julia smiled. "Yes, you can. I know you said you were in love with him; a little short-term media speculation isn't going to matter that much in the scheme of things. All the same, I wanted to give you a warning so you weren't blindsided at the Bombshell meeting today. You know that Agnes will bring it up; she has an angle on everything."

"Yes, she does." He flinched slightly at the thought of the Bombshell publicist. "She scares me a little; thanks for letting me know."

Julia laughed "Yes, she's very..." her words petered out as she tried to find the right adjective "focused on her work. I thought you might appreciate the opportunity to discuss your response with Kyle first instead of her."

"Thanks Julia, I do." Tom grinned brightly "Houston and Levitt, working together again!"

Her writing partner's enthusiasm carried through into her ears and Julia couldn't help but join him with a soft smile. She really was delighted they had managed to find a way to keep working together as a team. "I know, Tom. It feels good to have each other's back again."

"It really does." They both fell silent, enjoying their mutual contentment at their reconnected partnership.

Then Julia broke the moment. She'd made sure Tom had the warning he needed this time, unlike at the hospital when she'd unintentionally inflicted a difficult situation upon him. She still felt guilty about that but at least it had worked out okay in the end if Tom and Kyle were happy. Julia was curious how happy they were; now that she'd alerted Tom she wanted to satisfy her own curiosity about her partner and the sweet young man she thought of as her protégé. "So, Tom, what's going on with you and Kyle?"

"We're dating." His grin widened, pure joy shining out of his eyes into his empty living room and matching the sun's first rays as they beamed through the broad windows.

Julia's breath caught in the back of her throat. She may not be able to see Tom's face but she could hear how happy he was."Oh, that's wonderful Tom. I'm happy for you honey, both of you. You make a great couple."

Tom grinned. "Yeah, we do. Uh, I haven't told him I'm in love with yet, I'm trying not to rush things, you know? He's still hurt and we're going so fast already." He tilted his head in thought, listing off milestones. "Officially dating, moving in together, meeting his parents."

Julia's voice was serious. "Are you scared you're moving too fast?"

"No, no I'm not. We haven't even been on an actual date. I feel like I should be terrified, but I'm not. I trust him. It doesn't matter that we're doing everything out of order and incredibly fast." Tom laughed slightly, amused by the craziness of their current situation. The strangest thing for him was how right it all felt. "I don't want to run away from this."

Tom's words brought a happy tear to the corner of Julia's eye. She'd been so worried about him when he constantly ran away from every relationship that even held the possibility of a serious connection. He deserved to be with someone as wonderful as Kyle, to have that kind of love in his life. "Go with that feeling, Tom. Hold onto that and you'll be fine."

"That's the plan." Tom quirked his lips and stood, suddenly feeling restless as doubt's icy fingertips coiled and gnawed at the pit of his stomach. He trusted Kyle but since neither of them had said anything, he couldn't be certain Kyle loved him back. He wouldn't blame his boyfriend if he didn't, they were very new and Kyle might not have fallen as fast as he had. That was what he was scared about now, not being in a serious relationship but about Kyle not wanting the same. But they were together and that was enough for him at the moment. They had plenty of time. Julia's words brought him out of his thoughts as she concluded their conversation.

"I should let you get back to him. I'm sure you'll want to go read the articles so I sent you a few links to get started. Check your email."

"Okay, thanks Julia. You'll be at the meeting today, right?"

"Yes, I will. Eileen wants all hands on deck because of the change with Hit List opening. Anyway, I'll see you later, Tom. Say hi to Kyle for me."

"Will do. Bye Julia." Tom disconnected his phone before popping his head through his bedroom door to check on Kyle. Still sleeping peacefully, good. Tom would let him sleep, there was no need to interrupt his much needed rest to talk about the articles. They could do that after Kyle woke up in his own time. Instead he pulled the door shut with a soft click and padded into his kitchen. He'd grab some breakfast and then sit down with his laptop to have a look at the gossip swirling about Kyle and him. He sighed as he turned the coffee machine on. They'd get through this. After what Julia had said, how bad could it possibly be? He was ready to find out.

A few hours later Kyle awoke slowly, clinging blindly to the last vestiges of sleep as his brain groggily began registering his surroundings. He heard rustling movement and a concurrent shift of the bed beneath him. He felt the light press of fingertips caressing down his back in long, smooth strokes. The touch was warm and familiar, the recognition tugging a lethargic smile onto his lips as Kyle cracked open his eyes. As he blinked, his vision slowly swam into focus on his lover's face. "Tom" he mumbled.

Tom bent to press a kiss to Kyle's temple. "Good morning, Kyle."

Kyle noticed that Tom was sitting on top of the covers with his jean-clad legs stretched in front of him and a pile of papers resting at his side. Scrubbing his hand across his eyes, "What time is it?"

"10ish. You obviously needed the sleep. You were really out of it; you didn't even stir when I got up a few hours ago."

"Mmm," Kyle yawned widely. "Thanks for staying; I like having you here."

"You're welcome. I like being here too." Tom adopted a serious expression. "Besides, your parents kind of co-opted my office. I had no choice; I had to find somewhere else to work."

Kyle grinned at him. "That's your excuse and you're sticking to it, huh?"

"Yep." Tom grinned back, the affection in his eyes belying his words. He brushed his fingers across Kyle's cheek in a gentle caress. "How do you feel this morning?"

"I'm really glad to be out of the hospital. It was nice to sleep in a real bed without the nurses coming in every few hours to check on me." Carefully breathing in deeply, Kyle assessed the resulting pain with a wince and continued, "Right, I'm okay but I think I need some more painkillers." He reached over to grab the bottle off the bedside table before inhaling sharply at a stab of pain in his chest. "Damn it! Tom, would you please...?"

Tom cut him off "Of course." Easily reaching over Kyle to pick up the bottle of medication and water, Tom twisted off the cap and passed them to Kyle before helping his boyfriend sit up.

Kyle tilted the bottle and stared down intensely at the tiny white pills as they cascaded toward his hand. Rattling two into his palm, Kyle noted dejectedly, "I hate taking these. I know the doctor said that taking prescribed pills for a few days for real pain is fine, that I'm not likely to get addicted. I know she said that if I don't take them I probably won't breathe deeply enough and I could get pneumonia. But every time I take another dose, I can't help but think about Jimmy."

Tom tipped Kyle's chin up to look intently into his eyes and reassure him. "Sweetheart, none of us want you to be in pain. Or to end up back in hospital. You're not Jimmy; you've never had a problem with drugs. You're following medical advice and you won't need to take these for long."

Staring dazedly into Tom's eyes as pain licked at his own, Kyle replied quietly. "I know I'm not Jimmy. I just wish he would get better, you know? He's trying so hard that I'm hopeful... but even if he gets his life organised, it won't just stop. It never just stops. It will get easier but he's never going to be able to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or celebrate with champagne or take drugs like these if he's hurt."

Tom reflected on Kyle's words. There wasn't much he could say to make that better so he'd keep it simple. "I'm sorry, Kyle. It's great that Jimmy's trying."

"Yeah, it is. I just hate the thought of taking these damn drugs because I've watched what drugs have done to him. For the rest of his life, he's always going to have to be careful not to slide back into addiction." Kyle sighed before steeling himself and swallowing the pills. As much as he hated the idea of depending on drugs to get him through the day it was the sensible thing for him to do right now. The doctor had made it clear the risk of addiction was very low and the risk of problems if he didn't take them was much higher. At least these ones didn't make him as groggy as the ones he'd had in hospital. "Right," he added with a groan, stretching his legs out in front of him and changing the topic. "I'll give these a few minutes to kick in and then I'd really like a shower. I feel kind of gross after what, 12 hours of sleep?"

Tom smiled at him in amusement, kissing him gently and humming "Mmm, something like that. I still think you're cute." He indulged himself by dropping a kiss onto the bridge of Kyle's nose.

Kyle lips twitched upwards as spoke. "You have to go to that meeting pretty soon, don't you? Your weekly Bombshell meeting?"

Tom turned his wrist to check the time on his watch. "Hmm, I still have an hour or so before I should head out to that."

"Good." Kyle yawned and curled into Tom, shutting his eyes and resting quietly for several minutes as his medication began to work. Then he rubbed his hand across his face and moved to get up. As nice as this was, his movement was improving as the medication took effect and he wanted to get out of bed. "Shower time?"

"Sure. Uh, did you want me to join you or just wait and make sure you don't slip or need help?"

Kyle dragged his eyes down Tom's body, assessing rapidly even as he enjoyed the view. He sighed; Tom was ready to head out and there really wasn't much point in his boyfriend showering again. Especially when they couldn't do anything more fun. He shook his head. "Just wait. You've already showered and dressed."

Tom looked at his boyfriend carefully. "Are you going to be okay showering by yourself and everything?"

"I'll manage; I need to figure out how to adjust around my injuries soon anyway. It might take me few more minutes than usual to do everything one-handed, but I'll be fine. And if I'm not, I'll yell. I'm sure you and/or my parents will come running if I call or if you hear any suspicious thuds."

"Yes, we will." Tom promised. "Uh, when you're done there's something else I have to tell you."

Kyle immediately snapped his eyes to Tom's face in concern. "What happened? Please tell me Jimmy didn't do something stupid again."

Tom shook his head, rapidly replying "Jimmy's fine as far as I know. No, this is about us. We finally made the news."

Kyle sighed in relief. "Okay, well we knew that was going to happen. God, you scared me there, Tom!" His heart rate was beginning the journey back toward normal. They were consenting adults; Tom hadn't done anything wrong for the media to crucify him and Kyle was prepared to take full responsibility for cheating on Blake if that came up. Of course the fact that they hadn't done anything wrong wouldn't necessarily stop widespread gossip implying they had. But they'd deal with that if it happened.

Sheepish acknowledgement plastered across his face, Tom replied "Sorry, Baby. I know you're really worried about him right now."

Kyle sighed deeply. "Yeah, I am. But this is about us. So, what are they saying?

"Lots of different things. I don't think anyone who knows the full story is talking because there's a lot of speculation ranging from completely crazy stories to the truth and no one knows which is which. We have some support though. Apparently we make a cute couple and we even have a couple's name on tumblr."

Kyle laughed. "Do I want to know what it is?"

"Tyle."

Kyle looked at his boyfriend with a mixture of amusement and confusion. "Like a bathroom tile?"

Tom grinned. "I guess so. I think they did the best they could with what they had. There just isn't much you can do with Tom Levitt and Kyle Bishop."

Kyle's grin had a glint of seduction to it. "Oh, there's plenty we can do. Just not with our names." He tilted his head in consideration. "But I kind of like it."

Tom pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before replying. "I'm glad because I think we're stuck with it either way. Uh, so I printed a few articles out. Do you want me to grab them and we can figure out how we want to respond?"

Kyle shook his head firmly. "No, not right now. I'll shower and then have a look over breakfast. I'm actually a little hungry this morning."

Tom kissed his lover's temple and hummed "Mmm, that is good news."

Kyle returned the favour with a gentle kiss to Tom's jaw. "It is. So I'd better go shower. Then I can eat and we'll plan what to do next."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hi everyone! Finally, I managed a much more reasonable update time frame! Thanks for reading and a special thanks goes out to those of you who have bookmarked, subscribed, given kudos or reviewed! I also wanted to note that the 'Tyle' couple name isn't mine - I'm not sure who first thought of it but the credit goes to them. If someone wants to let me know who it was I'll happily change this note to reflect that. Cheers, Rose


	19. Media coverage

Kyle slowly made his way out to the living room, pausing for a few seconds as he suppressed a faint shiver. His attempt at drying the planes of his back with one hand and an inability to move around very much hadn't been all that successful. It had left the occasional rivulet of water idling down his spine and once he'd squirmed into his clothes made his shirt damp. Oh well, that would dry soon. He wasn't planning on going out into the frigid atmosphere on the other side of the front door and it had been enough trouble getting one shirt on. He really hadn't wanted to try to take it off and then put on another immediately. He also hadn't wanted to waste any more time before reading the media coverage and gossip about he and Tom. His boyfriend had implied that it was mixed and Kyle wanted to know what was being said about them. Whatever it was, he was certain being with Tom was worth it but he still needed to know. If people were going to be sending him searching sidelong glances or grins and cutting short whispers the moment he moved close then he wanted to know why. Of course, Kyle hoped no one would be doing any of those things… but it was better to be prepared. As Kyle stepped over the threshold into the kitchen and rested his hand against the top of a chair for support, he smiled softly at the sight of his boyfriend standing over the stove, spatula held aloft in his right hand. As Kyle enjoyed that moment while Tom was still unaware of his presence, an image shimmered into focus across the forefront of his mind. Kyle could see himself walking up behind Tom, curving his arms around Tom's chest and roaming freely as he pressed solidly against his boyfriend. He could see himself dropping a kiss against the back of Tom's neck in greeting and another to his lips when Tom craned his neck back to return the greeting. He envisioned his boyfriend turn reluctantly back to the cooking only just before their pleasurable distraction let something burn and himself murmuring "I love you" in Tom's ear. Kyle could almost hear Tom say the words in return as he took a nearly unconscious step forward, not quite clearing the legs of the chair with his toes in his reverie. The image shattered as he inhaled sharply in pained surprise and felt the corresponding deep ache in his chest. Kyle sank with a clipped groan into the chair to which he was still clinging. Right now he needed to sit down. There would be other mornings.

Tom spun around at Kyle's groan, his eyes shimmering with concern as he asked "Are you okay?"

Kyle quickly reassured his lover. "I'm fine. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, that's all." He paused before adding softly "You're very distracting."

Kyle's matter of fact words sent a heady rush of satisfaction through Tom's veins. He was sorry that Kyle had apparently walked into the chair but he really wasn't sorry that Kyle found him distracting. Not at all. He hadn't been exaggerating when he'd told Julia that Kyle made his head spin and Tom wanted nothing more than for Kyle to feel the same way. He responded as quietly as Kyle had. "You're very distracting too."

That felt good to hear. Every time Tom said something about his feelings, or showed that he cared in some other way, it sent hope flooding across Kyle's chest. Kyle was discovering that being in love with someone and not knowing if they loved you back was a stressful tangle of soaring highs and wracking doubts. It felt incredible most of the time and he knew Tom cared about him but he couldn't quite believe he'd be lucky enough for someone as wonderful as Tom to fall in love with him. He wasn't sure he could put his finger on exactly what it was but something was still holding him back from taking that chance and telling Tom how deeply he felt. Just too much going on right now, he guessed, trying to get over the trauma of his accident, feeling like it was too early in their relationship. He wasn't sure he was quite ready for the possibility of Tom telling him he was sorry but he didn't feel the same way. Until he could face that, he couldn't quite bring himself to be the first to say something. Kyle smiled softly at Tom again. Hopefully his boyfriend did feel the same and was also holding back. But Kyle couldn't think any more about that at this moment; they only had a little time to talk before Tom had to leave. Kyle really didn't want Tom to miss yet another Bombshell thing because of him. Plus, he was hungry and the scent drifting over from the pan Tom stood in front of was delightful. And familiar. "So, what are you cooking?"

"A spinach, cheese and tomato omelet. You said you really liked it when I made it last time you spent the night here, so I thought…" His words petered out in hesitation. Maybe he should have waited and then asked Kyle what he'd wanted. But they really should talk and Tom was well aware that only had half an hour before he really had to leave if he were going to make the meeting on time. Eileen might just throttle him if he didn't turn up. Figuratively speaking, of course. Agnes on the other hand… With a lethargic blink, Tom forced his shuddering brain back to the amazing man in front of him. He was a much better person to think about.

"It smells great, Tom. Thank you. Once my arm is better I'm going to have return the favour and cook for you."

Tom raised his eyebrows, deliberately arranging mock fright across his face and speaking playfully. "Well, you haven't accidentally poisoned Jimmy yet and I know you do all of the cooking for the two of you. I think you'll manage to avoid killing me. My taste buds on the other hand, should I be worried about their continued survival?"

Kyle grinned back at him mischievously "You'll just have to stick around and find out, won't you?" He'd learnt to be creative enough to make tasty and healthy meals even when he and Jimmy were practically broke. He wasn't too worried.

Flipping the now golden brown omelet out onto a plate and grabbing cutlery from his drawer, Tom headed over to the table and slid it in front of Kyle. Once his hands were free, Tom leant down and reached out to gently tip Kyle's face up for a sweet kiss. When he pulled away, it was only to tenderly murmur "I will" and sweep his hand up to cradle Kyle's face before kissing his boyfriend again, lingering this time so they could both enjoy the moment. When Kyle's stomach grumbled a minute later, Tom ended the kiss with a slightly breathless laugh and a little reluctance. "You did say you were hungry. I should let you eat."

As Kyle tucked into his food, he glanced down at the table and noted the pile of papers neatly sitting to one side. Putting down his fork long enough to pull them toward himself and focus on them, Kyle asked curiously "Are these the articles about us?"

Tom nodded, "Some of them. There's a few pictures snapped of the two of us circulating in there as well."

Kyle lifted his eyes from the inked pages to Tom's eyes. "Oh God. What pictures?"

"File photos from official event photographers, mostly. Where they were taking shots of the attendees but didn't publish the shots of us standing together or smiling at each other because they weren't interesting. Now they are. Bombshell opening night; us raising a glass and dimming the lights for you in memorial. And a couple of cell phone shots too. From Bombshell invited dress and …" he reached over to pull a photo from the pile and hand it to his boyfriend "this one yesterday morning when you were discharged from the hospital."

"Someone took pictures of me leaving the hospital?" Kyle really wasn't used to the idea that strangers would be interested in his movements yet. He glanced down at the snapshot. "Oh, wow." It was a gorgeous picture. Their faces were only a couple of inches apart and he was standing in the circle of Tom's arms, his broken arm resting in a crisp white sling between them. It was clear from the photo they had either just kissed or were about to kiss. Kyle knew it was the former, that they'd kissed after Tom had helped him out of the wheelchair in which the hospital had insisted he be discharged. It had caught both of them in profile and Kyle could see the naked emotion in both of their faces. The look the photo had captured in Tom's eyes set Kyle's heart racing.

"Yeah, that one's my favourite. It's a good thing we're not trying to hide the fact that we're together." He paused "We aren't, right? I don't want to."

Kyle looked at his boyfriend in amusement "No, I don't want to either. If we wanted to keep us secret a bit longer the whole staying at my side in the hospital thing and now the living together thing wouldn't have been a well thought out plan." He tipped his head toward the photo with emphasis. "Besides, I wouldn't believe us if we said we weren't together after seeing that photo."

Tom grinned back "Yeah, but what everyone knows and what's actually confirmed by us are two different things when it comes to Broadway gossip."

"True. We can confirm it then. Back to the photo for a second; do you think we could get a copy? We don't have any shots of us yet."

Tom's eyebrows rose and his forehead crinkled in surprise for a few seconds before he laughed. "I wasn't really expecting that response but why not? If you'd like I can even have Agnes ask for copies for a few of the photos if you want. Or Hit List's publicist can. They'll probably print that she confirmed we were together and requested copies. It's a nice way to imply we're not ashamed of anything."

"It is. That's not why I want copies, but yeah, it is a nice way to do that without having to give interviews." He really didn't think he'd have time for interviews between taking care of his injuries and getting Hit List ready to open.

"Yep. Agnes will want an official response anyway, so that should work. She already released another statement saying the Bombshell team is glad that you're alive and will continue to write musicals for many years to come; that it had been a tragedy to lose a writer so young." He frowned slightly. "She had to after the original statement released with condolences but I think she worded to imply that you were too inexperienced to write a musical deserving of awards."

Kyle shrugged. He couldn't bring himself to be upset about that. Life really was too short to worry about the machinations of another musical's publicist. Even if the musical were Tom's. He couldn't change anything she did so he may as well ignore it. "Oh well. It's her job to say that Bombshell deserves to win everything and she's not lying by implying I'm young and inexperienced. I am. That's why Hit List had to be sung through in the first place, though with Julia's guidance there's some dialogue now. It's fine Tom, we have competing musicals but it doesn't have to come between us."

Tom spoke sincerely, every word couched in emotion. "I wouldn't want it to. I want to keep doing what we're doing."

Kyle replied with wide-eyed conviction. "Then why don't we? We can talk about whatever we want and it stays between us. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks."

"Deal" Tom leant forward to seal it with a fleeting kiss.

Kyle smiled softly at Tom before turning his eyes back to the other articles and reading the top one. When he finished, Kyle across the table at his boyfriend. "Well, it could have been worse. Richard Francis didn't say much apart from the fact that we were together. I think it's promising that there's no mention of Blake."

Tom nodded, concern still swirling in his eyes over Kyle's reaction to the rest of the news. "I thought so too, especially since that's the only mainstream media article out today."

"That is good." Kyle leafed through the papers in his hands, skimming over each article and reading out occasional sections as he went so Tom knew which part he was talking about. "Let's see 'Kyle Bishop was invited to the Bombshell invited dress for friends and family where he sat with Julia Houston and Tom Levitt. We had assumed that he was there as Julia's protégé, but now we wonder… Take a look at Kyle with Tom here and decide for yourselves.' " He set it aside. "Speculation and a grainy cell phone shot of me smiling at you and Julia."

Tom grinned "You were kind of beaming at me. I'm not surprised they wondered whose guest you really were."

Kyle grinned back. "I was excited to see your version of Bombshell, a little star-struck and I thought it was adorable how anxious you were. Wanting the AC on in the middle of winter because you were so nervous you thought it was hot. Of course I was beaming."

Tom murmured "Of course" before he stood a little as Kyle flicked through the next article, moving his chair around the table so he was close enough to Kyle for the outer planes of their thighs to touch. He dropped his hand to Kyle's knee, the warmth of his hand seeping through the weave of the material to play across Kyle's skin.

"Oh, and here about the Ronnie Moore concert. 'We're curious if his input affected the choice of singing Collins' song to close the concert? Perhaps the discovery of Bishop and Collins was all Wills' doing, but perhaps Levitt decided to kick start his young lover's career…' Well, that's clearly wrong. I know Derek was responsible for that."

Tom bit his lip. Derek had done as he'd asked, well demanded, and not told anyone what Tom had said about Jimmy. But he probably needed to come clean about his part in things to Kyle. "Umm, not entirely. I might have had something to do with it."

Kyle's eyes widened in surprise. "What? You had something to do with Ronnie singing 'I Can't Let Go' that night?"

"I may have told Derek that Jimmy was the real thing and that he'd made a mistake by not listening to that song."

Kyle dropped the article he held in his hand and instead used his fingertips to curve over the side of Tom's jaw, cupping his boyfriend's face. He knew Tom hadn't specifically done that for him, instead he had done it because in his professional opinion the song deserved to be heard. But it meant something to Kyle that Tom believed in Jimmy's talent before everyone else had. More than that, Tom had played a key role in Hit List's success and Kyle hadn't known. Without the buzz from that concert, they wouldn't have got the last spot at the Fringe and Scott Nicholls wouldn't have seen the show. Therefore Scott wouldn't have taken them to MTW for development and they definitely wouldn't have been picked up by Jerry Rand and be opening in just over a week on Broadway. Without that push from Tom, Kyle hoped they still might have gotten to Broadway eventually. Via the slow route with numerous performances in Joe's Pub in three years. This option was much, much better and he had his boyfriend to thank. Leaning forward to fill the space between them, Kyle kissed Tom, pouring every ounce of his gratitude into the movement of his lips. When he ended the kiss with his forehead resting against Tom's, their breaths mingling between them, Kyle knew his boyfriend had understood the message.

Tom's lips turned upward. "You're welcome."

Kyle wished they had more time to focus on that. But they didn't. "So, should we confirm anything except the fact that we're together? Any of our story?"

"We might want to wait and see what happens over the next day or two. I mean you and Blake weren't dating long right, only a few weeks before you and I started seeing each other?"

"Yeah, a couple of weeks is all. About a month total before he and I broke up. Do you really think it won't go public that I cheated on him?"

"I think it will. It is one of the stories that's been printed today, thanks to Jimmy's delightful bar scene. But I think there's a good chance people will assume the two of you weren't exclusive after only two weeks so they might not think you actually cheated. At the very least the public will probably be a lot more forgiving because the relationship was so short. They'll assume it wasn't serious and absolve you of some of the guilt. It's not like the two of you were married."

"Right, no we weren't." Kyle stared across at the remnants of his omelet, still a little ashamed that he cheated on his boyfriend, serious or not.

Tom quirked his mouth in worry. "Do you think anyone will talk? Blake, maybe?"

Kyle drew his eyebrows together and lifted his shoulder in a helpless shrug. "I don't know if Blake will talk to the media. I don't think anyone else will though. Everyone at Hit List knows we were hooking up but only a few people know we were officially dating. They won't speak to the media and if someone else does then they won't have much actual inside information."

"Jimmy won't say anything? I have to ask after the bar."

Kyle shook his head firmly. He was fairly sure Jimmy wouldn't do something like that again so soon, especially since he seemed to be aware of how much he'd hurt Kyle and had tearfully pleaded for his forgiveness. If Jimmy started using again, things might change, but for now, Jimmy wouldn't betray him that. "No, Jimmy knows that what he did is wrong. He won't say anything."

Tom nodded slowly, accepting Kyle's view as an accurate predictor of Jimmy's actions. "Okay, just Blake to worry about then."

"Yeah. I hope he doesn't say anything, that he's satisfied with what he said, well yelled, at the hospital in private. But I'm not going to ask him not to. He is the injured party here, he has the right to talk to the media if he wants. I, um, I'm a little embarrassed to admit I don't actually know him well enough to know what he'll do." His cheeks flushed faintly pink. The entire Blake situation was a mess he'd caused, however inadvertently.

"Oh?" Tom reached out to rest his hand on Kyle's knee again in silent comfort and just listened.

"Blake was more…" Kyle sighed deeply. "I wanted to be with someone; I was tired of being alone. Blake's a nice guy and it just happened. He was right there, you know? I did like him but I didn't see it lasting very long. Probably just as long as we were at MTW."

"But isn't he going with you to Broadway? He's part of the crew, isn't he?" Tom would have thought some of the crew would be going with them, especially since they were transferring to Broadway so rapidly and it would save them a lot of trouble if they didn't have to replace too many people.

"Yes, he's a lighting technician. But he's employed by MTW so he'll stay on there instead of coming with us. Our new theatre has a massively more complicated system and its own set of lighting guys. I'm glad actually, I do feel guilty for hurting him and hopefully this will be easier since he won't have to see me every day. A clean break." Kyle tipped his head forward, staring down and studying the way Tom's fingers curved over his knee as though it were the most important thing in the world. It gave his mind something to focus on and helped distract him from the guilt. Being with Tom wasn't a mistake, however regrettable their timing had been.

"I hope so. It will probably be less awkward for both of you like this."

"Yeah. If everything goes well, I want to consider volunteering or something at MTW since they were a huge part of supporting Jimmy and I to get Hit List to Broadway. I want to help support them in return and I don't want to feel like I can't go back there because of Blake. With a clean break hopefully he'll have the time to get over things and move on and we can be friendly enough if we work together again in the future." He really did hope it would be easier on Blake this way and that his ex would find someone who made him as happy as Tom made Kyle.

"That sounds good. I think it will be fine. He probably got most of it out of system when he yelled at you."

"Yeah, I'm hoping so." Mindful of the time, Kyle took Tom's free hand, threading their fingers together and turning it over so he could read Tom's watch.

Tom followed his boyfriend's eyes with his own. "Yeah, I have to go soon." He sighed. "I'm sure I'll get to hear all about how unhappy Eileen is about Jerry taking Hit List to Broadway. Never mind, I'll tell them just to confirm that we're dating for now but nothing else?"

"Yeah, thanks Tom."

"Don't thank me yet. Let's see if we can get through this with our reputations intact." He was still genuinely worried about that, online support or not.

Kyle squeezed his lover's hand and spoke with optimism sidling into his tone "I don't think our reputations will be more than a little bruised. But we'll be okay, Tom. Whatever happens."

Tom just nodded. He wasn't quite as optimistic as Kyle but he desperately hoped the man he loved was right about this. He brushed his lips across Kyle's one final time and stood to head out after saying goodbye. They'd find out soon enough either way.

Once Tom had left, Kyle found himself meandering out to sit on the couch and joining his parents.

"Morning, honey. Did you sleep well?" Marie had heard him get up some time ago but she and Chris had wanted to give Tom and Kyle a little time to sort through things. Earlier that morning, while Kyle was still sleeping, they'd seen some of the media coverage and decided to give their son and his boyfriend the opportunity to talk. It would be easier for Kyle and Tom to work out what they wanted to do without feeling as though they had to watch their words in front of her and Chris. So they'd been catching up on a little work in the meantime.

Having assured his parents that he'd slept well and was feeling a bit better, Kyle was sitting comfortably on the couch with his laptop resting across his legs. He was trying to find information on Emily. Typing one-handed was going slowly but he was managing. His broken arm was laying at his side, kept at a comfortable angle by the plush pillow it rested upon. He'd been thinking about Jimmy had said about Emily. Even without a last name he should be able to find something in the newspaper if she'd died. Teenagers didn't just die from drug overdoses without anyone noticing. Especially when Jimmy had said she was well dressed and had money to burn. Presumably that meant she lived with her parents or guardians, he supposed. Either way, it meant that she had people that cared about her; people that would notice if she never came home. No, if Emily had died, he should be able to find her. He could see a lot of trawling through obituaries and newspaper archives in his near future. But Jimmy knew the date of the party and he hadn't remembered any particular accent so she was almost certainly American and probably lived close to the party in a good neighbourhood. That would help. How many teenage girls could possibly have died from drug overdoses within a few days of that party? Even with a common name like Emily. Hell, even if she'd lied about her name. Kyle had thought about this before but Jimmy hadn't been willing to give him much he could use before. Her name and the date and location of the party had been held tightly to Jimmy's chest. Now Kyle was armed with those facts he should be able to find her. Or, preferably, not find her, in the obituaries at least. Not finding her there was the best possible outcome.

The bright sound of the phone cut through his thoughts. His cell was still with the police as part of their investigation of the accident so he had to use Tom's landline for now. Kyle stood and ambled over to the phone. Well, he was going as fast as he could, but it really could only be considered an amble. He would probably have to take a message for Tom but it might be Jimmy. Kyle had made sure he had the number since his best friend was definitely a little fragile right now. Kyle had wanted to be sure that Jimmy was able to reach him if he needed to talk, no matter what time it was.

"Hello"

"Hey man, it's me."

"I was just thinking about you, Jimmy. How's rehearsal going?" Kyle tucked the handset under his ear, supporting it with his good shoulder and leaving his hand free to tug at the phone cord. Releasing it from its confinement behind the phone and giving himself plenty of slack in the line, Kyle walked back to the couch. Excellent, it just reached. He figured he might as well be comfortable. That way he wouldn't have to cut the conversation short if Jimmy wanted to talk. And from his best friend's tone, he gathered that he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hello my delightful readers, some story news - this chapter takes the story to over 50,000 words. Since I started this story expecting a much shorter word count of perhaps 10,000, I am surprised (and excited) to hit the milestone of 50,000! Thanks for your support! Cheers, Rose


	20. Minimising the fallout

Jimmy sank with relief into a chair in the dressing room, his new cell phone pressed tightly to his ear. He was glad he'd managed to catch Kyle. "Rehearsal's going all right."

Kyle was worried about the tension in Jimmy's voice but wasn't sure if he wanted to press Jimmy for any details if they'd have to cut the conversation short after only a few minutes. "So, are you taking ten?"

"Not exactly. As a condition for giving me Jesse's part back, Derek insisted that Sam get fully rehearsed in now instead of after previews. He said that way if I bloody well screwed up again the show wouldn't suffer."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Jimmy. If it helps, I don't think he would have given it back at all if he hadn't thought you could do it." Kyle understood why Derek set that condition. It was a good idea have a backup plan in place in case Jimmy needed time off. He might not be able to handle the stress of trying to recover while trying to give fantastic performances night after night. Or seeing a psychiatrist a couple of times a week might not be enough and he might need to spend some time in a more intensive rehab facility. Derek would know that. Derek would also be planning for the possibility that Jimmy relapsed. There were a lot of things that could go wrong and it made sense to have Sam ready to step into Jimmy's lead role and of course, Sam's understudy ready to take over Sam's featured part. They didn't want to be trying to organise that at a moment's notice. This was better. Just in case.

Jimmy sighed. "I guess. It's still my part as long as I don't screw up. Again." It was better than he'd expected. Better than he deserved. He'd broken Karen's trust when he let her fall and hurt herself. Sure, it had only been a graze and Jimmy hadn't done it deliberately but he was still responsible for that mark on her skin. He'd hurt her. And he'd seen his mother bleeding at his father's hands far too often to forgive himself for that any time soon.

"Jimmy, you're trying. That's what matters."

When he replied, Jimmy's voice was filled with hesitance, reflecting all of his doubts about whether he was strong enough to fight this at all, let alone while hitting his marks eight shows a week. "What if it's not enough? I'm not an actor." But he wanted to keep performing. He liked performing and it would probably help him to have something to do. As well as the fact that he knew now that he couldn't ever be high in a performance without risking hurting Karen. And he wasn't going to become the kind of man that did that. Never again.

"You are an actor, Jimmy. There's no way Derek Wills would have let you play the lead if you weren't. But if something goes wrong, then we'll deal with that. It's still your musical. I mean you still think it's mine, right? I'm never on stage."

"Yeah, it's yours. Ours." It felt good to tell Kyle that Jimmy really hadn't meant it when he'd said he was the only member of the creative team who had done anything for Hit List. "But I like performing and I don't want to sit around in the loft with nothing to do all day. I can't exactly go back to bartending." It really wouldn't be a good idea to be around alcohol all the time; to see people enjoying the warm relaxation of their favourite drink with their friends. Or worse, to see them alone at the bar drowning their sorrows in the hazy embrace of each new glass he sat in front of them. Some day, hopefully, Jimmy would be able to be around people drinking and not have to fight himself the entire time to make sure he didn't pick up a glass of his own. But not today. So he couldn't afford to put himself in that situation.

"No, that's probably for the best."

"Yep. Derek also made sure to tell the stage manager that I could take any time off I needed, so that I could see the doctor or just if I needed to get away from the stress of live performing for a few hours."

"I'm glad he's helping you Jimmy." Kyle was glad that Derek seemed to have a bit of a soft spot for talented but broken young artists. It made him wonder if Derek had been one himself. It would certainly explain a few things.

"Yeah." Jimmy really didn't want to keep talking about this. "So, the new stage is confusing."

Kyle took his best friend's cue to focus on something else. "Because it's bigger?"

"Yeah. So instead of having to move 5 feet to hit my mark it's 8. Or 12. Or whatever. It's annoying. Everyone else keeps messing it up too and a couple of the dancers accidentally hit each other this morning." It was bound to happen eventually with the way everyone flung themselves around crazily in their last number.

Kyle frowned tightly, worry worming its way up his spine. He hoped they hadn't been hurt. "Are they both okay?"

"They're fine. Just fell on their asses. But Derek wasn't pleased with the effect of tumbling dancers on his choreography and he's been taking it out on everyone all day."

"He'll get over it; he just wants Hit List to match the vision he sees in his head. I'm sure everyone will be fine in a few days."

"Hopefully. At least I have it easier than Ana. She's trying to get used to flying thirty feet above the stage without a safety harness. Derek's not impressed."

Kyle grimaced sympathetically. "It's a good thing she isn't afraid of heights. I'm glad it's not me."

Jimmy responded by joking with a smirk "I'm glad too. I'm sure you'd sound great on 'Reach for Me,' but I'm sorry Kyle, you just wouldn't look as pretty she does soaring across the stage."

Kyle joined his best friend in his amusement, pleased to hear him relax a little. "Yeah, I think I'd better leave dangling on the silks in a ruffled body suit to Ana. She does it so well it would be a shame not to."

Jimmy chuckled. "Good choice, man." All jokes aside, Jimmy was worried about Kyle might be faring after the gossip today. He'd already had a few people come up to him and ask if it were true. "I heard some of the gossip about you and Tom. I also saw that picture of you two staring sappily at each other. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Tom and I talked about it and we're hoping no one really says much and it kind of washes over. We're just confirming that we're dating for now."

"I'm glad. That you're okay." He was. More than he really knew how to say.

The corners of Kyle's mouth tipped upward. "Thanks, Jimmy. As for that picture, well, I can't really hide how I feel about him. I don't want to. Even if I haven't actually told him yet." It just hadn't felt like he was ready. Like it was the right time. But then maybe there wasn't one right time…

Jimmy smiled too, pleased that Kyle was still confiding in him after his betrayal of that trust. Even though Kyle found it endearingly easy to tell someone when he loved them platonically, he was clearly apprehensive about saying it romantically. Tom would probably have to say it first and then Kyle would be fine. "It's obvious he cares about you. It'll be fine." It was nice to be the one reassuring his best friend for a change.

"I hope so. Thanks. So, has anything else interesting today happened apart from the tumbling dancers?"

Jimmy took a deep breath and launched hesitantly into something he didn't really want to say. "Um, so I might have done something. About Blake. So he stays quiet." He'd only been trying to help but he wasn't sure how Kyle would take it.

Kyle wearily rubbed his hand across his eyes. He should have expected Jimmy would try to keep proving he was worth something to Kyle by trying to help. Unfortunately he wasn't in the most stable frame of mind and Kyle wasn't sure if Jimmy had thought his actions through enough to avoid making things worse. "Jimmy, what did you do?" Kyle fought to keep the emotion out of his voice. His resignation. His pain. His frustration. His concern. Kyle didn't want to accidentally make Jimmy feel like he'd done something wrong when he genuinely was trying to help. Especially before Kyle found out what had actually happened.

"I didn't hurt or threaten him." He'd wanted to but he hadn't. He was trying to help Kyle, trying to keep proving that he was trying to get better, that he appreciated having his best friend in his life. And Jimmy knew Kyle hated it when he used violence to try to fix something. Not always, but Kyle usually got mad at him unless someone else started it and Jimmy was just defending himself. Or someone else. Otherwise Kyle tried to get into his apparently thick skull that violence wasn't the answer.

"Okay. Then what happened?" Although he tried to keep his relief imperceptible Kyle knew he'd probably failed at keeping it from his friend. All the same he had spoken cautiously, enunciating his words and making sure there was no judgement residing in them.

"Well, I went back to get the last of my things from MTW first thing this morning. I'd gone back to get them the morning of your accident but I left when I found out. I ran into Blake on my way out." Even a week later and with the knowledge that Kyle would be absolutely fine, Jimmy had struggled to walk through MTW's doors. Each step toward his locker had felt leaden as the memory of the last time he'd taken this path ran jaggedly around his mind. Stopping to take a deep breath and screwing his eyes shut to force away the cruelly perfect recollection of a moment he wished he could forget had helped him to the door but no further. The eerily silent room beyond the threshold had seethed with phantom remnants of his brother's death. The memory of how Blake's harsh words had lanced deep across his heart, disbelief and despair roiling up through the cracks as tendrils of icy dread knotted in his spine and fractured through his veins. Jimmy had shoved his things into a canvas bag as rapidly as he could while he tried to forget that morning. Kyle was fine. Jimmy knew that. But he just couldn't shake his thoughts that it would have been much easier with a little cocaine to dull the emotion. There was a bag of it in the corner of his locker, underneath some of his clothes. Just enough for one hit, a few hours of relief. No one had to know. It would be so easy…. He could almost feel the cool rush of the cocaine threading through the emotions, a helping hand to bring everything back into focus. No, he didn't need it. That was just the addiction talking. He would manage without it. But he had to get out of there. So Jimmy had dashed out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him. He'd dumped the hit in the rubbish on the way out. If he'd taken it out of that room he wasn't sure he would have been able to stop himself from using it but this way… he never wanted to go back in that room again. Dumping it didn't stop him wanting though. It would still be easier with a little cocaine to dull the bitter pain of the memories of the day Kyle had died. But Jimmy couldn't let himself fall victim to those insidious thoughts any more. So he had taken a detour to the break room to catch his breath and settle his jangling nerves with simple water. That was when he'd run into Blake. Already off-balance, he'd decided to have a private little chat with Kyle's ex. It might not have been the best idea.

"Jimmy? Are you okay? You went quiet all of a sudden." Kyle could still hear him breathing down the line so they hadn't been cut off. Jimmy had just stopped talking for some reason.

"Sorry. I'm sorry," Jimmy whispered. Sorry that he'd been thinking about using again. Sorry he was so messed up that he couldn't even walk into an empty room without losing control. Sorry he was such a failure as a best friend that Kyle was wasting his energy worrying about him instead of Blake's possible actions.

"For what?"

"Everything. Nothing, I don't know."

Kyle knew that wasn't true. Jimmy knew what he was apologising for. Kyle's voice was soft, familiarity and safety deliberately offered up in his words. "Jimmy, it's okay, you don't have to tell me what you're apologising for if you don't want to. But you can. If you want."

Jimmy responded in a raw tone completely stripped of any artifice. "You don't know this yet but I found out about your death when I was at MTW. It was…" his voice cracked. "Harder than I expected to go back there to get my stuff. I… I wanted, I needed to get high and there was coke just sitting in my locker, right there in front of me."

"Did you take it?" Kyle held his breath as he waited for Jimmy's reply.

Jimmy shook his head raggedly. "No."

Relief surged through Kyle's veins. "Then there's nothing to apologise for." Wanting to give Jimmy some positive reinforcement, Kyle continued softly. "I'm proud of you, Jimmy. For being strong enough to stop yourself."

"Thanks, Kyle." Uncaring of the lack of subtlety in his abrupt change of subject, Jimmy added. "So, Blake. After I got my stuff I talked to him."

Jimmy clearly didn't want to say anything else about the drugs or finding out about Kyle's accident. That was fine. Kyle didn't want to push him into talking about anything if he wasn't ready. That would only make things worse. "Yeah?"

"We just had a little talk. I didn't tell him what to do but I implied that he probably didn't want to be some guy everyone pities because he couldn't keep a guy's interest for a few weeks and then made a big fuss about it."

"That's not exactly fair, Jimmy. Blake didn't do anything wrong. He should have the right to talk to the media if he wants."

"Fair doesn't really matter when it comes to public perception, Kyle. You know that. I heard how angry he was at the hospital and I wasn't going to trust him to choose how people see you. All I did was make sure he knew he might not come out of this looking like the innocent victim if he decided to throw you to the wolves."

Kyle sighed. As unfair as it was, some people might actually think that way about Blake. That there was something wrong with him that somehow led to Kyle cheating. Or at least, as Tom had suggested, people might think that since Kyle and Blake hadn't been serious Blake must be overreacting. "Well, I guess it's done now. You have a point that if he talks there might be repercussions for him too, although I'm sure you made them sound as bad as possible. Did you say anything else?"

"That he probably didn't want to accuse Tom of anything. Or disagree with whatever Tom says about you. No one knows who Blake is and Tom's well liked. I asked Blake whose word he thought people would believe." He hadn't even had to lie about it. After the events of the past week, Jimmy had done his research and Tom seemed to be a good guy. Well respected with little more than a few smudges on his character over a decade. Not someone a young, unknown lighting tech really wanted to stake his untried reputation against. It was lucky Kyle had cheated on Blake with Tom and not the other way around. A little of the protection Tom's reputation offered him would probably extend to Kyle too since Tom was openly acknowledging their relationship. That was good. Jimmy didn't want to see Kyle get hurt even if Blake came forward. But Jimmy was still hoping to prevent Blake saying anything damaging to start with.

"Is that it?" If that was all it wouldn't really cause any more problems than Kyle's actions already had.

"Pretty much. I made sure to tell him that he was free to say whatever he wanted, everything, nothing or something in-between. Like that the two of you weren't serious."

Oh, that's what Jimmy was planning. "So you want him to imply we were both free to see other people. Even though we weren't." Kyle wasn't sure he approved of that. It felt far too much like lying.

"It would be better for everyone."

"People stop talking about him and I get a free pass for cheating. It seems like I get the better part of the deal." It didn't feel right to get away with it. Though Kyle supposed he hadn't, not really. He'd already faced the usual consequences of being dumped and the embarrassment of his close friends and family knowing what he'd done. That was normal. Not having your name dragged through the mud in gossip magazines and websites.

"There wasn't any deal, Kyle. It's his choice, I made that clear."

"Jimmy, I wish you hadn't talked to him. I hurt him enough all on my own." He couldn't leave it there. He couldn't take the chance that Jimmy still felt like he was just one step away from Kyle throwing him aside. Yes, he'd kicked Jimmy out but he'd been trying to help him and he would have still been there when Jimmy was ready to try to get better. But until he knew Jimmy actually believed that Kyle would have to be especially careful and make sure Jimmy knew it was okay. So he continued speaking. "But it's okay, I'm not mad. I understand why you did it and that you meant well. I appreciate that."

"The whole thing was my fault. I got you into this mess and I had to try to help get you out."

"It wasn't your fault. Well, only a little. I was the one that cheated on Blake. That's my fault."

"Yeah." Kyle was right that he was the one who made that mistake. But until Jimmy had said something no one had known. No one had needed to know. That was his fault. Hopefully he'd been successful in his manipulation of Blake and he could minimise the fallout for Kyle. Kyle didn't deserve to be judged by complete strangers for one mistake. He was so much more than that. "I just hope this works."

"I hope so too. Thank you for trying, Jimmy. We'll just wait and see." When Jimmy said nothing in response and the silence dragged out between them, Kyle figured there was still something else Jimmy wanted to say. "Hey, is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"I…" Jimmy trailed off and he took a deep breath. "Karen."

Kyle winced. He'd been hoping to have that conversation in person instead of over the phone but if Jimmy wanted to talk now… "That's still not going well?"

"No. We're managing when we're in character but that's all. Off stage... I'm kind of avoiding her. "

"Jimmy, you should talk to her."

"I don't know what to say. I have no idea how to be the man she sees in me. And I don't get how she can say she loves me when I'm not him."

Kyle didn't know what to say either. He needed to clarify something first. "Wait, she said she loves you?"

"Yeah. The day after your accident. When we all still thought you were dead. I'm not really sure if she meant it or if she just said it to get me down off that railing."

Kyle's heart started pounding. That sounded like Jimmy had been planning to do something terrible. "What railing, Jimmy?"

The strain in his best friend's voice made Jimmy realise how that sounded. He wondered if that's what Karen had thought too. He probably should make sure it wasn't. "No, not like that. I promise, I wasn't thinking of killing myself. Just sitting on the railing of our place, staring out over the water and thinking about you. You know the water's only a few yards down; the worst that would have happened would have been me getting wet."

Kyle squeezed his eyes shut in relief, the thumping of his pulse slowly returning to normal. Jimmy could swim. He would have been fine even if he'd fallen. He hadn't meant to kill himself. "Okay, Jimmy. I believe you. Back to Karen, I don't think she would lie about loving you. So that's good."

There was something in Kyle's tone that bothered Jimmy. "But?"

"But I don't know her well enough to tell you how she really feels. I can tell you that she cares but I can't tell you if she actually loves you or if she was confused by the shock of my death. Or if she thinks she does but really only loves the idea of someone you might or might not be in the future. I don't know. But I do know you won't find out if you don't talk to her." For Jimmy's sake, Kyle hoped Karen meant it. And that she knew her own heart well enough to be able to tell the difference.

"We haven't really spoken since the day of your accident. I climbed up to her window ledge to talk to her that morning before we found out." In hindsight it might have been a better idea to use the door.

Kyle's eyes widened in horrified shock. Jimmy wouldn't be able to see that but he'd certainly be able to hear his incredulous tone. "Instead of her door? Oh my God, what were you thinking?" He didn't dare say it aloud but Karen would have been justified in thinking Jimmy was stalking her after that. You couldn't just climb up to people's windows to say hi!

Jimmy shrugged slightly. It had seemed like good idea at the time. "I wasn't thinking. I was high."

Kyle dropped his forehead into his palm, the phone carefully balanced between shoulder and ear. Sometimes he had no idea what to do with his best friend. "Jimmy… next time please just use the door. I'm sure she'll be happier to see you if you do. An apology wouldn't hurt either."

"Yeah. I just don't even know how to start." He'd just add it to the list of mistakes he'd already made. At this rate he was really hoping a blanket apology would cover most of them.

Kyle sighed deeply, letting the air rush out of his lungs and gathering his thoughts before offering his advice. "However things turn out between the two of you, Karen will want to hear that you're trying to sort your life out from you instead of someone else. Just start there."

Jimmy turned his head toward the door of the room as heard Derek call out faintly for him to return to the stage. Huh, he'd said please. He must have calmed down a little from earlier.

"Damn! Kyle, I have to go. Derek wants me back on stage." Probably he wanted to change some staging and not have to explain the details to Jimmy and Sam separately. After all Derek must have insisted Jimmy stay around the theatre during Sam's rehearsal for a reason. And Jimmy doubted it was just to torture him.

"Okay. I'll let you go. We can talk more later if you want."

"Yeah. I, um, I'm going to talk to the psychiatrist too. This is the kind of thing she's supposed to be able to help with. How to deal with difficult situations without resorting to drugs."

"Yes, Jimmy, it is. Exactly." Kyle bit his lip as pride welled up in his chest. "I'm proud of you, Jimmy. For deciding to tell her something personal and hoping she can help."

"Yeah, well let's see how it goes first." Planning to do something and actually doing it weren't the same thing. Jimmy still felt so uncomfortable at the idea of spilling his private thoughts to a complete stranger. No matter how much training and supposed objectivity she had.

"You're coming to my next meeting, right? I don't know if I can tell her personal stuff without you there."

If Jimmy wanted him there, he'd be there. Just like he always had been. "Of course. When is it?"

"The day after tomorrow. The morning of the invited dress. 11AM."

"I'll see you then."

Jimmy turned his head as he heard the tone of Derek yelling out to him again, far less faintly or politely this time.

"Jimmy, get to the bloody stage!"

Jimmy turned his attention back to his cell. "I have to go. We'll talk more later. After my appointment I guess if tech is as insane as I've been told." Jimmy paused for a long moment. "Love you." He felt a little ridiculous saying that every time he spoke to Kyle but maybe if he said it enough he'd eventually make up for all the times only his silence had echoed Kyle's easy words. Jimmy envied how easy it was for Kyle to say those words, and to mean them. At least it got just a little easier for Jimmy to say every time he did. If nothing else it was comforting to hear Kyle say it back, to hear that his best friend hadn't given up on him. There was something else too. Knowing those words would be the last thing Kyle had heard from him if something awful happened to either of them mattered. Because he knew how exactly much it hurt to believe the last words he'd ever said to Kyle were full of vitriolic anger. No matter what, Jimmy would not let that happen again. He couldn't bear it.

Kyle smiled softly. "Love you too, Jimmy." Kyle didn't say anything else as he stood. He'd known Jimmy loved him, of course he had. Some things you didn't have to be told. As screwed up as Jimmy had been the past months and years, Kyle wouldn't have stayed if he hadn't known. But it was always nice to hear the words and even though Kyle wasn't sure whether Jimmy needed to say the words, to hear them echoed or both, he was happy to help. Unfortunately Kyle could still hear the hesitance from Jimmy whenever he said those words. It would be best if Kyle just kept returning them without commenting on Jimmy's newfound rush of declarations. Kyle just wished Jimmy didn't feel like he had to constantly prove he was worth enough for Kyle to love him, that he deserved love. Damn Jimmy's family for making him feel like that. They didn't deserve him.

Kyle returned the telephone handset to its cradle only after he heard the click of Jimmy hanging up on the other end. Then he padded back to the couch. He hadn't had a chance to mention he'd been looking for Emily when Jimmy called. Oh well, he hadn't found anything yet and Jimmy already knew he meant to look. He'd tell him when he found something. Or when he'd gone through the newspapers and not found her. He'd better keep hunting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hi everyone! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed having Jimmy back again after a few chapters - he's always an interesting but challenging character to write! ~Rose


	21. A long awaited discussion

Kyle ran his eyes across the screen rapidly, flicking to and fro as he researched. He hadn't found her yet. Not any articles about Emily in the few local papers or the couple of national papers archives he'd searched for the few weeks after the party. He'd still have to trawl through the obituaries to make sure but for now he was sticking with news articles. It was most likely that if Jimmy's Emily had died something would have been written about it. A life cut short far too soon by the hand of drugs, or something like that. Kyle hadn't found very much, only a couple of girls that could be her if she'd lied about her name. The other details weren't a perfect match either and Kyle doubted either girl was the one he was searching for but he'd dutifully printed out the photos so Jimmy could look at them and confirm that. Kyle's heart thrummed with hopeful anticipation as he searched through the last of the local newspaper archives. If she wasn't here…

Kyle slipped his eyes down the page as he skimmed through the search results. Then his eyes froze in place as one result captured his full attention and his breath. Oh God. Emily Hastings, 18. Died the day after the party. The cause of death wasn't written in the brief summary, only that her family and friends were mourning the loss of the bright young girl. With trembling fingers, Kyle clicked on the link and waited a few seconds for the page to load. The moment it had, his eyes were locked onto the words, desperately searching for how she'd died. There it was; a rare heart condition. Kyle slammed his eyes shut, dropping his chin to his chest with a relieved groan. His heart went out to family of the girl, of course it did, but more than anything else Kyle was relieved she wasn't Jimmy's Emily. For a moment there he'd thought it was her; that he'd have to tell his best friend that he'd left Emily to die alone in an empty room.

Taking a deep breath and composing himself, Kyle turned his attention back to the rest of the results, systemically ruling them out one by one. When he was done, Kyle reclined back into the couch away from his laptop with a sigh, craning his neck backward and stretching out his back. He hadn't found her. She was probably fine, living her life with little more harm from that party than a hazily unpleasant memory of a mistake she once made. If she hadn't died, there was also little chance the police were looking for Jimmy. That would be an incredible relief, some much-needed good news considering the tough time his best friend was having. If they could just be sure Emily was okay then Jimmy could stop running. He could stop looking over his shoulder and use his real name. If he didn't want to use the name his parents gave him, he could simply keep Jimmy Collins as his assumed name or take the extra step of legally changing his name. It didn't really matter what Jimmy decided as long as he ensured the appropriate authorities knew his real identity. Kyle wouldn't be surprised if his best friend stayed with Collins. It was the name he'd made for himself instead of the one he'd been given by relatives he no longer called family.

Whatever Jimmy chose, it was best to get the official things sorted as soon as possible. Kyle was pretty sure you couldn't get paid royalties without a social security number. Or a bank account. At least not via the normal route. And he didn't want anyone questioning any odd arrangements they had to make in the meantime just so Jimmy could get paid the money he deserved for his hard work on Hit List. It was already complicated enough for Jimmy; he couldn't even open a bank account without his SSN. No credit card either, he had to use cash for everything or ask Kyle to buy it and then pay him back. Even renting an apartment was complicated since he couldn't get a credit check done, something potential landlords almost always insisted on unless they were willing to rent to you under the table for some illegal purpose. Officially, the loft was leased under Kyle's name and he was subletting it to an unnamed roommate. The owner didn't care as long as the rent was paid on time. But Kyle was worried about the future. If things kept going well with Tom, Kyle wouldn't want to keep living with Jimmy indefinitely. And after the scare of his accident, Kyle couldn't help but wonder about what Jimmy would do if Kyle died. Not just how he cope emotionally, but even what he'd do when the lease on the loft ran out and he couldn't get anything under his own name. Jimmy needed to be able to live his life. As long as he couldn't and they kept making special arrangements to hide Jimmy's identity there was the risk someone would eventually notice wasn't who he said he was.

Apparently a few people had already noticed. It was still fairly contained, people from Hit List like Derek or Scott and a few others such as the New York Times fact checker who had been required to scour through Jimmy's sparse history. But Kyle didn't expect that to last if Hit List did as well as he was hoping. Eventually someone would be interested to find out Jimmy's secret and it was better to have everything resolved before a journalist decided to question why Jimmy Collins was hiding who he was. It probably wouldn't be that hard. Kyle was well aware that he was by far the easiest way to find Jimmy. Not directly, he wouldn't tell anyone, of course not! But they'd been friends for a long time and his name was real. It wouldn't be difficult for someone to realise that Kyle's musically talented best friend throughout school was the same best friend who co-wrote Hit List. Asking anyone from any of their old schools would likely yield that information; it wasn't a difficult connection to make. Of course, Kyle wasn't the only way to figure out who Jimmy was. Jimmy's brother Adam could just as easily decide to make a few dollars talking to the media about his brother, spinning the same stories he'd so successfully fed Ana.

They really needed to fix it as quickly as possible. Once Jimmy confirmed none of the girls Kyle had marked as possible Emily's were her and Kyle had confirmed there weren't any more possible girls in the obituaries, he'd move onto the next step. Maybe he could try to contact the family who'd hosted the party. Obviously the parents wouldn't have been home during the patry but if a girl had ended up in hospital he was sure the police would have told them. And shut down the party immediately, most likely. Unfortunately Jimmy was a little hazy on the exact location of the party or the name of the kid who'd thrown it, though he did at least remember the neighbourhood. Kyle sighed, well, maybe he could have Jimmy sit down in front of google maps for a couple of hours and see if he recognised the house from the street photos. If they could get the address Kyle could contact the family. They were bound to know what had happened to the girl and if Kyle had to turn up on their doorstep to find out, he would. Though if Jimmy could just remember their surname, Kyle would much rather just call them instead of having to go to their home. It was frustrating not to have access to the information he needed. Since he hadn't found her, Kyle would bet that Emily had been taken to hospital, survived and there was a police record of that fact since she'd taken illegal drugs. The police could probably find her in about two minutes even with the hazy information Jimmy remembered. But Kyle didn't have access to any of that and this was for Jimmy. So, however long it took, Kyle would try his best to find her.

"Is everything okay, Kyle?" Chris spoke quietly from the opposite couch where he'd been watching Kyle work away, hunched over his laptop as Chris flicked through his own work. Chris was still getting used to the knowledge that Kyle was fine, that he hadn't been killed and that there was no reason he shouldn't live for another 60 years. He still half-expected to wake up and discover Kyle was gone and that he'd better attending the opening night of Kyle's musical without his son. So it was comforting to see him doing something as simple as working on his laptop, even struggling as he was to type one-handed. Kyle hadn't said what he was working on but Chris had figured it was important, and not particularly pleasant from Kyle's expression. He wondered if it had anything to do with Kyle's phone call from Jimmy earlier. He hadn't heard most of it, but he'd overheard just enough of Kyle's half of the conversation to figure out Jimmy wasn't doing so well.

"Yeah. It's just hard that Jimmy's having a difficult time right now and there's not much I can do." All he could do was try to listen. It seemed like so little.

It did have to do with Jimmy then. That wasn't really a surprise. So many of the things that had worried Kyle over the last few years had to do with Jimmy. "Did he relapse?" That was Chris' primary concern with Jimmy in the short-term. As long as Jimmy stayed clean Chris felt sure his son's best friend would be able to work through the rest of his problems in time.

"No, he didn't. It's just so tough for him." Kyle wished he could simply say a few words and make Jimmy better.

Chris replied gently but with resignation. He'd picked up a little about recovering drug addicts in his lifetime. "Kyle, I'd be more worried if he was pretending he wasn't a mess or if he wasn't talking to you about it. I'd assume he was burying his emotions or using again instead of working through his issues."

Kyle's deep sigh reverberated in his chest. "I guess so. I hadn't thought about it like that. It just hard to listen to how much pain he's in. He's worried about taking drugs, about acting on Broadway, he's still grieving losing me. And then there's this girl. Girls, actually."

There wasn't much of what Kyle had said that was a surprise and Chris was sure his son had everything in hand. But there was one thing he was curious about. "Jimmy's seeing someone?" Chris wouldn't have thought that was a good idea for someone in recovery. Weren't you supposed to wait awhile after getting clean before starting to date again?

"Well, kind of, and yes, that's hard for him. Especially since she plays the other lead in Hit List so he's around her all of the time. But I also meant the girl that made start running; the one that made him Jimmy Collins."

Chris focused sharply on his son's face. "Oh? I always wondered why he'd done that. You always said it was his story to tell, not yours, and I never felt like we heard what actually happened." Chris had known Jimmy had changed his name, of course he had. Kyle and Jimmy had been friends for nearly 20 years and he'd used to know Jimmy Collins under another name. He distinctly remembered the conversation when he and Marie had asked Jimmy why he'd changed it. All Jimmy had said was that it was to get away from his family and he'd asked that both of them keep his true identity to themselves. He was Jimmy Collins now. He sounded convincing and given his knowledge of Jimmy's history, Chris had accepted that was both plausible and understandable that Jimmy would want to distance himself from his relatives. Yet when he'd spoken about it quietly to Marie later, they'd both felt something in Jimmy's demeanour wasn't right, that there was far more to the story. It would be a relief to finally know why.

"Yeah. Um.." Kyle paused "I'm sorry Dad, but it's still his story and more than anything, I need him to trust me right now. But I can tell you that I'm trying to find that girl, that it's important and if…" he shook his head firmly "No, when I find her, I think Jimmy will be willing to tell you why."

"All right, Kyle." He smiled faintly and added in a lighthearted tone "I've been curious for so long already a little longer won't kill me."

Kyle cracked a brief smile in return. "Nope." Before he could say anything else, his attention was captured by his mother hastening into the room, her navy skirt swishing around her knees.

Marie's cell rested firmly against her ear and she was nodding in response to whatever the person on the other end of the line was saying. For the last half hour, Marie had been tucked up in Tom's office looking at flight and accommodation options to come back for Hit List's opening night. They couldn't afford to miss another week of work so they were planning on flying back for opening night along with Chris' mother. She was perfectly capable of travelling by herself but Chris still liked to help out when he could and it made sense to fly up together. Tilting her cell away from her mouth, Marie enquired "Hi Kyle, do you have a minute? I've just finished sorting out travel plans for opening night with your Grandma and she'd like a quick word."

Kyle grinned brightly, nodding in response and reaching out his hand for the phone. He'd been meaning to call his Grandma in the next day or so anyway. "Grandma, hi! How are you?"

"Just fine, Kyle. Unlike you, I hear." Her breath caught slightly in the back of her throat "It's wonderful to hear your bright young voice again Kyle. I was so delighted to receive your mother's call to say there had been a mistake and you were going to be okay."

"I'm sorry, Grandma." Even though he knew rationally it wasn't his fault, Kyle still hated that his family and friends had believed he was dead for an entire day. Twenty-four hours could feel like an incredibly long time under the right circumstances.

"That's quite all right, young man. I've certainly been around long enough to understand you had nothing to do with it. Now, your Mom explained about your injuries but how are you feeling?"

Kyle bit his lip in amusement. He doubted he'd ever graduate past young man in his grandmother's eyes. "I'm okay. A lot better than when I first woke up. I'll even be well enough to be back at work in a couple of days for previews."

"That's wonderful to hear. Hit List will be better for your continued presence, I'm sure. I can hardly wait to see it, Kyle." As a lifelong fan of musicals herself, Elizabeth Bishop was definitely excited to see her grandson's contribution to the world of Broadway.

"Thanks. I hope you like it." It was important to him that she did. After all, she had introduced him to Broadway.

"I'm sure I shall." With a twinkle in her eye, Elizabeth added mischievously "Now, I did ask you to send me a photograph of your and your new beau but it turns out there's no need."

Kyle wasn't quite sure where she was going with this; she must have seen some of the media coverage but she didn't actually own a computer. She'd probably seen the New York Times article but that didn't have a picture of Tom. "Oh?"

"My next-door neighbour was kind enough to show me a couple of photographs on the internet. I always did like Tom Levitt's work but it seems you're interested in far more than his music." Satisfied with her gentle teasing of her grandson, Elizabeth finished simply "You look happy."

Kyle's soft reply was as simple as his grandmother's final statement. "I am."

Elizabeth's lips swept upwards, happiness shining out of her own blue eyes as she glanced across at the photograph on her dining room table that showed the same in her grandson's. She could hear it in his voice too. "Good. That's all I really wanted to know. All right Kyle, well you look after yourself and I'll see you next Saturday."

"I will. Bye Grandma." He waited for her to utter her own farewell, hung up the cell and passed it his mother with a smile.

Marie slipped the phone into her purse and returned to her perch on the couch whilst casting an analytical eye over her son. Kyle was definitely looking better today than yesterday, probably in large part due to a good night's sleep without the interruptions inherent to a hospital stay. It would also help that he was clearly comfortable pottering around Tom's apartment. She exchanged a quick, questioning glance with Chris. At his nod of agreement, she took a deep breath and launched into the conversation she'd been putting off since that first day at the hospital. "Okay Kyle, you said you were feeling a lot better after a good night's sleep and we have you alone. You know what that means. You have some explaining to do, honey."

Kyle grinned at the loaded statement. He did know what that meant. "I'm glad to see I'm looking better then."

Marie looked at her son in confusion. She wasn't sure precisely what response she'd been expecting but that certainly wasn't it. "I'm sorry?"

Kyle wasn't overly concerned; it would probably be awkward but then it would be over. He'd been expecting this conversation and his parents already knew most of the story. Plus he'd seen them observing how he and Tom acted together and thought they'd liked what they'd seen. "You've decided I'm well enough to be grilled about Tom. I knew it was coming and I'll be glad to just get it over with."

"I'm glad to hear it. So…" She let her voice trail off, deciding that she'd give her son the opportunity to organise the discussion however he wished. She could always add questions when he was done.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything. I'm less worried than I was when I first found out about you because I can see you that you're happy and comfortable with him."

Chris chimed in "We can see that you care about each other so you don't need to explain that. But I still want to hear why you didn't feel you could tell your Mom and I about him. You even went so far as to introduce us to Blake as your boyfriend. I don't understand, Kyle; you know you can tell us anything."

"It wasn't that I didn't trust you. I do know I can tell you anything. I was embarrassed, I guess." He cast his eyes down to the floor, finding it easier to watch the way the sunlight dappled over the shifting tones of Tom's polished wooden floorboards than to look into the eyes of his parents. "I still am. I'd already disappointed myself by cheating on Blake and I didn't want to face your disappoint too. I knew you taught me better than to cheat on someone and being drunk isn't an excuse; I should have ended things with Blake first." Kyle held up his hand to forestall any response to the fact that he'd been drunk. Kyle continued speaking when his parents obligingly held back from replying. "Tom and I were both drunk so in case you were worried, he didn't take advantage of me."

Marie was quick to reply when Kyle paused to breathe. "I didn't think he would have. Kyle, you know you could have still said something. We wouldn't have judged you, honey."

Kyle pursed his lips, shame still washing over him and flushing his cheeks. "But you would have been disappointed."

She wasn't going to lie to him. "Yes, a little. But Kyle, you made a mistake. That doesn't change who you are and it doesn't make either one of us any less proud of you."

Chris confirmed her words. "No, it doesn't."

"I still feel guilty about it though. I regret that I hurt him."

"Honey, do you regret splitting up with Blake? Is that part of the problem? " She really didn't think it was but felt she should at least ask Kyle to be sure. If it was then she and Chris needed to change course immediately and have an entirely different conversation with their son.

"No, I don't. I did like him. But I think part of it was that I was just tired of being alone. Um, I didn't really expect it to last."

"And you do with Tom?" She phrased it as a question, but it wasn't, not really. She knew her son too well to fail to notice that.

Kyle bit his bottom lip as a slight smile drifted across his features. "Yeah, I do."

Chris interjected "Then don't beat yourself up too much about Blake. You've said sorry and believe me, Kyle, you'll make plenty more mistakes in your life. All you can ever do is learn not to make the same ones over and over."

Kyle sighed, his father was right, Kyle could't change what he'd done but he could learn from it. He wouldn't make that mistake ever again. "Thanks Dad."

Scrutinising his son's still faintly unhappy expression, Chris decided to persist. "Listen, Kyle, if I hadn't been single when I met your mother I might have done exactly the same thing you did." Affection bloomed in his eyes as he looked at his wife. "I'm not saying that I condone cheating; yes, it would have been a mistake and someone would have been hurt. But I can honestly say that if that's what had led to Marie and I being together then cheating would have turned out to be the best mistake of my life."

Kyle let some of his remaining embarrassment and disappointment in himself ebb away. He had been struggling to separate out the emotions of cheating on Blake by being with Tom. The regret and embarrassment he felt at cheating and hurting Blake was caused by the same action that had led to him falling for and being with Tom, and Kyle didn't regret that in the slightest. It was confusing that Tom wasn't a mistake, but the timing of the first night was. Yet if he'd done the right thing and said no that first night because of Blake, there was no guarantee Tom wouldn't have assumed Kyle was turning him down because he wasn't interested. There was no guarantee they would have ended up together at all. He hoped they would have but there was no way of knowing. Only time would tell if his Dad's hypothetical situation applied to he and Tom, but it was a comforting thought that it might. That his decision that night might just be the best mistake of his life. "Thanks, Dad. That helps."

"Good. I'm glad, son. Well, that's all I really wanted to know, so…" he turned his head to his wife "Marie? Did you want to ask anything else or can we let him off the hook now?"

Marie grinned "No, that it. He's done."

Kyle snapped his eyes between his parents in surprise. "Really? That's it?"

Her grin widening at the mild disbelief in her son's face, Marie explained. "Well, the original version was longer; we had lots of questions. But we've had lots of time to observe you and Tom since then; the way you interact with each other gives away more than I think either of you realise. We'd already answered most of our questions just by watching and listening."

"Um, okay then. Thanks Mom and Dad." Kyle wasn't going to complain if they were going to let him off that lightly for misleading them.

"You're welcome, honey. Now, can I get you anything? A cup of tea, maybe?"

He hadn't used to drink tea very often but lately he'd become accustomed to Julia plying him with that drink while she helped with Hit List. "Sure, thanks Mom."

Standing, Marie kissed Kyle on the cheek and headed toward the kitchen, spinning her head on the way to ask Chris if he wanted anything too. "I'll have some tea too please, Marie. But I'll come give you a hand." With that he followed her footsteps to the kitchen, leaving Kyle to quietly absorb the day's events. He was still mulling things over, empty tea-cup long emptied beside him when Tom practically flew into the living room about an hour later.


	22. The trials of friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my wonderful readers, I know, I know, I'm sorry it's been so long! To all of you who are actually still reading this, thank you for your support! (A special thank you also goes out to everyone who has bookmarked, given kudos, favourited or commented on the story!) Given how long it's been, I think you all deserve an explanation. Some of you may remember that I injured my wrist last year. Basically, it didn't heal properly and to make a long story short, doctor's orders meant typing simply wasn't an option for some (many!) months. It is getting better and I'm allowed to type some now, but I have to be careful and not overdo it while it finishes healing. I'm hoping to make it a bit easier on myself by keeping the chapters shorter for while (personally I prefer the flow of a longer chapter but shorter ones will give you guys more reasonable updates. (At least that's the plan ;-) As far as my writing is concerned I really can't make any promises about how often I'll be able to update as it really depends on how fast my wrist heals but hopefully I'll be back to a normal updating schedule fairly soon. It's really frustrating to be able to keep writing scenes in my head but being unable to get it onto the page. (I'm sure it's frustrating for you guys too to wait so long for a chapter!) So, without further ado, here's chapter 21...

Tom tossed his keys on the table in frustration, completing ignoring his guests and heading straight over to where Kyle was ensconced on the couch. Tension had woven itself there and he really wasn't in the mood to play the role of polite host at that moment. Nor would he do himself much credit if he did. The Bombshell meeting hadn't gone particularly well and Tom just wanted to talk to his boyfriend. Alone. Reaching Kyle, he bent down for a kiss, his mood lifting a little at the way Kyle's lips parted automatically and his hand curved around Tom's neck to urge him closer. Mindful that they had an audience, Tom kept the kiss to a brief, comforting hello. Then he leant a little further forward, his breath wisping across his boyfriend's cheek as Tom murmured "Can we talk, please?"

Tilting his head so his lips brushed the shell of Tom's ear as he spoke, Kyle whispered back "Of course." He didn't ask what was wrong, simply took his boyfriend's hand and stood. Tom obviously wanted to talk in private.

Tom's response was clipped but relieved. "Great." With a quick glance to Kyle's parents Tom requested as casually as he could "Please excuse us, I need to borrow him for a bit."

Marie and Chris both nodded in acknowledgment. They had watched Tom storm into the room, clearly upset and obviously needing a little space so the request to be excused was hardly a surprise. Seeing Kyle stand with concern lashed across his face, Marie shared a quick look with Chris. It would be better if they went out awhile and gave Kyle and Tom a little breathing room and made sure they didn't want to overstay their host's welcome. Besides, now would be a perfect time to go out and pick up something nice to wear to Hit List's Invited Dress. They'd rushed back to New York with nothing more than a suitcase of haphazardly chosen clothes and neither she nor Chris had brought anything appropriate. Marie knew that theatre attendees seemed to get away with more casual attire nowadays and surely invited dress would be more relaxed than opening night but she would still notice. And on her son's night, the last thing Marie wanted to be doing is worrying that she was embarrassing him by being underdressed! She'd just let Kyle know... "Wait a second please, honey."

Noting Tom's stiff posture and the way his boyfriend's hand gripped spasmodically at his own, Kyle quietly suggested "Go on, I'll be right there." It wasn't fair for his boyfriend to have to keep up appearances any longer than necessary. Especially not in the privacy of his own home.

Tom shot him an assessing glance, taking an extra second to raise his eyebrows and silently ask if he was sure. At Kyle's confident nod, Tom walked away, the tapping of his shoes receding rapidly against the polished floorboards. The noise ceased with a final muffled thump as Tom swung the door of his bedroom shut behind him.

Reaching out to rest a gentle hand on Kyle's upper arm, Marie quickly filled him in on her shopping plans. "We'll be back for dinner, okay honey?"

"Sure Mom, Dad. Thanks. We'll see you later." Kyle's response was more absentminded than thoughtful, his mind having already departed the room with the man he loved. As the front door clicked shut behind his parents, Kyle was already turning and making his way back to the bedroom. His progress traversing through Tom's home was still stilted but definitely a little easier to traverse with each passing day. When he made it Tom's closed bedroom door, Kyle took a deep breath as his fingertips clasped and spun against the burnished handle, tugging away the barrier resting idly between he and his boyfriend. As he crossed the threshold, Kyle saw Tom pitch himself face first onto the bed, his limbs bouncing up awkwardly before flopping in defeat onto the mattress as Tom groaned. Despite his overriding concern and desire to fix whatever the problem was, Kyle couldn't help the faintest breath of warm amusement that suffused through him at Tom's theatrical actions. It wasn't as though he'd been in doubt before, but oh yes, he was definitely in love with Tom. Kyle doubted that he would find Tom's dramatics so utterly adorable if he weren't.

Hearing the soft snick of the door open and knowing it was Kyle, Tom took a deep breath and rolled over to his back, unfurling his clenched fists in concert with a rush of exhaled air. Tom's hands slid to the nape of neck, propping up his head and giving him the perfect line of sight to drink in Kyle's familiar features. Kyle was dressed comfortably, his ungelled hair flopping over his forehead as his bare feet shifted steadily across the glossy, amber-hued floorboards. Tom's eyes caressed over the curves and angles of Kyle's beautiful face as he revelled in the sight of his boyfriend looking so at home in what he hoped would become their bedroom. The concern and warm affection Tom could read in Kyle's features brought a shaky smile to Tom's lips before he murmured "Hey."

Kyle smiled back softly as he made his way toward his lover. "Hey. Bad morning?" While he spoke, Kyle perched on top of the sumptuous, burnt sienna bedspread and swept his fingertips across the planes of Tom's face. Kyle wanted to give him every ounce of comfort he could impart.

"It wasn't great." Tom rolled onto his side to look at Kyle, frustration bubbling throughout him and creasing his forehead as he sighed. "It wasn't awful either. About what I'd expected; everyone was pleased you were alive but upset that Hit List was opening. Competition for Tonys, you know, Ivy with Karen, Eileen with Jerry and Agnes with everyone. Julia wasn't upset, of course." He even managed to regain a faint smile with that last part. He and Julia had patched things up so recently that it still felt viscerally satisfying every time they dealt with something as partners. It hadn't been long ago that he'd thought that chapter of his life was closed.

Kyle kept his tone cautious. "I understand why they were upset, but you..." He really couldn't help the hesitance in his voice. "I know we said we wouldn't let it affect us but you really aren't upset our musicals will be in direct competition? If Hit List does well, I mean." He still couldn't quite believe that would happen, no matter what he'd confidently said to Jimmy about being good at this now.

Tom was quick to reassure him. "After what happened last week, believe me the only thing I'm thinking about is how happy I am that you get to experience all of this. I thought..." He turned his face into Kyle's palm, shutting his eyes for a moment and breathing deeply, letting the reality of Kyle's presence seep into him. "But you're still here. Hit List will do great and I'll be standing there as your proud boyfriend. I promise."

"Thanks Tom. I'm proud of you too." He was relieved that Tom really wasn't upset at the potential upcoming competition between their work. Not that Hit List stood a chance against Bombshell, of course, but he was still hoping for some nominations. Then he'd be incredibly happy to cheer as Tom won everything on Tony night. Still, if it wasn't about the musicals themselves... Realising that they might be here a while, Kyle added "Hang on a sec, baby, I'm going to get more comfortable." Kyle carefully lay down and settled their bodies together, every tiny shift of a muscle fibre progress in his plan to be as close to Tom as possible. It took him a minute to satisfy himself with their positions, heads tucked together on the same pillow where he could see every hint of emotion as it flickered through Tom's eyes. Indulging himself, Kyle cupped Tom's cheek again and leant forward ever so slightly to drift a soft kiss onto his lips. Feeling Tom gradually relaxing into him with every touch of their lips, Kyle lingered until all of the tension had drained out of his boyfriend. Then he pulled away just far enough that Tom's face was sharply in focus, stretched out his unbroken arm to curl around his boyfriend and continued talking. "Did the team grill you about me?"

"A little, but I expected that." It hadn't exactly been fun but it hadn't been any worse than he'd expected either. Apparently the Bombshell creative team as a whole was so used to hearing about unexpected romantic partners amongst their members that a 15 year age gap didn't really faze anyone. As for dating the competition, well, the Broadway world really wasn't that big. Everyone had dated the competition at some point.

Kyle lifted his thumb to stoke away the tension between Tom's eyes before resettling his hand in the gentle curve of his lover's back. "I am curious what they thought but ... what's really wrong, Tom?" They would come back to that meeting later; he was curious how it had actually gone, how Tom's colleagues had reacted to their relationship. But for now, something else was obviously wrong.

Tom's eyes slid shut in sorrow. "Ivy."

Kyle's first thought was that she might be ill, or injured in some way. That would definitely cause the grief he was reading on Tom's face. "Is she all right?"

"She's fine. It's nothing like that." His lips twisted in distress. "It's just... she asked me how you were, wished us well, said she hoped you'd get better soon, all of that. She asked if I was okay too."

Now he was really confused. Obviously he was missing something because that didn't sound like a reason for Tom to be looking so lost in his arms. "Umm, Tom, I don't understand. It sounds she said all the normal things."

"She did. It was how she said them. Exactly what I would have expected an actress to say to her director. Polite, professional… and distant." He struggled to keep the emotion out of his voice. Not that he minded Kyle seeing him upset, of course not, but if he focused too strongly on how much the distance between he and Ivy hurt after years of close friendship, he wasn't sure he'd get to the end of the story.

Kyle's face twisted in understanding. "Oh Tom, I'm sorry."

"I know we've been fighting. She wanted space and I gave her that. She made that obvious on her birthday.'' His voice dropped to a whisper, each word eking out painfully against the thumping of his heart. "I just had this stupid idea that once I wasn't her Director every day everything would go straight back to the way it was."

"You've been close friends for years, that doesn't just go away because you had a big fight. The two of you will figure it out." Sympathy and certainty radiated from Kyle's features. He didn't know Ivy but Tom was far wonderful, far too easy to love for a friend to give up on him after one big fight.

Tom sighed. "Yeah, I know. I know. And it is better than it was even just a few weeks ago. At least she'll actually talk to me about things that aren't directly work related now." His forehead creased again "But I don't know if it'll ever be the same as it was. I'm used to talking with her about guys and when she didn't ask me about you today, it hurt. She didn't seem to even care that I was seeing you." She'd covered the basic platitudes and that had been about it. He'd wanted more. He'd expected more.

His heart wrenching at the emotional distress Tom was feeling, "Tom, I'm sure she cares about you. She has to be exhausted with all of those interviews, ads and extra performances she's been doing. I doubt she has time to think about anything other than her work right now. She's probably so focused that she didn't even realise she didn't ask about me."

His voice dropped to a whisper, body taut with painful emotion as his hand tucked under Kyle's shirt. "Yeah, I guess. I just don't know how to fix us." His fingers stretched out to plaster across Kyle's back as Tom searched for something to hold on to. There was something incredibly comforting about the warmth of your lover's skin against your fingers. "I know she's upset about the competition, and the rivalry she's had with Karen. Ivy's had such a hard year and I'm so proud of her for sorting things out. I just wish she hadn't managed to sort them out and not include me."

"Tom, I'm sure she only needs a little more time. Everyone fights." Look at him and Jimmy! And they were managing to sort things out.

"I guess I just have to wait." Tom grimaced, the image of Tom the monster strong in his thoughts with his next words. "It doesn't help that I'm pretty sure she's still mad at me about Sam."

"Are they friends?" Wait, that was kind of a stupid question. Why else would Ivy be mad at him over it? Oh, well, he'd already asked, he may as well wait for the answer.

"Yep, best friends. Since she was eighteen." Way longer than he and Ivy had been friends. Add that to the fact that Sam hadn't done anything wrong and it was hardly surprising Ivy was pissed at him over the situation.

"Ah. You said things with you and Sam ended badly, didn't you?" He hadn't heard the whole story but he knew enough to realise it ended badly.

Tom sighed, guilt over that action scurrying its familiar path through the pit of his stomach. Why hadn't he listened to Julia earlier and avoided the whole mess? "Very badly. He could probably hit me with a sexual harassment suit if he wanted."

He had to have heard that wrong. Kyle snapped shock-widened eyes to Tom's own and exclaimed, "What?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed it! I'd love to hear from you if you did (or even if you didn't:-) The rest of that conversation will hopefully be up in a reasonable time frame :-) After such a long break my writing felt a little rusty so it's nice to get back into the swing of writing again! Cheers, Rose


	23. No excuses, only explanations

Tom winced at the shock he could see in Kyle's eyes and the way Kyle stiffened in his arms, eyes intently searching his own for an explanation. Tom cared so much what Kyle thought about him and he wasn't looking forward to Kyle knowing what he'd done to Sam. He had to tell Kyle; the man he loved should know the bad things in his past as well as the good ones. There was a good chance Kyle would hear about it soon anyway with Sam now working at Hit List. It was for the best that Kyle found out about it from Tom himself when he could at least offer some kind of explanation of his actions. He didn't have an excuse; the situation was entirely his fault but at least he could explain that he'd never intended to hurt Sam. He could explain his decisions, however badly they had turned out and desperately hope Kyle would understand. Taking a deep breath, Tom steeled his nerves and launched into his explanation. "I offered him a job, slept with him and cut his part the next day. He dumped me but stayed on at Bombshell as a swing since he'd already quit the Book of Mormon tour for Bombshell. The next time Bombshell needed a swing I chose someone else to go on even though I knew Sam was better. He quit after that." Tom ran the words over in his head and then groaned, the sound reverberating deeply in his chest. Clutching his boyfriend close for what might be the last time after that terrible explanation, Tom squeezed his eyes shut and mentally dropped his head into his hands. Yes, he'd pretty much covered the worst of it but oh my God, he doubted he could have made that sound worse if he'd been trying to scare Kyle away!

Kyle's hand was frozen on his boyfriend's back as his brain processed tried to process the implications of that rushed summary. It sounded terrible and Kyle didn't want to believe Tom was capable of that. Yet it had to be true or Tom wouldn't have said it. No matter how hard he wracking his brain over the next moments, Kyle still couldn't match that behaviour with the Tom Levitt he knew. The man who'd been so wonderful to him; the man he'd fallen in love with... Maybe there was more to the story? He waited for Tom's eyes to blink open again before scanning rapidly from one to the other and assessing the emotions he saw flickering there. He doubted the dread was particularly indicative of anything; Tom was probably worried about Kyle's reaction. What else was there? Plenty of guilt, regret, shame and disappointment, probably in himself. Normally Kyle would hate to see any of those emotions in Tom's eyes but in this case... Kyle found it promising. If Tom had acted maliciously and intended to hurt Sam then he probably wouldn't feel any of those sentiments. It was awful whether he'd meant to do it or not, but if it had been a mistake and if Tom had learned from it then maybe, just maybe, Tom was still the man Kyle believed him to be. The anticipation was sending adrenalin roaring through his system, his brain entirely focused on reading every move Tom made as his heart thudded in desperate hope for an explanation he could live with. Still steadily searching Tom's pained cerulean eyes, Kyle kept his response succinct. "Did you mean to?"

Weakly shaking his head, Tom responded immediately, his voice guttering out across the words, "No, I didn't..." Then Tom blinked in disbelief at the fact that the first question Kyle had asked was that. He'd expected the assumption that he was a heartless bastard to have hurt Sam like that. After all, his best friend of a decade hadn't given him the benefit of the doubt over the whole partnership split and dissolving rights mess. Why should Kyle? Especially not after what might be the world's worst explanation! "You're really not going to run away screaming?"

Kyle allowed his thoughts to ramble on for a minute. He wouldn't be running anywhere anytime soon with his injuries. Screaming or otherwise. That wasn't the important thing here though. Obviously he wouldn't stay with someone who'd deliberately done what Tom had described. Yet Kyle didn't believe Tom had; not deliberately. Now he just needed to confirm his suspicions. Kyle loved Tom and he owed it to him to hear the full story, to hear why Tom had done those things. He owed it to himself too, to make sure he hadn't been so completely mistaken in the character of the man he'd fallen in love with. It helped that Kyle was used to the kind of colossal messes someone could get into without meaning to; Jimmy was living proof of that. Kyle had certainly cleaned up after his best friend enough times to be familiar with the concept of making terrible choices with the best of intentions and having the entire situation turn into an unmitigated disaster. He'd learnt that he had to hear the whole story before judging Jimmy too harshly. Tom shouldn't need as much leeway as a recovering drug addict did but Kyle could still give him the benefit of the doubt. At least until he'd heard the full story including the reasons for the choices Tom had made. Everyone made mistakes. Mirroring his boyfriend, Kyle shook his head before speaking, each word laced with forced calm. "Not until I've heard the whole story."

Awe crept into Tom's heart, the proof of Kyle's affection flowing into him. To be given the benefit of the doubt like this, to have Kyle stay in his arms after what he'd just admitted... Kyle must really trust him. Tom wasn't used to that kind of trust from a boyfriend. Probably because his boyfriends had never lasted long enough to engender it. Of course, maybe it was just Kyle's wonderfully generous nature that led him to give Tom a chance to explain. Leaning forward, Tom brushed his lips across Kyle's with a heartfelt "Thank you," his heart stuttering with gratitude when Kyle still kissed him back the same way he'd always done. Tom knew how much he'd hurt Sam and he hadn't forgiven himself for it. But he did have an explanation. And he was more grateful than he knew how to express that he didn't have to chase after the man he loved and beg for the chance to offer it. He didn't want to lose Kyle over something he'd never intended to happen.

"You're welcome." Kyle paused, adding firmly "Start talking, Tom." Kyle prided himself on being understanding, patient and always willing to listen to his family and friends. Despite the appearance that sometimes gave to others, it didn't mean he was weak and easily influenced. He believed that Tom hadn't meant to completely screw up Sam's career and personal life but he still needed to hear Tom's side of the story to confirm. He needed to soothe the tiny fragment of doubt worming its way through his mind.

Tom tucked his face firmly into his boyfriend's neck, grateful when Kyle's head resettled to rest gently atop it instead of pulling away. Tom wasn't sure he could bear seeing the disappointed that was bound to cross Kyle's face as Tom spoke. His next words were a little muffled by the soft skin of Kyle's neck but they were still audible. "Well, we dated awhile last year. We're pretty different people but we liked each other and we were trying to make it work."

Kyle nodded slowly, his head rocking against Tom's. "As you do."

"Right. Well we broke up when he left Bombshell to take a featured role in a national tour. I didn't want to hold him back so I told him to go."

"You didn't try long distance?" He would have tried almost anything to keep dating Tom, to have more time with him. Distance or not.

Tom shook his head. "No. I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to do. To end it on good terms instead of trying the whole distance thing and ending up hating each other for it." He pulled back just enough to search Kyle's eyes as he smiled sadly "Of course he ended up hating me anyway, so…" Tom trailed off with a half-hearted shrug.

Feeling a little insecure, Kyle enquired "Do you regret not trying long distance?" After all, Tom could have anyone he wanted and Kyle was just a young, inexperienced writer. I mean yeah, he had plenty going for him but in career terms he hadn't made it yet. Tom could have someone who had everything sorted; his career, his friends, his identity, his bank balance, everything. Plus, Sam was a hot dancer. Kyle really couldn't help but feel a touch inadequate next to someone who bend himself in half whilst flipping around a stage.

"No. I regret how it ended, but no. He's a great guy but we're too different; we were both trying too hard to make the pieces fit together."

Kyle sighed, ignoring the stirring of jealously in his heart as best he could. He needed to hear the rest of the story. "Yeah, I know what that's like. Right, so you broke up. What happened next?"

This was the part Tom was most worried about. What he'd done next was bad. It was a hell of a lot worse than any of the dancers who hit Derek with that suit last fall could claim. And they'd got him fired! "I didn't see him again until he came back to New York on a break and Ivy brought him to rehearsal. I found out that he wasn't happy on tour and we both thought there might still be something between us. I wanted to offer him a part in Bombshell so he could stay; unfortunately there weren't any roles left. But that night he came to a Bombshell party and there was this one song Julia and I wrote for one of our failed musicals." He waved his hand through the air dismissively. "It sucked so much we didn't even complete it. Except for this one song written for Nat King Cole."

Kyle thought he knew where this was going. He interjected "Let me guess, everyone was messing around with songs at the party, Sam sung it and was amazing so you tried to fit it into Bombshell?"

Tom really did love Kyle's agile mind. It was making this conversation easier than he'd expected. "Yes. Everyone loved the performance so much and then Ivy said it sounded like it could be in Bombshell. I thought I could make it work and make everyone happy, so I told Sam that I'd make the necessary changes and offered him the part on the spot. He accepted."

"Why didn't you try to make the changes first and see if they worked before promising him anything?" That was the more normal route and it avoided this kind of mess.

"Yeah, that would have been the sensible thing to do. Unfortunately I was so convinced I could fix everything that I impulsively promised it to him. At the time I thought it was the right thing to do because it made everyone so happy. I was going through this stage when I was trying to direct by consensus since I've always hated when the director unilaterally decides everything."

Tom did have a tendency to be a little impulsive at times. Kyle could hardly hold that against him, he'd been guilty of it often enough himself. Directing by consensus though, that sounded like a terrible idea. It sounded like Tom had learnt that the hard way. "So you offered him a part with every intention of doing exactly what you'd promised and creating it."

"Yes. Sam was delighted and we slept together after the party." He looked Kyle straight in the eyes, all artifice stripped away as he spoke with absolute sincerity. "I swear, Kyle, I didn't offer him the job to get him to sleep with me. I would never offer anyone a job and expect sex in return." He twisted his lips in agitation. He really had to tell Kyle all of his intentions, no matter how bad they sounded. "Uh, it wasn't completely altruistic either; I was trying to impress him and I was hoping that if Sam stayed in New York we'd get back together."

He'd get back to Tom's intentions in a minute, when he'd heard the rest of the story. "But then you realised you couldn't fit the song in Bombshell." That really wasn't a question. Kyle knew it wouldn't have fit well in Bombshell. Time was always limited and all the songs had to advance the storyline. Another song tacked in just to give someone a part wouldn't be relevant and would make the whole musical less cohesive, no matter how good the song was.

"No, I couldn't. I should have never tried; that would have been better for everyone. It was stupid; obviously lots of people have input but for a show to flow smoothly, it has to be united under one creative vision. Eileen and Julia reminded me of that and I put the show's interests ahead of Sam's. I felt terrible but the show mattered more than any of us."

Kyle took a second to process that last sentence. He'd known that Tom put his work ahead of his personal life but the blatant confession still hung there starkly in the air. It wasn't considered socially acceptable to put your work ahead of your family and friends. Yet Kyle wasn't even sure he disagreed that sometimes the work was more important than a personal relationship. It wasn't nice and Kyle didn't like it but he understood that was a sacrifice making a hit Broadway show sometimes required. When you put your heart and soul into your work there wasn't always room for personal considerations. Kyle himself had put Hit List ahead of his and Jimmy's relationship more than once before the accident, when he'd agreed with Derek on the new beginning and when Jimmy had been fired. Knowing that Tom had done the same wouldn't make Kyle think any less of him. "I get it, Tom. Sometimes the work has to come first."

"I hated doing that to him, but yes. Then when someone got injured I wanted to give the part to Sam to make up for my actions but I was trying to be fair to everyone and I overcompensated. I gave the part to the swing who'd been with the company the longest instead. I wasn't trying to get revenge on Sam for breaking up with me; I just made another mistake." Tom groaned deeply, shutting his eyes in resignation before adding "That was stupid too. When was the last time you heard of a Broadway show giving the part to whomever had been there the longest instead of whomever was best?"

Kyle just looked at him. That wasn't the usual way of distributing roles, no. Yet he couldn't find it in himself to blame Tom for trying to be fair to all the members of his ensemble. Even if the resulting mistake had just compounded his earlier actions. "Okay, and that's it?"

Tom's eyebrows drew together, guilt still firmly entrenched in his irises as he replied self-deprecatingly, "Yes. Why, isn't that enough?" Surely he didn't deserve Kyle to forgive him so easily.

Tom had screwed up badly but mistakes were something Kyle could live with. Kyle's eyes were soft when he spoke and his hand had begun to run comforting circles across Tom's upper back again. "Not to make me leave, no. Yes, you screwed up. The whole situation was an absolute mess but Tom, you didn't mean to hurt Sam like that. Every decision you made you were trying to do the right thing, however misguided you were. Yes, you could have thought things through more and handled things better. Yes, Sam might have a case for sexual harassment if he chooses to go down that road, though I don't think he will." He wasn't going to lie to Tom, on paper his actions did look awful. Fortunately, Kyle's impression of Sam led him to believe a sexual harassment lawsuit was unlikely. Still, if he did press one then they would deal with it. Tenderly, Kyle finished his own summary of Tom's situation. "Everyone makes mistakes, Tom. You know your actions were wrong, you're sorry and you've learned from your mistakes. What more could I ask for?"

"Someone who makes better decisions in the first place, maybe? I'm far from perfect." He knew himself far too well to believe anything approaching perfection was even a possibility.

"I know. Luckily, I'm not looking for perfection. I'm not exactly a paragon of virtue myself, you know." Kyle pointed toward himself, raising his eyebrows for emphasis. "Cheated on my last boyfriend, remember?"

A hesitant smile washed across Tom's features. "I do. I was there." Maybe his mistakes wouldn't cost him another relationship. Maybe he could trust Kyle to forgive him when he inevitably screwed up in the future. As long as he did it with good intentions and learned from his mistakes, of course. After all, that's all that he would expect from the man he loved.

Kyle couldn't help his answering grin. "Like I could forget. I miss being close to you like that."

"I know, Sweetheart. Me too." But before they could focus more on that, there was one more thing he had to be sure of. Tom's next question was still faintly apprehensive. "So we're okay? After all that?"

Kyle wanted to wipe every trace of unease from Tom's mind. "Yes, we're okay. No screaming or running away, I promise." His lips tipped up further at Tom's resulting laugh before Kyle added with wide-eyed sincerity. "You didn't hurt me so there isn't really anything for me to forgive. But for what it's worth, I do forgive you."

"It's worth a lot to me." Tom's voice was hushed in dazed relief as he finished. "Thank you, Kyle."

Kyle lifted his hand to curve over Tom's jaw, drawing his boyfriend's face closer. His words whispered across the remaining space between them and gusted over Tom's lips. "You're welcome." With a gentle tug, Kyle drew Tom in for a leisurely kiss. They'd talked enough for one morning and Tom probably needed a little more reassurance that he wasn't going anywhere. As Tom's tongue slid across his own with delightful friction, Kyle idly thought to himself that if kissing was all they could do right now then he was going to make the most of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hi everyone, thanks for reading! I don't have much to say today so I hope you enjoyed the resolution of the Sam cliffhanger from the last half-chapter. I'll add a Happy Easter to you all too! Until next time, Rose


	24. Red tape

Chapter 23:

Kyle pulled away reluctantly, leaving his hand curled over the back of Tom's neck, his thumb rhythmically fanning out across the fine hairs and delicate skin it encountered there. He tamped down the desire to dive back into his boyfriend's lips. Or tease his lips across every inch of Tom's neck until his boyfriend was gasping at his touch. Or... Kyle took a deep breath, forcing his mind away from exactly what he wanted to do with his boyfriend as he exhaled. He'd pulled away because both his ribs and abdomen had really started to hurt and they needed to cool down a little, not make things harder!

Tom curled onto his side facing Kyle and settling his head down on the pillow next to where Kyle's head already rested. He'd expected they'd have to take a break soon. Things had been getting a little heated and from the last few days, Tom knew that they'd got to roughly the point when Kyle's injuries began to hurt too much for him to continue, no matter how much they wanted to and how much willpower it took to push away the desire, over and over again. Tom tried to ignore his racing heart as he enquired breathlessly "Time to stop?"

With a reluctant grumble, Kyle responded quietly. "Yeah. I'm sorry." It really wasn't fair to Tom that they had to keep cooling things down. At least Kyle was injured and his body definitely let him know that sex wasn't something he should be doing yet. There wasn't anything wrong with Tom and this had to be torture.

Tom shook his head, protective tenderness rising in his chest. He loved that Kyle was so giving, that he tried to make everyone around him happy even if it was at the expense of his own well being. But Kyle really shouldn't feel guilty for being too injured to have sex. "Hey, don't be sorry. It's not your fault. Anyway, I don't care."

Kyle raised his eyebrows, he knew that wasn't true. "Really? You don't care." Pointedly, he slid his eyes down to drag across the rapid rise and fall of Tom's chest. Kyle took a long moment to enjoy the tug of desire watching the way his boyfriend's chest moved gave him before raising his eyes to meet Tom's cerulean irises again.

Tom gave a light chuckle and answered with an animated drawl, "Okay, fine, so I care. A lot. I haven't been this frustrated in ... mmm... forever." Though at least he'd had a little practice with Sam recently. Still, it was one thing to keep his hands off someone when they didn't want him to touch them. Only a monster refused to do that. It was another entirely to keep his hands off his gorgeous boyfriend whom he was in love with and who responded eagerly to every touch. Especially when he looked at Tom like he was right now, with passion blazing bright in his eyes. But Kyle was injured and they couldn't. With a sigh, he lifted his hand from where it had settled comfortably on Kyle's hip to smooth gently over his boyfriend's cheekbone. Having the man he loved alive and in his arms was incredible, worth so, so much more than the cost of a little temporary frustration. At least they could still be close like this; still have this kind of intimacy. He wouldn't trade that for anything. "And yet, I'd still rather be right here than anywhere else in the world."

His heart stuttered in his chest at the raw emotion swirling in Tom's eyes. When Tom looked at him like that, when he said things like that, Kyle couldn't help but think his love might be returned in equal measure. Just maybe. Mind racing, Kyle tried to find the words to give that declaration the heartfelt reply Tom deserved without kissing his lover until the world faded from existence. With his ribs still loudly signalling their disapproval of that particular response, Kyle let the endless love he felt for the incredible man lying next to him fill his eyes with warmth. Then he tilted his chin to drift a kiss into his lover's palm and return every ounce of tenderness that had filled Tom's remark. "I feel exactly the same. I'd rather be here with you than anywhere else."

The intensity of how much Kyle cared was written in his eyes, and it made Tom's heart start racing anew. The love he saw there... did he dare call it love? No, not yet. And as much as he wanted to trust in that emotion and tell Kyle how he felt, now wasn't the time. Tom could tell Kyle's self-control was as brittle as his own at that moment from the still glazed look in his eyes. Tom wasn't sure they'd be able to keep their hands off one another if he declared he was in love with Kyle and was lucky enough to find that Kyle returned the sentiment. Still a little out of breath, Tom responded to Kyle's words with only a final swift press of Kyle's lips against his own before gathering his resolve to separate just far enough to rest their foreheads against one another. Then he let his eyes slip closed. They'd played with fire enough for one morning.

Long minutes later, when his heartbeat had slowed and Tom felt ready to return to the real world, he pulled away again. A topic change was definitely in order and he hadn't even asked how Kyle's morning had been. If he had to guess, it had involved Kyle's best friend. "So, how's Jimmy?"

Kyle sighed, his eyes tipping down to skitter across the rumpled sheets. "Oh, you know, he's a mess."

Tom shifted, nuzzling his cheek against the arm Kyle still curved around his neck before pressing a brief, comforting peck to his boyfriend's forearm. "I'm sorry." At least Tom was getting used to talking all the time. Tom wasn't used to communicating like that with a boyfriend, which probably hadn't helped in past relationships. He'd only fallen in love once in nearly forty years so this relationship was the one he absolutely couldn't afford to screw up. Someone like Kyle only came along once in a lifetime.

Kyle muttered his reply, his eyes still downcast. "Thanks," before shrugging faintly. "I think he's supposed to be a mess at this point. At least he's still talking to me about it, getting some professional help and he's trying." Hope sparkled in his eyes as he lifted them back to his boyfriend's.

"I'm glad, Kyle. I really am. Let me know if I can help." Tom wanted Jimmy to be okay because he was Kyle's best friend and his health mattered to Kyle, of course. He loved Kyle and would have wanted his boyfriend's best friend to get better no matter whether he'd known Jimmy personally or not. But that wasn't the only reason Tom wanted to help. Jimmy was the real thing, something that came around far too infrequently and it would be such a waste of talent if he threw that away. Tom was already looking forward to seeing what Jimmy would write in 20 years.

"I will." Once he'd sorted through everything and was certain Emily was fine, he and Jimmy really needed to talk to a criminal lawyer. Kyle wanted to be absolutely sure that Jimmy wouldn't have anything to worry about when he started using his real name, or legally changed it, whichever Jimmy wanted. Then there was that contract Jerry's assistant had emailed about, the advance he was supposed to receive, how royalties would be paid, what Jerry would pay them to option the show so he could produce it on Broadway. Really that should have been organised before rehearsals started but everything had been rushed and Kyle had been, well, dead at that point. The thought of the pain that had cost his family and friends, had caused Tom still sent a shiver careening down his spine. Apparently his parents had given their verbal permission as his half of the rights to Hit List would have gone to them but the paperwork had been put on hold waiting for a death certificate. Since he was alive, Kyle now had to sign everything. Jimmy already had, but he wasn't even sure if Jimmy's signed copy was worth the paper it was written on since his best friend had signed with the name Jimmy Collins. Kyle really needed to talk to an entertainment attorney too and sort that out. Surely Tom could help with that. Oh God. And an accountant. Kyle's breathing sped up.

Jimmy wouldn't have filed tax returns for the past five years. Kyle doubted Jimmy had had enough legitimate income to worry about until the last year at the bar but it really needed fixing. He needed advice on whether Jimmy had to formally apologise and pay any late fines or anything like that. Jimmy couldn't afford to have any issues with his taxes when he was about to start receiving potentially substantial royalties. He'd have to organise identification, driver's licence, open a bank account and oh God, Kyle's head was spinning thinking all of the paperwork Jimmy was going to have to take care of. Kyle had kind of blocked out the mess it would cause when Jimmy returned to the land of the living. And Jimmy was hardly in the frame of mind to be cutting through all of the red tape himself. Kyle took several deep breaths to calm himself down, drawing on the strength he felt at being encircled in Tom's arms to assist. He'd take one it step at a time. Jimmy being ready to legally exist again was a good thing. A great thing, actually. And surely Tom could help with some of the people he'd have to contact, like the entertainment attorney and the accountant. Kyle wouldn't have to clean up after Jimmy all by himself this time. "There's something you might be able to help with... but I need to check with him first."

"Sure." Biting his lip, he added "You're stressing out. You know you can talk to me about anything." Tom wasn't sure exactly what it was but Kyle's lengthy silence and his body language may as well be screaming that something was worrying him. Given their conversation, it had to be something to do with Jimmy.

"I know, Tom." He definitely knew that. Tom had made it very clear. "I don't want to keep things from you but this isn't about me. It's Jimmy's story to tell."

That wasn't what he meant. He didn't expect Kyle to tell him someone else's secrets. "I get that, I do, and I won't push you." He smiled softly, his eyes crinkling at the edges at the thought of Julia. "I have a best friend too. I also know you aren't going to talk to him about how much the whole situation is tearing you apart because you feel like he has enough to worry about. So if you need to talk, let me know."

"Thanks Tom. I will. I'm okay for now though." He really was. Just being with Tom helped him feel more settled, more balanced and less like the list of things Jimmy had to take care of was a mile long. Somehow all the obstacles in the world seemed less insurmountable when he viewed them from the perspective of Tom's embrace. With a faint smile, he leaned forward to press another soft kiss to Tom's lips. Kyle really loved that he could do that anytime he wanted.

"Good." He sighed deeply, not really wanting to move but they really should think about hopping out of bed soon. Unless Kyle needed another nap, of course. "We should probably get up unless you need to rest. Or if there's anything else you want to talk about?"

There was still one aspect of his lover's morning he was curious about. "There is, actually. What happened at the Bombshell meeting?" He really was curious and he figured Tom was relaxed enough to talk about it now.

"Well... Julia was great, of course. She took me aside before the meeting started to ask about how you were doing. But everyone else..." He pursed his lips.

"Oh?" He run his fingers from where they still rested on the nape of Tom's neck up through the soft strands of hair to the top of his boyfriend's head, gently massaging as he went.

Tom hummed at Kyle's movement, taking a moment to enjoy the simple pleasure it offered. He was jarred out of his contentment by the insistent ringing of his home phone. Grumbling, Tom muttered "Hold that thought," before tumbling out of bed and grabbing the handset for his landline. "Hello?" After confirming his identity, Tom continued speaking. "Yes Sergeant, he's here. I'll get him for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hello my lovely readers - Yeah, so the plan to write shorter chapters to avoid making you guys wait while my hand healed... that didn't turn out so well, did it? It turns out that the combination of my wrist taking longer to heal from surgery than it should have (it's now about 90% - good enough to do everything as long as I'm careful) and writing in very short chunks so as to avoid aggravating it (often with weeks in-between when I couldn't type at all), plus life in general being rather crazy didn't work well for my writing style. Hello writer's block! Life is still crazy but hopefully everything else is settling down. It definitely helps that my favourite stress reliever, playing piano, is now possible again with my newly (mostly) functional wrist :-) So, after binge watching both seasons of Smash for inspiration and a character refresher, I've loved getting back into the flow of writing! It's still a fairly short chapter but I hope you enjoyed reading! Cheers, Rose


	25. That Bombshell meeting

Kyle listened carefully before agreeing, hanging up on the cordless handset and turning back to his boyfriend."They want me to go down to the station. They think they have the guy who hit me in custody and they're hoping I might be able to identify him. Or his car."

"And if you can't?"

"They're done with my phone so I have to go down to the station to pick it up anyway." He shrugged, eyes dipping to the polished amber floorboards, catching on the iridescent slash a beam of sunlight left in its wake.

"I thought you mostly just remembered the headlights?" It was dark and the headlights would have been flooding his vision; Tom doubted there was much more to remember. Maybe he could remember a faint impression of the shape and therefore model of the car. But it seemed unlikely when his eyes had been adjusted to the dim light of the street lamps and then accosted with high beams. Unless he'd been conscious after the accident. The thought send dread's icy tendrils cracking through his heart. Tom had been incredibly relieved when the doctors had said that Kyle had probably been knocked unconscious on impact and so hadn't felt anything. It had been comforting to know that Kyle hadn't been left lying there alone, terrified and in indescribable pain. He was furious that Kyle had been left lying alone at all. How could anyone hit a person, especially someone as amazing as Kyle and then just drive off and leave him there? Thank God the young couple that lived next to the accident site had heard breaking glass and squealing tyres and rushed out to help. Tom had sent them flowers. And a very expensive bottle of wine. And his favourite type of decadently delicious chocolate truffles. They'd probably saved Kyle's life with their swift actions. A simple bottle of Petite Sirah wouldn't have been nearly enough. But after the truffles he had decided he'd better stop before they replied with a restraining order. Still, they hadn't seen the actual accident and without witnesses the doctor's couldn't be one hundred percent certain Kyle had passed out immediately upon impact. Not trying to remember anything more was for the best, in Tom's opinion. Just in case. He hoped Kyle never had to learn to live with a memory like that.

"Yeah, it's just flashes so far and I don't remember anything after the car hit me. Just the headlights and then everything's black until I woke up at the hospital with you." Kyle shuddered as the broken images played across his mind.

Tom hoped it stayed that way. The car hurtling toward Kyle and his wonderful lover thinking he was going to die was more than enough trauma for one lifetime. Especially when that memory was enough to etch pain across Kyle's face. Moving close, Tom perched back on the edge of their bed and wrapped Kyle in his arms, rubbing circles gently over his back. The motion was as much for his comfort as Kyle's, tactile proof of his life when they were discussing the moment that had almost led to his death. His tone serious and gaze intent, Tom asked, "Are you sure you want to force yourself to remember something that traumatic?" It really didn't sound like the best idea.

Kyle's eyebrows drew together and he responded with shaky determination. "Not really, no. But I want to know that the guy who hit me can't ever do this to anyone else. He could have killed me."

His eyes squeezed tightly shut against the tears welling up behind them, Tom drifted kisses across his boyfriend's forehead, lingering there until the muscles smoothed beneath his lips. Still holding his lover close, Tom spoke tenderly. "I know. And I get wanting closure. I'd like to know that the bastard who hurt you can't hurt anyone else either." He pulled back a little to trace Kyle's cheek with his fingertips. Once Kyle's eyelids fluttered open and their eyes locked, Tom continued earnestly. "But does it have to be your testimony? Can't they test his car, get your DNA off it or something? Save you going through this?"

Kyle shrugged. The police hadn't said. He wasn't even sure if they'd tracked the guy down or if he'd turned himself in. He hoped it was the latter. Kyle didn't want to go through a trial any more than Tom did and if the guy pleaded guilty, he wouldn't have to. "I don't know. The Sergeant said we'd discuss it when I got there. So we should get going." With a sigh, he dropped a swift kiss to Tom's responsive lips before accepting his boyfriend's help to tumble out of bed, swinging his legs underneath him a little haphazardly. Once he was securely upright, he headed over to the duffel bag his parents had collected. Damn, that's what he'd thought. His parents had grabbed the basics for a couple of days but if he didn't want to turn up to Hit List's invited dress in jeans and a T-shirt, he and Tom should really drop by his apartment on the way back. He really needed to pick up his notebooks before returning to work anyway.

"I'll just grab my keys." Grabbing both their jackets from his hall closet, Tom fished his keys out of their bowl and ambled toward his front door. Kyle had popped his sling on but was still moving rather slowly and there really wasn't any point in outpacing him. It was far more fun to walk side by side and hold his hand anyway. Wait, had Kyle said his phone was ready to be picked up? He hadn't focused on that part of Kyle's words, too distracted by the fact that the police might have caught the man that nearly killed Kyle. Now that his brain was catching up with his ears, his heart had started to thrum in his throat. Kyle's cell had that message on it. The message Tom had meant to delete but instead sent accidentally when he'd hurried to hang up. Tom froze midstep in the middle of the building hallway before trying to smooth the motion with an extended rolling stride. Hopefully Kyle hadn't noticed that. He snuck a sidelong glance at his boyfriend's face, seeing his lover's eyebrows raised quizzically at the awkward motion he'd just made. Yep, he was definitely busted. With a wince, Tom started explaining. "Um, yeah, so remember how I said I left you a message. There's something you should probably know about that..." his voice trailed off in embarrassment.

"Oh?" From how adorably embarrassed Tom sounded, Kyle was very curious what on earth Tom had said. I mean, how bad could it be?

"Yeah, so remember how you got distracted by me and walked into a chair? I did something eerily similar to that. Via voicemail." He busied himself with the elevator, setting it to ferry them to the car park and watching the doors shift closed. Thank God Kyle would hear it after he'd agreed to be his boyfriend! Mentally, he dropped his face into his palms. Why hadn't he just deleted it?

He could only imagine that Tom had kind of made a fool of himself from the faint blush starting to colour his boyfriend's cheeks. The single-minded focus with which Tom was operating the lift was also a massive hint. Kyle gave Tom's hand a gentle squeeze. His boyfriend really had nothing to worry about. Kyle was already crazily in love with him and it didn't really matter what he'd said. From what Tom had implied, he'd left an embarrassing message because he'd been struggling to think straight. Because of Kyle. Which definitely made Kyle think hearing that voicemail would be the best part of his day. Still, Tom was obviously worried, so he'd be kind. "I'm sure it's not that bad. Anyway, I already like you. You don't have anything to worry about."

"I like you too." He tried to calm his nerves. Tom was aware he was prone to expressing himself a little... dramatically at times. Kyle already knew that; it would be fine. And after all, Tom had kind of liked it when Kyle walked into a chair. Not that he'd been hurt, or even the action itself. But the fact that Kyle had been so distracted by him that he'd done it in the first place. He'd liked the proof that he made Kyle's head spin. Maybe he'd be lucky enough that Kyle would feel the same way? Until Kyle heard it though, there really wasn't anything he could do.

As Tom unlocked the car door and helped him in, Kyle studied his boyfriend's features. He let Tom reach carefully across his sling to buckle his seatbelt, checking it was comfortable before settling himself in the driver's seat. As adorable as Tom's reactions were, it was obvious that his boyfriend was genuinely worried about his response. So, Kyle pecked him on the cheek and then, as he heard the motor roar to life, promptly changed the subject. "So, Bombshell? We were talking about it when the police called. You were telling me about your meeting."

God, Tom loved him. His boyfriend was just so incredibly sweet and Tom loved that even as new as they were, Kyle could already tell when not to push an issue. Taking the opportunity he'd been granted, Tom pushed his focus from his embarrassment back to his musical and launched back into his explanation. "I was in the middle of telling you about people's reactions, wasn't I?"

"Yep, you were." They'd covered most of the rest of it.

"Okay, so Eileen asked how you were and how I was coping after the accident. It wasn't that Eileen wasn't polite about it. Or genuine, even, as she wished us well. It was just that she was furious about Jerry taking Hit List to Broadway on a wave of intrigue from your accident. She thinks he's only doing it to spite her and steal away the Tony for Best Musical." Tom had hated the reminder of reminder that sometimes, Broadway was a business for people to make money and earn acclaim. It wasn't that he didn't want those things, but he'd just had a massive reminder of how little they really mattered compared to the people he loved. Family, friends, Kyle. It was hard to be faced with the reminder that nothing had changed for the rest of the world. They hadn't lost and then regained the man they loved. It wasn't surprising that all Eileen could think about how pissed off she was at Jerry. At how Hit List might impact Bombshell's bottom line. How Kyle's almost death was some irritating blip that had led to Hit List going to Broadway when it didn't deserve it. She'd wished them well and Tom could tell she'd meant it. Then she'd tried to figure out how best they could use that to Bombshell's advantage.

"I'm glad she's fine with us as a couple." It would be easier on Tom if his producer didn't have a problem with his love life. "The stuff about Jerry, though, do you think that?" From what he'd heard about Jerry, Kyle wasn't entirely sure Eileen was wrong. Still, it would hurt if his boyfriend thought the only reason his play had made it to Broadway was because of an acrimonious divorce.

"No, I don't. Jerry is an awful person but he's a very good producer. He wouldn't throw his money at a project just to spite Eileen." He pursed his lips, as he wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Of course, I'm sure Jerry is enjoying it. But he likes his money too much to invest in something he doesn't believe will be a huge hit."

It was nice to hear Tom's opinion about Jerry's belief in Hit List. "I can't really blame her for being mad. Even if it's not true, it must be almost impossible for her to completely separate the mess of their divorce from their business dealings. Particularly when this is her first solo project."

"Yeah, I guess it must be." He paused for moment, adding "You're too nice, you know that?"

He shot Tom a faint grin. "So I've been told. So, Ivy?" She was probably the one he was most worried about. He knew Tom liked Eileen, but their relationship was still firmly professional. Ivy and Julia were the only two at that meeting whose opinions really mattered to Tom on a personal level. And he knew that things were Julia were good. So that just left Ivy.

"Like I said before, she was perfectly polite about us. For all of three seconds until she focused on Hit List. Ivy thinks that the only reason it even made it to Broadway was because your tragic death was all over the news."

Yeah, okay, that hurt. "Ouch. Well, she's entitled to her own opinion. I'm sure she won't be the only one who thinks that. As for the two of you, she just needs time."

Tom shook his head, muttering "Definitely too nice," as he navigated the car through the busy streets of New York.

"What about Leigh Conroy?" He didn't really want to go over the personal aspect of Tom and Ivy again. They'd covered that already. Moving on from Ivy would be best.

That was definitely bubbles of excitement in Kyle's voice. He let his lips tip upwards at the sound of them. "Mmmhmm, she was there. You want to meet her, don't you?"

"Yes! Uh, as long as she wasn't too horrible." Sometimes meeting your heroes was an incredibly bad idea. If she'd been awful to Tom or about Hit List, then no, Kyle didn't want to meet her.

"She didn't say much. I think between coming out of retirement for the show and the drama with her and Ivy, she's doesn't have time for anything else." His lips twitched further upwards, broadening into a proper smile. It was nice to focus on the positive things he could do for Kyle with Bombshell. "After Hit List is open and you have some free time, we'll go see Bombshell again and I'll introduce you. Maybe even with your Grandma? I did tell her I'd get her comps when she's down here for Hit List's opening."

His heart stirred with warmth at Tom's easy generosity to his family. "She'd love that. And so would I. Thanks, Tom."

"You're welcome." The accompanying smile slid off his face when he continued talking. "So that only leaves Agnes, who apparently thinks it's great that we're together."

"I thought you said she was awful." That and Tom's sarcastic tone didn't match his positive words. Clearly something was off.

Tom shot him a sidelong glance. "I did say that, didn't I? She only thinks that because she wants me to use our relationship to feed her any inside information about Hit List. Anything she can leak that might be damaging to Hit List's chances. I'm not exaggerating; she actually said as much."

Kyle grimaced. "Oh. Okay, yeah, that's bad."

"It gets worse. She also thinks that linking us together might help Bombshell take advantage of the media splash about Hit List and you." The tension in his voice escalated with its volume until it cracked over the acrid words. "Free advertising from the fact that you nearly died!" Tom was grateful for the traffic light's orange glow as Kyle's hand settled over his knee and offered comfort. Tom took the opportunity to stop the car and press their foreheads together, screwing his eyes closed as he tried to control his emotions. "I just wanted to tell them all to shut up, that you were so much more than an opportunity to make more ticket sales."

Knowing they didn't have much more time before the light turned green, Kyle spoke rapidly, searching his lover's eyes carefully to make sure he understood. "Tom, they can think whatever they want. I don't care. Being with you is worth dealing with all of that. As for the rest, I trust you." Kyle wouldn't do anything to deliberately jeopardise Bombshell's chances come award season. He knew that Tom wouldn't either.

I trust you, too." That was as close he was willing to go to saying 'I love you' just yet. Though he really wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to wait before telling Kyle the truth. Still, in the middle of New York City traffic after the emotion of the morning probably wasn't the right time. So he let it all fade away and focused on his boyfriend until the horns blaring behind him blasted him back into the real world. Yep, the light was green. Gesticulating wildly with his hand in apology, Tom muttered, "Okay, okay, people, we're going."


	26. Concussions and police statements don't mix

It wasn't long before Kyle found himself seated in front of the sergeant's desk, going through the details. He'd been ushered into a quiet office, tiny but functional. From the utilitarian blue-grey carpet to the beige walls, it portrayed comfortingly normal surrounds. It gave him something entirely ordinary to stare blindly at when he needed a break from the flashes of memory of his accident. It hadn't helped that the police had asked Tom to wait for him outside while Kyle gave his statement. Kyle would have liked to have someone's hand to hold and he was fast discovering that Tom's offered more comfort than anyone else's. Still, the officer had been great; calming and reassuring as he told Kyle to take his time and not worry if he couldn't remember all the details or identify the suspect. Kyle had been grateful for that since his grasp on the details was decidedly shaky and with the headlights practically blinding him, he couldn't even be certain if the driver had been male or female. The officer had explained it wasn't uncommon for victims with head injuries to have difficulty remembering anything at all about their accidents, so he shouldn't worry or strain himself trying to focus on something he might never recall. If he remembered something, great. If not, they'd sort out what happened via the physical evidence from the car. It would take a little longer but they'd still be able to give him definitive answers. All he had to do was let them take a gentle scraping from the inside of his cheek and run DNA tests. Kyle had no problem with that. It hadn't even hurt.

Tom glanced up as the door between the police station and the waiting room clicked open again. He'd been watching the clock tick by, second after second. Time seemed to be running infernally slowly! There had been a few people in and out, but no Kyle as yet. Oh, wait, that was definitely Kyle's voice he could hear, getting a touch louder with each word as he moved toward Tom.

"Of course. I have your card and I'll call if I remember anything else." But he doubted he would. It had been a tough hour, going through all the details of the case, what the police knew, what they didn't and then trying to identify the man in the car from the photo. No matter how much he wracked his brain, he just couldn't remember. Apart from how he'd felt in that second. That he remembered all too clearly.

"Excellent. Otherwise I'll be in touch when the DNA results come back, or if we receive any other new information."

"Thank you." Kyle forced himself to send the policeman a polite smile before stepping through the threshold. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't make the smile reach his eyes.

Tom took that moment to interject. "Wait please, Sergeant." He moved to Kyle's side, lacing their fingers together for support. He didn't like the pallor of his boyfriend's cheeks or quietness of his voice. They'd get out of here in a minute but first, Tom wanted to hear what the police had to say.

"What can I do for you, Mr Levitt?" Sergeant Wellington stepped fully into the waiting room, removing his shoulder from where he'd held the door open for the young automobile accident victim. It was clear Kyle's boyfriend wanted an update on the case and he shouldn't leave the door propped open. You never knew when a criminal might attempt to dash toward freedom.

"Call me Tom, please." Not that he really cared about names right now. He wanted to know if they'd caught the man that nearly killed the most wonderful person he'd ever known. "Is it the guy?"

He sympathised with the man but couldn't answer that without Kyle's permission. The officer turned to Kyle, asking swiftly "May I discuss your case with him?" At Kyle's nod, he quickly filled Tom in. "Well, Tom, we don't know. We probably won't know until the DNA results come back in a couple of weeks."

"A couple of weeks? It takes that long?" It never took that long on TV. He'd thought they'd have the answers before Hit List even opened. He sighed, why were things never easy for Kyle? Hadn't he been through enough? It took Kyle giving his hand a gentle squeeze to lift Tom's mood a little.

The Sergeant bit back his mild exasperation, keeping his face pleasantly calm. Ever since CSI on TV, everyone thought they'd have DNA back in a jiffy! He couldn't even remember how many times he'd had to explain to a victim or their family that they'd have to wait for answers. He always hated seeing the disappointment on their faces. At least in this case, the young man was recovering well. That always made it a thousand times easier for the family to wait patiently. He deliberately used his calm, reassuring tone, the one he'd used earlier when gathering as many details from Kyle Bishop as possible. It usually helped families and victims to feel heard and safe, that he was genuinely listening to their concerns. Which he was. He just couldn't do anything about how long the tests would take. "I'm afraid so. The lab does excellent work but it does take time. It will be a couple weeks." Which was one of the reasons why they'd been hoping Kyle Bishop might have recognised something. It had been a long shot, though. Victims with head injuries rarely made great witnesses. Sometimes it even blocked out their memories of the hours before their injury. The few details the writer had been able to remember had at least told them it was possible this was the guy; that his car was roughly the right size and shape. Unfortunately, so were a lot of other models of car. They'd still have to wait. "Unfortunately the suspect was high at the time and while he turned himself in and is prepared to plead guilty, he can't recall much about that night, including exactly where the accident occurred. So we aren't sure whether he hit Kyle or someone or something else." In his addled state, he could even have thought an animal was a human victim, though the lab would be able to rule that out very quickly if the blood was human. It was working out which human the driver had hit that would take a couple of weeks.

"Oh. So you won't know anything until the lab is done testing?" It sounded like the driver could have hit the other man who died that night, some other victim who escaped with minor injuries or poor Fluffy the labrador. Who, Tom was sure, would have been rushed to the vet and given the best care. With Kyle unable to recall much, it looked like they'd have to wait for the science to tell them what happened.

"Unless more information comes to light, that's correct. But like I said, we have the suspect's car with blood on it, we have Kyle's DNA to match it to, so we will find out if it's him. He's confessed to driving under the influence of a controlled substance so we've temporarily suspended his licence pending trial on that charge. We'd expect his license to be revoked for quite some time on that charge alone, and of course we're hoping to add additional criminal charges depending on the DNA results."

"Okay." It was a relief that if this was the guy he wasn't going to be driving any time soon, no matter what. At least Kyle would have that comfort. "Thank you, Sergeant." The police were obviously doing everything they could, as irritating as the delay was.

"Anytime. For now, go home, rest, live your lives." He focused solely on Kyle. "Enjoy opening your show. We'll be in touch." With a quick handshake to each man in front of him, Sergeant Wellington slipped quietly back through the door of the precinct waiting room. He had work to do.

Tom turned back to Kyle, his eyes roaming across his lover's face. His colour had improved slightly but he still looked exhausted and upset. "All done, then?"

"Yeah. Let's go, please." His voice sputtered out, weariness coating each syllable.

"Of course." Tom slipped his arm around Kyle's back to rub in warm comfort as they stepped out into the dappled sunlight. "So, how'd it go in there?"

In response to Tom's movement, Kyle nestled in close, sliding his arm around Tom's waist in return. Tom was the perfect height for that, his shoulder just high enough above Kyle's that their shoulder's fit perfectly against one another. "Pretty well."

His tone was corded with tension. "Really? Because you seem upset." And he was still paler than Tom liked to see. "It is because you couldn't ID the guy?"

"No, I hate that I was completely useless, but no. It was just going through everything, trying to focus on every little detail of my memory of that night so I could give a full statement." He'd given one at the hospital, but with the drugs he'd been on and his head injury, the police had asked him to come in once he was feeling better. He guessed victim statements read better in court when they were signed by someone that wasn't high on prescription pain meds with a traumatic brain injury. Even if his concussion was comparatively mild, as far as brain injuries went. "It felt like I was back there, in that split second when I knew that car was going to slam into me and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it." In that moment over and over again, as he'd run the image through his mind, trying in vain to remember more. He pressed closer to Tom with a shudder, shattering pain and icy fear roiling and crashing over him as they weakened his knees. Tom's solid warmth and familiar scent seeped into him and helped calm the tempest in his mind.

As they reached the car, Tom turned them so he could envelop his lover in a proper hug, cradling Kyle's injured body with his own. He buried his face in Kyle's hair, needing the comfort being close gave him as much as Kyle did. Hearing Kyle's words brought everything back for him too. "Oh Sweetheart, I'm sorry. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Glad that's over." His words were muffled against Tom's neck.

Tom pulled back to connect his eyes with Kyle's, laying out his emotions for Kyle to read as an open book. The depth of his love, the whirl of jagged pain, protective anger, and blinding relief that Kyle was going to be okay. "Me too. Uh, will you have to go through it again?" He really hoped not.

"I might. It depends. He turned himself and confessed so if it is him, I won't have to go through a trial. But I don't know." Hope crept into his tone. "It could be him." He couldn't remember anything about the driver, nor much about the car. The rough shape of the car and headlights were hardly definitive or unique.

"Mmm. I hope it's him." Then Kyle wouldn't have to go through the lengthy, potentially debilitating process of a trial and he could just move on with his life.

"Me too. We just to wait and see. Until then..." There wasn't any point in worrying about it until they knew for sure. So he may as well do as the sergeant suggested and keep living his life.

"We wait. And focus on you getting better." He was glad there was something tangible he could do to help until then. Doing everyday things like cooking and cleaning would only aggravate Kyle's injuries and Kyle needed rest to recover. It wasn't that Tom enjoyed doing household chores. He disliked them as much as the next person and once Kyle was better, he'd expect them to split things equitably. Given that Kyle was apparently used to doing almost everything for he and Jimmy, Tom doubted his boyfriend would have any objections to doing half of everything. But right now, Tom liked that there was something he could do to help his lover recover as quickly and painlessly as possible. It made him feel less useless in the face of Kyle's injuries. He couldn't make them better or take away the physical pain or the trauma of the memory, no matter how much he wanted to. He couldn't catch the bastard responsible and stick him in jail. But he could still help. And that mattered.

"Yep. And think about other things." Decision made, he forced his mind away from the memory of that night, trying to pull forward something he'd been intensely curious about even since Tom had muttered something about deleting a message when he was still in the hospital. His phone was practically burning a hole in his pocket. It had survived the crash well, just a few cracks in the screen he'd need to fix but it was still perfectly useable. The seeds of an impish grin twitched over his lips before he muffled it. Despite his reassurances, Tom was obviously worried about that message. Smiling anticipation would only make Tom feel worse. At least until they had been together long enough for Tom to understand he wasn't going anywhere. Not over something as stupid as an embarrassing voicemail. Kyle trailed his hand down his boyfriend's back, curling around his waist before dropping it into his own pocket and beginning to lift out his phone. "I have my cell back."

His heart pounding as restless anticipation and icy dread began warring with his remembered grief over the slot of primary emotion, Tom reached out his hand. Gently, he curled it over Kyle's hand, halting his motion. "Wait until we're somewhere more private, please?" Standing in the middle of a parking garage, they could be interrupted at any moment. He wasn't sure how Kyle would take his message. He'd rather find out somewhere comfortable where they were assured of being alone awhile.

"Of course, Tom." Kyle took his finger off the on button and popped his cell back into his pocket. "Let's go back to my apartment. I'll listen to it there when we're alone and you're not about to operate heavy machinery." He brought his now empty hand up to caress over Tom's cheekbone, each sweep of his thumb across the delicate skin a silent promise that he wasn't going to run at the slightest hint of imperfection. "You have nothing to worry about, okay?" He brushed a sweet kiss over Tom's lips to seal his promise.

"Okay." Tom's smiled faintly as his boyfriend tried to lighten the mood a little and reassure him. He'd be calmer once Kyle had heard the message and not run away screaming. Seriously, what had he been thinking? Oh, right, he hadn't. His brain had been so scrambled by Kyle that coherency had seemed an impossibility. Mentally calling himself an idiot, Tom tucked them both securely into his car and started the ignition. Kyle's apartment it was. Just as soon as Kyle gave him directions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hello my lovely readers, I hope you all had a fantastic weekend! It was a shortish chapter today - I meant to have a second scene with Kyle's response to Tom's message, but I'm just not happy with the flow of that scene yet. Since I'm trying to post roughly weekly chapters, I thought it'd be better to just post a shorter one instead of ruining that plan. Short for me, of course. It's still 2500 words ;-) Brevity and I are not good friends. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and as always, I'd to hear from you! Cheers, Rose


	27. Maybe because you're a teenager

Kyle slid his key into the lock, jiggling it a little until it clicked open. The landlord really didn't care to keep everything perfectly maintained but it worked with a little patience. And he'd been able to afford somewhere comfortable enough for him and Jimmy on their bartending wages, so he couldn't complain too much. Even if it wasn't anything even close to as beautiful as his boyfriend's spacious apartment. Thinking about his boyfriend's warm presence behind him as he closed and latched the door, it felt weird that Tom had never been here. Though if Kyle actually thought about the length of their relationship - just a few nights before his accident, it made perfect sense. As intense as those nights had been and as much as it felt like he'd known Tom forever, it really hadn't been that long in reality. And they'd been trying to keep things on the down low before he'd been injured, so spending their time at Tom's apartment made perfect sense. Tom didn't have a roommate to consider or avoid. So as odd as it felt, it truthfully wasn't strange. Still, it was something he definitely wanted to rectify! He turned his head to bring his eyes to meet Tom's own baby blues as a tendril of nervous excitement coiled down his spine. "So, this is my old apartment." Whoops, maybe he shouldn't have said 'old.' Kyle wasn't entirely sure if he and Tom were actually living together properly or if he'd be coming back here once he was better. It might even be somewhere in between; a kind of month-long experiment that if everything went well, would transition into living together. It was certainly dangerously easy to get used to being with Tom all the time like this when they hadn't really discussed anything beyond him staying there for now. He couldn't help but think that he wouldn't ever want to leave. But Kyle wasn't sure they could technically be living together when he had his name on a separate lease. Scrambling, he added "My apartment with Jimmy, I mean. That I've lived in for the past year." There, that wasn't quite so... definitive.

Tom's heart skipped a beat at Kyle's description, warmth zipping through his veins as he quickly replied, "It's great. You've really made the most of the space." Kyle had, the way he'd stacked their beds and given them as much living space as possible. But more importantly, if his boyfriend thought of this as his old home, maybe he'd started thinking of Tom's place as his current home. Tom certainly knew he had. He'd already made a few slips in the privacy of his own mind. Kyle fitted into his life so easily it was hard to think of his apartment as anything less than theirs. If Kyle felt the same, maybe he wouldn't care about Tom's complete disaster of a voicemail.

Kyle was suddenly a little embarrassed with the bright light illuminating the flaws of his apartment. He and Jimmy didn't even have their own bedrooms, just a bed each and the privacy offered by some makeshift curtains. His loft was tiny, not like Tom's beautiful apartment. He didn't even have a bedroom, let alone a double bed. Feeling a touch insecure at the obvious disparity in their circumstances, he started rambling "Um, so I know it's not much and it's not exactly spacious but mmph..."

At Kyle's obvious apprehension, Tom cut him off by gliding his lips sweetly across Kyle's. He really didn't care about Kyle's crappy apartment. It wasn't even as bad as he'd thought it would be. He remembered what it was like to be 24 and broke, and in Kyle's situation, having to cover Jimmy as well, he hadn't expected much. It was certainly a lot nicer than his apartment had been before his first successful musical. It was probably in part the open plan design, as he could see there weren't actually any bedrooms. He reiterated his opinion. "It's great. Don't be embarrassed. Kyle, I don't care that you have a small apartment. " He grinned at him and joked "You have a piano, so I'm all set!"

Kyle grinned back "That would be enough to make you happy."

"Yep. I'm easy that way." He enjoyed Kyle's brief huff of amusement at his double entendre and accompanying wink before straightening his spine with a deep breath. Tom wished they could continue bantering or he could dash over to the piano and serenade Kyle with something until they both forgot about everything else. But it would only delay the inevitable. With dread chasing every remnant of warmth from his body, Tom gestured toward Kyle's phone, still ensconced in his jeans pocket. He tried to keep his tone lighthearted and unstrained, but he knew he hadn't succeeded. "So, where were we..." He just wanted to get this over with. It felt like it had been hanging over his head for days now! They'd covered pretty much all of the secrets between them. The mess with Sam. Tom's history with relationships. Blake. Whilst Tom hadn't heard the full story on Jimmy, that was Jimmy's secret, not Kyle's. There really weren't any more big secrets between them. Not that this was a big secret. But as sweat beaded on his upper lip and his breakfast curdled in the base of stomach, it felt like it was. As lightning fast as they were moving they were still in the early, impressing one another stage. And he wasn't sure if he would have called back a man that left that message if he'd been in Kyle's place. He might have decided that potential love interest was completely crazy and he'd be better off leaving things well alone.

Kyle had been about to check his messages. That's where they'd been. Kyle was so curious about the one from Tom that his cell was practically burning a hole in his pocket. Casting a careful look at Tom's face, Kyle wondered if offering him a drink would help. It was too early in the day for a glass of wine to help his adorably flustered boyfriend calm down a little, but he could manage tea. One-handed would be a challenge, but he'd get there. Coffee was out though; he didn't think Tom needed any more caffeine at the moment. "Do you want tea first? Water? Anything?"

"I'm fine, thanks Kyle. Let's just get this over with." His heart thudded heavily in his chest as adrenalin sent his blood rushing through his ears, drowning out outside noise in a cacophony of movement. He wondered how it was possible Kyle couldn't hear that. He knew it wasn't possible his unease had escaped Kyle's attention.

It was obvious the only way he was going to get Tom to relax was to listen to the message. The fact that it would satisfy his own curiosity was a bonus. Since Tom had compared it Kyle being so dazzled that he'd walked into a chair, Kyle had the feeling that listening to a message with a completely flustered Tom might just be the best part of his day. "Okay, baby." He sat down carefully on his couch, ignoring the creaking of his ribs at the give in the threadbare material and lackluster support. Patting the seat cushion next to him in invitation to his lover, he added gently, "It'll be fine."

Apprehension scrawled across his face and creeping into his voice, Tom replied tightly, "Yep." Sure it would. He'd believe that once it actually happened. Gingerly, Tom sat down, sitting close enough that the outer planes of their thighs rested firmly against one another. Even as apprehensive as he was about Kyle's reaction, the touch calmed him.

He could practically feel the tension radiating off Tom as his fingers grasped his cell and inched it out of his pocket. Fingers deftly turning it on, he ignored the rush of texts arriving in his mailbox and went to his voicemail. It took a minute to get to the message he wanted. There were a few other messages mostly asking where he was. Two from Jimmy, the latest one with his best friend saying little more than 'I love you and I'm so sorry I never told you,' complete with gasps of tears, and a second, earlier one which sounded angry and vitriol filled. There was a couple from others too that Kyle quickly saved so he could reply to them later. They could wait. Tom's message couldn't. As soon as Tom's voice started sputtering through the tinny speaker of his cell, Kyle rapidly tapped on the speaker phone and let it rest on his lap so he could settle his hand over Tom's.

"Hey. It's Tom. Umm, I thought we were gonna... meet up last night, but uh, I never heard from you. Listen, if you're not interested, uh, I guess I'll understand but just... let me know. Ugh, I feel like a teenager. Maybe because you're a teenager. Oh, my God! I'm going to delete this and re-record. Click."

Tom held his breath as he waited for Kyle's response. It felt like a lifetime before Kyle's eyes lifted to his.

"Oh, wow." Kyle tried to hide his bubble of startled amusement with a cough, just in case it turned into a laugh. He didn't think it would, but laughing would definitely deeply hurt his lover's feelings. And Kyle knew he sometimes let a short burst of inappropriate laughter escape when he was surprised. Like at Bombshell's invited dress when JFK's ring was caught on Ivy's dress. He couldn't afford to do that now. That message, well, he'd known it was bad from Tom's obvious worry but yeah, that ranked highly amongst unfortunate voicemails. Even by his own sometimes rambling standards.

At Kyle's wince of pain as the cough aggravated his lungs, the dread deepened in the pit of his stomach. He'd known it wouldn't go well. "Just laugh. Don't hurt yourself by coughing." He'd rather Kyle caused him the emotional pain of his boyfriend laughing at him than the physical pain Kyle would feel trying to cover it by coughing.

He leant forward to press a reassuring kiss to the corner of Tom's mouth. "I'm sorry, I was just startled. I'm not going to laugh at you, I promise." He gave Tom's knee a gentle squeeze, hoping to ease the pained retreat he could read in Tom's gorgeous irises. "That was quite a message." He could only assume that Tom had been distracted for some reason when he'd been about to delete the message. "I guess you didn't re-record?"

"Uh, no. Ivy walked in, I was embarrassed, so I just hung up automatically. Which sent my message..." He'd spent the next hour or so kicking himself over that. Then the police had called back and he would have given anything for Kyle to have heard that message a thousand times if it meant he was alive. Kyle's life was definitely worth this moment, right now, when that was actually coming true.

"I'm glad it did, Tom." He let the truth of that shine through his eyes. He really was. Obviously, he wished that Tom hadn't been called back with the news that Kyle was dead, but he was glad Tom had made a mistake and not deleted the message. It was definitely something he was glad he had the chance to hear.

"Why? It's a disaster." He wasn't sure he would have done a worse job if he'd tried! "I'm not sure I've ever left a worst message on a man's phone!"

"Apparently you've never drunk dialled anyone." With embarrassment seeping into his own tone, he added self-deprecatingly, "I've said worse. But back to your message, I'm glad I got to hear it because it proves that you were crazy about me before my accident." There'd been a tiny voice of worry in his mind that part of Tom's response to him had been driven by grief. Now he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that it was genuine. All his accident had done was make Tom willing to display that emotion openly.

His brow furrowed deeply. He'd thought he'd been clear about his feelings and he definitely didn't want Kyle to feel unsure in their relationship. He might not be ready for 'I love you' just yet, but Kyle had to know that he cared. It was important Kyle knew that, that he felt secure in how Tom felt about him. His tone filled with urgent veracity, Tom locked his gaze onto his lover's and spoke with conviction. "I thought I'd made that clear. I am crazy about you. I was crazy about you before you were hurt too."

"No, no, you were clear. But there was this tiny part of my brain that worried that maybe it was just the accident. Part of me was terrified that we were moving so incredibly fast because we were so affected by the fact I nearly died."

He could understand that worry. There was a reason that people who'd had near death experiences were advised to be careful about making life-altering decisions in the first days and weeks after their accidents. "Listen, I can't pretend that you dying didn't affect how I feel about you. But it didn't make my feelings stronger. What it did was strip away all the stupid little things that don't matter and let me realise how deeply I cared."

"The little things?"

"You know, everyday drama that seems so important in that moment but really means nothing." His voice was painfully earnest. "Your accident tore away those distractions and made the things that really matter so incredibly clear." It would have been impossible in the face of Kyle's death not to assess what actually mattered in his life. The reminder of how short life truly had just cleared away all the little things. He didn't think he'd seen life more clearly in a long time. "I know that sense of clarity will fade. But the depth of my feelings won't."

He understood that. His near-death experience had given him the same clarity it had offered Tom. "I get that. But..." His voice trailled off in indecision. There was one thing about that message that had bothered him. Otherwise it was kind of sweet Tom had been so scrambled over him.

"But what?"

"Was one of those distractions our age difference? Because the only thing that worries me about that message is the implication you think I'm too young for you. Do you?" He searched Tom's eyes seriously, looking for any sign that Tom thought that. Kyle didn't care that Tom had put his foot into his mouth and called Kyle a teenager. But if Tom really did think that Kyle was too young, it could become a major impediment to the success of their relationship. It would be hard for either of them to feel secure in a relationship when that was always there. They had to feel like equals or it would never work.

Tom sighed, trying to explain why he'd chosen that description even though he'd been well aware of Kyle's age. "Maybe a little. I don't know, I don't feel like you're too young for me. How can you be when it feels so right to be with you? But I do worry that others might think that I'm robbing the cradle." He bit his lip and Kyle jumped in before he could add his final concern.

Kyle shook his head rapidly. He couldn't care less about that. "Screw them."

"It's easy to say that now. But what about in 10 years, 20 years? Will you regret it then?" That was what he was most worried about. Kyle could have anyone he wanted. What if in time Kyle decided he wanted someone his own age?

He felt his heart skip a beat at Tom's unintentional slip that he wanted to be with Kyle in twenty years. It boded well that they both wanted that. But he couldn't focus on that; he had to respond to Tom's concerns. "So it's not other's opinions of our ages that really bothers you? It's mine."

Tom's lips twisted in pained agitation. "Yeah. I can ignore the rest. But you... " His voice stuttered out. In twenty years, Kyle would still be in his forties while Tom would be firmly approaching retirement age. Would Kyle still want him then?

Kyle slid his hand over to Tom's thigh, stroking slowly up and down across his knee and quadriceps as his eyes kept steadily watching Tom's. "Then let me promise you, I don't care that you're older than me. I don't care now and if I'm lucky enough to be with you in 20 years, I won't care then. Being with you feels right and I can't imagine that changing."

His eyebrows drawing together as his heart stuttered at Kyle's easy acceptance of the long-term potential of their relationship, Tom whispered, "Really?"

"Really. Age isn't the same as maturity, Tom and I haven't been a child since Jimmy's 14th birthday."

"What happened? For most people it's more of a slow realisation over years than a specific date."

The old pain of that wound still had some jagged edges. "For me it's more like a brick wall. One day I was a child whose biggest worries were if I'd pass that math test next week and the drama of not knowing whether the cute boy in English class liked me back. The next day I found out Jimmy's father's idea of a birthday present was a beating to somehow make him into more of a man and my insular little world just shattered into a million pieces." In the face of that reality, he'd grown up. Fast.

Oh God. He known Jimmy's childhood had been abusive but he hadn't really thought about how earth-shattering finding out would have been for Kyle. Of course he remembered the day he found out. And of course that day marked the end of his childhood innocence. His voice tender as his concern for the man he loved swamped his own apprehensions, Tom murmured, "That would have made you grow up far too fast."

"It did. It changed me. Even the last couple years there's been times Jimmy's been completely reliant on me." He'd had to take care of him, clean up after him, be there no matter what the hour was, pay his bills, make sure he ate properly and saw a doctor. "All of that isn't something most guys my own age have the life experience to understand. So no, I don't care that you're older than me, Tom. I love that you are." Most guys his own age were still enjoying being young and carefree. He felt like that sometimes too. But he needed someone who understood that sometimes that wasn't enough.

"What you've done for him, it's amazing. Incredibly admirable." He loved that Kyle was such a wonderful person. It made him want to be a better man. His best self.

Kyle looked down, a faint smile appearing on his lips at the encouraging praise from the man he loved. There had been guys before who'd been threatened by Jimmy, threatened by what Kyle was willing to do for him. Tom understood that Jimmy was his best friend and that kind of love could also be unconditional. With heartfelt appreciation, he replied softy, "Thank you. He's family."

Tom just nodded. 'I know." A deep breath and he added "So we work because you're very mature for your age and I'm a little immature for mine?" He wasn't entirely sure he liked the sound of that.

"Pretty much." An impish grin crept on his face. "You're young at heart, Tom. I love that. We wouldn't work if you weren't." If Tom was mature for his age it would have been a problem. As it was, from now on they'd have shared experiences. He'd expect that if things worked and they stayed together for a long, long time, they'd mature at similar rates. So no, he genuinely didn't care about the age gap. And he was glad he could see in Tom's eyes the growing confidence that Kyle really meant that.

Tom returned his lover's cheerful grin. He could live with being immature if it meant he could relate to Kyle. "I can live with that." His lips still upturned he lifted his hand to Kyle's cheek and with a peaceful sigh, kissed the man he loved before slipping his hand to the nape of Kyle's neck and resting their foreheads together. As he just breathed, all the anxiousness he'd felt over that message melted away and he was left with relief and contentment.

With his breath ghosting over Tom's lips, Kyle replied in kind with a murmur "Me too." Then he joined Tom in comfortable silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Four reasonably timed chapters in a row - I'm proud of myself :-) I'm also proud that this chapter brings us past 75,000 words of actual story text! So thanks for reading and I'd love to hear from you. As always, a special thanks to everyone who's bookmarked, followed, given kudos and of course, reviewed. (I love reviews :-) Cheers, Rose


	28. A little R & R

With a deep sigh, Kyle pulled away from Tom's embrace. He still had things to do this afternoon. "I should really get packing." Hmmm, general clothes for the next week at least, some more formal clothes for Hit List's invited dress and previews. Maybe something for opening night? Though after the advance on his royalties came through, he might be better off buying himself a new suit for opening night. Trying to support himself and Jimmy, he hadn't had the money to justify buying a good suit when he almost never needed one. He'd been able to cobble something acceptable together when needed for formal events but Kyle was aware that most of the time the result was hardly stylish. He was glad he'd gone all out for Bombshell's opening night though. That had definitely been worth it when it had garnered Tom's attention. Still, he remembered what had made Karen look like she fit right in with everyone at the Liaison's opening night. It wasn't her confident attitude, although of course that had helped. But it was that she'd worn a fantastic dress and all the glamorous accessories to go with it that had really made her fit in. He wished the world wasn't as visual as it was but it didn't change the fact that perceptions mattered. He wanted to look like he belonged too. Who didn't? Especially now that he'd be attending with Tm Levitt on his arm. He really didn't want to look like they didn't belong together and Tom always looked fantastic at those things. So he should probably think about getting a new suit for opening night. But he didn't have to think about that today and the more casual invited dress he could get away his current wardrobe.

"Okay. What can I do?"

"Can you grab that suitcase over there? Thanks." Heading determinedly toward his wardrobe, Kyle reached over his head, trying to grab one of his sweaters from the top of the cordoned off shelving he and Jimmy used as a closet. "Ow. Damn it!"

Tom grimaced in sympathy as he watched Kyle tuck his good arm close to his chest and just breathe for a minute. Kyle packing clearly wasn't going to work, though honestly he could have told Kyle that before he started. Hauling Kyle's battered grey case down from it's perch and dropping the suitcase at Kyle's feet, Tom remarked, "Okay, new plan. Why don't you sit over there, look gorgeous and tell me what to pack."

With a rueful tilt to his grateful smile, Kyle muttered, "Yeah, that's a good idea. Thanks, Tom. Don't know what I'd do without you." His voice was all lighthearted banter but his eyes spoke to the truth of his claim. With a groan, he toed off his shoes and sank deep into the familiar weave of his blankets, propping himself up comfortably on his pillows as his feet crossed naturally in front of him.

He hoped Kyle would never have to find out what that felt like. Tom stepped over to his lover, leaning down for a swift kiss. He coud hardly leave that unanswered in some way. Sometimes a simple kiss said more than words ever could. A second quick kiss and he returned to Kyle's closet. He'd like to get home sooner rather than later.

Once he'd gathered the requested basics from the various locations in Kyle's apartment, Tom enquired "Is that everything?" He'd been hunting through every room in the apartment by now. Not that there were many of course. But he was pretty sure Kyle was covered for clothes and other necessities for quite awhile. Hopefully the next time he was here packing up Kyle's things, he'd be moving the other man into his apartment. Permanently.

"Almost. I can't see my Hit List notebook anywhere." He'd scanned the room carefully but couldn't even see the corner peeking out from of Jimmy's haphazardly discarded jackets. Maybe it was completely buried under something.

Tom chimed in "Oh, it's not here. It's at my place. You left it there the last time you stayed the night before your accident. Afterwards I stored it with mine." Wincing as the memory of the last time he'd held that notebook crashed into him with remembered grief, Tom realised there was something he'd better add. "Uh, about that... just ignore the tear stains." It had been all he'd had of Kyle's to remember him by. Once he'd gone home alone after dimming the lights of Broadway for Kyle, the tear stains had been inevitable.

His heart squeezed painfully in his chest. "Tom, I..."

With firm insistence, Tom locked his eyes to his boyfriend's and gently reminded him, "Not your fault." There was nothing to apologise for when Kyle had zero influence in being wrongly reported dead. There would never be anything for Kyle to apologise for in that regard, though Tom knew Kyle felt guilty because of the pain it had caused those closed to him. So Tom would remind him as many times as he had to that it was not even remotely Kyle's fault.

His eyes were painfully earnest when he replied just as firmly. "It doesn't matter. From your point of view, I died. That's something we both have to live with."

"I know. I know. But I'm okay. I have you back. I'm just focused on getting you better and your show open." After all, Kyle was the one who'd nearly died. Yes, Tom has grieved for him, but he knew now that was nothing more than a misapprehension. Tom should be completely fine, shouldn't he? He twisted his lips together in agitation.

The concern in his eyes deepened as the distress displayed on his boyfriend's face. He'd been aware Tom had been fairly light on the details of that 24 hours after his accident, but he'd just figured Tom would talk about it when he was ready. He'd mentioned bits and pieces of course, but there were a lot of gaps. "Tom, I'm not sure that's the best idea. Talking to you about what happened to me that night helps. For you, it was still traumatic, just in a different way." He thought it might have even been worse for his friends and family. Kyle had one terrifying moment when he'd known that car was going to hurtle into him; felt sure he was going to die and nothing could stop it. It had shaken him to the core and he doubted he would ever forget the crystal clarity of that moment. But from his perspective, the very next moment he'd woken up in the hospital with Tom and his parents at his bedside. As much physical pain as he'd been in, the very next moment he'd known he was going to be okay. His friends and family had suffered through 24 hours of emotional torment. That was still trauma.

He knew Kyle was right. He'd had to keep it together for both of them the past week or so when Kyle had been so badly hurt. Tom needed a little more time for himself too, a little more distance before he delved into exactly how it had felt to lose the wonderful man in front of him. For now he just wanted to focus on taking each day at a time. "I know, and I will, but I'm not ready, Kyle."

As much as he wanted to help Tom through this, pushing him when he wasn't ready would make things worse, not better. Calmly, he offered, "Okay. Let me know where you are."

"Of course." He wasn't sure he could have that discussion without confessing how much he loved Kyle. But he'd tell Kyle when he was ready.

If Tom wasn't ready to talk about it, he wouldn't push. There were other forms of comfort he could offer. "You know, I'm all packed now. My notebook was the last thing." He dragged his gaze deliberately across every corner of the room. "We're all alone, we have this comfy bed..." He raised his eyebrows suggestively at Tom. "We could have some fun. I could make you feel better; thank you for your help..." Kyle let his sentence trail off, loaded with suggestion.

Tom let the memory of that terrible day fade back into the shadowy corners of his mind as he focused on the brightness of Kyle's sparkling eyes. With a flirtatious lilt, he agreed, "It would be a shame to waste the opportunity to make out in your bed." They hadn't done that before. Locking his eyes onto Kyle's, Tom strode over to his boyfriend's side, perching carefully on the bed and joining their lips together. After only a few gentle pecks, he felt Kyle's hand curl under his arm and flatten over his shoulder blade and his boyfriend's weight shift backwards toward the bed. Pulling away for a moment, Tom murmured "Mmm, you have the best ideas" and slid his arm around Kyle's shoulders, fingers firm where they grasped his shirt as his other palm flattened at the base of Kyle's spine. That way he could help Kyle control their descent and reduce pressure on Kyle's injuries at the same time. Once Kyle was safely horizontal, Tom curled up on his side next to him. They'd worked out swiftly at the hospital that this position worked well for kissing as they could be close and Kyle very stable without Tom putting pressure on any of his injuries. At least Kyle's bed was wider than the hospital bed he'd been in, so Tom even had a little more room to manoeuvre. With that final thought, he brought his lips back to his lover's.

They were so close now, Tom's breath fanning across his lips as they lay curled up together, tension building over long minutes as their lips clung together. Gasping, Kyle tore his mouth away from his boyfriend's, dropping his head backward into the pillow and groaned out, "This might have been a bad idea." With the warmth of Tom's fingers still echoing across his skin, pulling away from Tom seemed like an impossible act but his ribs really were started to hurt. And Tom would probably stop them in a minute anyway. His boyfriend was getting very good at reading when Kyle needed a breather. Almost annoying good. Kyle wouldn't have minded pushing his own boundaries. Just a little.

"You feel amazing. It was a good idea." Tom slipped his hand under the hem of Kyle's shirt to splay possessively over his lover's lower stomach before curving comfortably over the arch of Kyle's hipbone. Then he dropped his head to the hollow between Kyle's neck and right shoulder, brushing his lips over the crest of Kyle's collarbone where his loose shirt had dropped backward away from the skin. He moved higher to drift kisses across each freckle on Kyle's throat, enjoying the way the cute little imperfections helped him map out where Kyle was most responsive. With enough time he'd be able to map out every inch of Kyle's skin, every dip and every response. Freckles or not. But they'd only done this handful of times and he was still learning. Kyle's freckles gave him a ready-made roadmap to follow on his lover's throat. "Yep, no, too good an idea." Careful not to apply too much pressure, he turned his face into Kyle's neck, splitting the weight of his head between the pillow and tucked in the hollow of Kyle's collarbone. He waited a moment for Kyle to let him know if that was uncomfortable. Tom had been thinking about it and he thought it would work as long as none of the weight of his head dropped onto Kyle's ribs. Some resting across his boyfriend's collarbone and then the rest being supported by the pillow should work. At no sign of discomfort from his lover, Tom let his eyes slide shut, trying to slow his breathing and push back his desire. He was desperately trying to convince himself to focus on simply enjoying being close to Kyle and not on how frustrating it was to stop. He took another deep breath and huffed it out, relaxing bonelessly into his boyfriend as Kyle's arm curved around his back and held him close, drifting idly back and forth. "Is this okay? I'm not too heavy?"

"You're perfect." He turned his head to press a kiss against Tom's forehead, his jawbone rubbing gently across Tom's skull with his slow motion.

Warm contentment curled over him at his lover's words. "Good. I missed this. You're comfy." His grin was audible in his voice.

Kyle huffed a laugh, tranquility washing over his mind. "You liked it when I called you comfy, didn't you?"

His eyes still comfortably closed as he breathed in the intoxicating scent of his boyfriend, Tom replied with a cheerful lilt in his voice. "Yep. So I'm returning the favour."

"How's that working out for you?"

"Pretty well. You see, this amazing man,' he paused to whisper, "the comfy one," he rubbed his thumb across Kyle's hipbone for emphasis "is still holding me. And he makes me feel incredibly safe."

Good. It had been a rough week for both of them and Kyle wanted Tom to feel as safe and secure in his arms as he did in Tom's. He wanted to give his lover that, even when he couldn't hold him close the way he normally would. "Mmmhmm. Sounds nice."

"It is." So nice it made him want more. Being so intimately close to Kyle only made him ache to be as close as humanly possible. It was far better than not touching Kyle at all. But it didn't feel like enough. "God, it's so hard to be with you like this knowing we both want more and we just can't."

Kyle sighed, he couldn't really argue with that. He didn't even want to. Bringing his hand up to cradle the back of his boyfriend's head and hold him close, Kyle gently nuzzled the side of his jaw against Tom's forehead before resting their heads together again. As much as he loved being held by Tom he had missed holding him in return. He knew Tom missed that too and this was as close as they could get to that until he healed more. But there was one thing he still needed to clarify about what they could and couldn't do. Because he wasn't sure Tom was all willing to push his boundaries. And once Kyle was medically cleared, they were going to need to explore a little to see what they could and couldn't do. They weren't going to discover what they could do without anciently finding a few things that were not going to work and immediately stopping. "I'm going to be in some pain for weeks, Tom. Whether we have sex or not. Yes, it hurts too much right now, but it hurts a little less every day. It'll be a couple of months if we wait until I'm completely healed." He pressed another gentle kiss to his lover's forehead, pulling away before the temptation to carefully tip Tom's head back and linger over his lips instead overwhelmed his resolve. "Are you really prepared to wait that long?"

Tom slid a little backward, far enough that he could actually see Kyle as he tried to find the right words to reply but close enough to stay in the curve of his unbroken arm. "I... Well..." Tom drew his brows together, his sheepish frown growing as he shook his head. Plaintively, he replied "No."

"Neither am I."

Then he added, "Unless we need to, medically. Then it's totally fine. Apart from the fact that I might go crazy." Tom shook his head rapidly, his tone still displaying determination wired with disbelief in his own capacity for patience. He'd manage. He had to. Well, hopefully he wouldn't have to. But if he did... "So, nope, no problem at all."

Kyle's lips twitched in amusement at the deadpan tone of Tom's final sentence. "Well, I need you too much to wait that long." He paused, still trying to dampen the arousal Tom's touch incited in him. Softly, he continued, "Tom, I promise, when I'm ready for that, I will tell you if something feel wrong or it hurts."

Tom had to grin at Kyle's impatience. At least he knew they were in this together. "Let's get you cleared by your doctor first. Then we can see what we can make work." He could push past being terrified of hurting Kyle with the promise that Kyle would tell him if he was in pain. They could work around any positions that hurt as long as Tom was sure he wouldn't actually injure his boyfriend. He wasn't sure about that at all right now. Every day helped through. Until five minutes ago they hadn't had a way for Kyle to hold Tom. Now they did. That was progress.

"Oh good. I was worried you might want us to wait until I was completely pain-free. And the only thing that would stop me from jumping you before that is if you didn't want me." He trailed his hand down Tom's chest, dragging across the material until Tom shivered. Kyle's eyes were dark with the possibilities. They would have plenty of time to make up for once he was cleared. With a grin he added with conviction. "I know that's not true."

Tom muttered under his breath. "Really not true." There wasn't much in his life that had ever been less true. Then, with a groan, he started the process of getting up. If he lay here any longer with Kyle looking so deliciously disheveled, he'd only test their self-control. Smiling, he leaned in to drift a kiss across Kyle's cheek. "Come on, let's go home."

*****************************************************************************************************************************************

Technical rehearsal dawned early for the cast and crew of Hit List, who were preparing for the crazy day that heralded the full technical rehearsal. Kyle Bishop, on the other hand, slept in, wrapped in the comfort of his boyfriend's arms. By the time he woke up, coffee had flowed liberally to his friends and rehearsal had begun. Kyle stopped to spare his best friend a thought as Kyle enjoyed breakfast with his boyfriend. Jimmy had probably downed instant coffee and toast, thrown on his jeans and dashed out to the subway. As crazy as Kyle knew tech would be, he wished he could be there. The show didn't need him to be there, Kyle knew that, but he still would have liked to be there every step of the way. Oh well, he couldn't do much about it. For now he would just enjoy the delicious breakfast Tom had made and rest up. There was lots of work to be done in the days ahead and he had to be well rested and ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hello lovely readers! I hope you had a great weekend and you enjoyed the chapter. They'd had a rough couple of chapters - I thought they deserved a little break before rushing into the insanity of opening Hit List. As always, I'd love to hear what you thought! Until next time, Rose


	29. The morning of invited dress

The morning of the Invited Dress, Kyle slowly swam back to consciousness, aware of how warm and comfortable he was. It was still early, though his mind jolted with the thought that the invited dress rehearsal was tonight. He flicked his eyes open to glance blearily around the room before groaning and turning his face into Tom's chest to hide from light creeping into the silent room. It wasn't particularly effective and he groaned as his eyes watered painfully. The curtains were still drawn but a few streams of light had crept through the gaps, as they were often wont to do. At the noise, Tom's hand lifted to settle gently over Kyle's eyes, shielding him from the stabbing sunbeams. Kyle pressed a kiss to the warm weave of Tom's pyjama shirt in thanks. That was much better. Kyle was far too tired and too comfortable right here entwined with the man he loved to want to get up, wishing instead he could drift back in the hazy embrace of sleep now Tom's hand was just perfectly placed to protect him from the harsh light of day. But he had to stay awake. He'd had his chance to rest and relax the day before. Now he had things to do. Shifting out of the sunlight, Kyle leisurely stretched out his limbs, awakening the muscles before resettling back close to his boyfriend for a soft morning kiss.

His voice still gravelly with sleep, Tom murmured, "Mmm, good morning to you too."

"Morning." He craned his neck around to check the clock. That's what he'd thought, as much as he'd wished he was wrong. They only had about ten minutes before the alarm went off. Another swift kiss and he added "We should probably get up."

Tom followed Kyle's line of sight to squint at the iridescent blue numbers of his alarm clock. Ten minutes, he could work with that. He reached over to switch off the alarm, swatting at the buttons until the tiny alarm symbol disappeared from the display. They were already awake and they didn't need to adrenalin jolt of the buzzer blasting through the room. He curled his arm back around Kyle's shoulders with a contented sigh. "Not yet. It's going to be a busy day. Let's take the few minutes we have."

Kyle let Tom's words convince him, his eyes slipping shut again, just for a minute. It would be a long day, between his hospital check up, Jimmy's appointment and then invited dress. His boyfriend was right, they should take the few minutes they had to spend together. "Okay. I'm too comfy to get up just yet anyway." Although, it occured to him that there where were more fun things they could do with ten minutes than doze. Besides it was the responsible thing to do since he couldn't risk falling back to sleep now the alarm was disabled. With a grin Kyle tipped his head backwards, opening his eyes again so he could plant a soft kiss to the side of Tom's neck. Kyle applied just a little suction; he didn't want to leave a mark after all.

"Mmm, okay." Tom sighed with contentment, tilting his head down to capture Kyle's top lip between his own for another gentle kiss. Apparently Kyle would rather use ten minute to kiss than nap. He was so on board with that.

After indulging himself for a few long minutes, Kyle pulled away from the kiss. They really were on a tight schedule. "So, back to what you were saying about a busy day. It'll be good to get my stitches out. I need to get cleared for work, too." He hardly worked in a physically intensive field. Kyle was pretty sure he'd be cleared just fine. His doctor had known his schedule and his timeframe when she'd released him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course! Anything."

Another morning and Tom could have fun with that, but instead he'd take it as it was intended. They were short on time after all. "Would it actually stop you going to work tonight if you aren't cleared?"

Honestly... "Probably not."

With a resigned smile, Tom responded, "Yeah, I didn't think so."

Kyle grimaced at Tom's "I can rest in a week's time. Once we open." There would be a few press engagements to do, but the majority of those would fall on the shoulders of their leads, particularly Karen. He'd have as much time to rest as he needed.

Yeah, that wasn't very reassuring. Not that he could really blame Kyle. Tom had never been able to consider his own health in the midst of opening a show either. Of course, he'd never been recovering from nearly dying at the same time. Even working 20 hours a day for a week or two he'd never been risking much more than short-term exhaustion. Still, it meant Tom understood why Kyle wouldn't want to put his health first at the expense of his show. It just wasn't something someone who'd nearly died could afford to do. "Just be careful, please. You're still recovering. You can't just put it off for a week and expect there to be no consequences."

"I know. I'll be careful." He would. But not so careful that his work suffered. Just as careful as he had to not injure himself further. He could rest when he had more time.

That was all Tom could really ask for. It didn't hurt that he'd be there to make sure Kyle followed through and did take care of himself. "Good, good. So, your doctor's appointment, then Jimmy's, then back here for a few hours before Invited Dress?"

"Yeah. It'll be good to meet Jimmy's new psychiatrist and then there's a few things he and I need to take care of." Kyle had done some Googling yesterday and apparently it wasn't legal to sign a contract under a pen name. Kyle wanted to double check all the rules about nom de plumes with a lawyer specialising in entertainment contracts but Kyle already knew it meant he and Jimmy had to fix the problem with Jimmy's identity fast. Only then could Jimmy safely have Hit List's contract redrawn and re-signed under his real name. Before that, Kyle needed to get them to talk to a lawyer and make sure Jimmy wasn't going to end up in jail. And, Kyle thought to himself with a sigh, before that, he had to convince Jimmy that Emily was fine. He really couldn't afford to wait any longer to start dealing with the issues.

"I'm sure it'll work out, Kyle. He's way too talented to throw it all away."

With a sad smile and furrowed brow, Kyle responded. "I know he is. He's the one that needs convincing." Between Jimmy's father's crushing abuse and Jimmy own self-hatred over what had happened with Emily, Kyle wasn't sure Jimmy even believed he deserved things to go well. Let alone that he was talented enough to make that happen. Kyle was now sure Emily was fine, but he needed to give Jimmy the clarity of belief that came from realising that himself. Instead of having Jimmy hunt all over the suburb the party had been in, probably taking him a few hours to go through on Google street view, Kyle had wanted to narrow down the location a little. The few details he knew from Jimmy – that he'd travelled by train and walked from the station, stopping to make out with Emily behind bushes a few times on the way had been quite helpful. His best friend simply couldn't have travelled that far in about half an hour while stopping a few times along on the way. That added to the fact they'd ended up in an illustrious neighbourhood had been enough for Kyle to narrow things down to a few blocks for Jimmy to search through on Google Maps. It shouldn't take long for Jimmy to find the house from its photo. Once he did, all Kyle would have to do was a quick reverse address search to get the number. If he was lucky, one five minute phone call later, Kyle would have the information Jimmy needed. It probably wouldn't take them more than hour in total. Jimmy deserved to not spend his life feeling like he'd killed someone. Not when he hadn't. So Kyle just had to convince his best friend of that, and then begin rapidly unwinding the hiding place Jimmy had made himself in time for Hit List to open. It wasn't going to be easy for Jimmy to officially return to the land of the living. But Kyle would make sure he supported Jimmy to get it all fixed. Because Jimmy deserved that. Whether his best friend believed it yet or not.

Tom gently tapped on Kyle's forehead. "What's going on in here?" Kyle had gone quiet for a few minutes and Tom could practically hear the gears turning in his boyfriend's brilliant brain.

"Just worried about Jimmy. I should be able to tell you more this afternoon." He bit his lip, unsure how Tom would take this little revelation. "Uh, we will need to speak to a lawyer."

That wasn't good. His brain jolted with adrenalin, sharpening on the problem as each rapid beat of his heart sent his blood skittering through his veins. He'd known Jimmy had issues but he hadn't realised they included trouble with the law. And there wasn't really any other reason Kyle would need to talk with a lawyer about Jimmy. Tom could only hope that Kyle wasn't involved as anything more that Jimmy's support structure. With worry writ bright in his eyes, Tom enquired "Are you in trouble?"

Kyle should have realised Tom might take that statement that way. He immediately moved to reassure his boyfriend. "No, not me. Jimmy might be. He needs to talk to a lawyer to check and I need to be there to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." Like insist on confessing. He could definitely see Jimmy doing that as some kind of personal penance. Even if he hadn't actually killed Emily.

"Criminal lawyer, right?"

"Right. Then an entertainment attorney." Should he explain why? It wasn't like Kyle was the only one that knew this little tidbit of information. His parents knew. He knew that Derek and Scott knew, as did Karen. As did the New York Times fact checker. He trusted Tom would keep the information under wraps and Kyle desperately needed help to get everything done in time. He'd hoped it could wait a few days. But once he'd realised the Hit List contract was invalid, it brought his timetable up a bit. They couldn't afford to wait and Kyle trusted Tom enough to let him into part of Jimmy's secret. "Tom, Jimmy Collins isn't his real name and he signed the Hit List contract under it."

Shock rocketed through Tom's body, tensing his muscles. There was obviously much more going on here than he'd realised. What on earth had Jimmy done to need to change his name? People didn't run away and change their name over an unpaid parking ticket! Then again, Kyle obviously knew what happened and he was trying to help. So Tom would have to trust that it couldn't be as bad as he was imagining. Even if it was, Tom would do his best to help the talented young composer and the man he loved out of whatever mess Jimmy had made. Mind still stuttering with surprise at the revelation Jimmy had changed his name, Tom replied absentmindedly. "Uh wow. Yeah, he'll have to re-sign your contract." Though that was hardly the most important thing. If Jimmy had been living under a false identity there were a bunch og other problems they'd have to solve. He worried his bottom lip with his teeth before hesitantly asking, "Why did he change his name?"

"He's running from something." Kyle shook his head briefly, locking his eyes onto Tom's in earnest. "I'm sorry, but I can't tell you what without his permission. But I don't think it happened the way he thinks it did."

"It's fine Kyle, just tell me what you can. Is that what you were researching yesterday?" He'd noticed Kyle tapping away at his laptop with great attention. Since he knew Kyle usually preferred to write his ideas into his notebook, Tom had figured he'd been doing something else. With Jimmy in the middle of technical rehearsal Kyle wouldn't have been able to set up appointments, but he could try to piece together whatever had really happened that had made Jimmy run.

"Yeah. I think it turned out differently that he remembers. So I've been trying to find out what really happened. I need to make sure he can safely use his real name for contracts at least." In order to do that he had to be safe from the police, officially exist with a nice papertrail and make nice with the tax office. It was easier than it sounded.

"Will he keep using Jimmy Collins?"

Kyle shrugged. "I honestly don't know. I was never quite convinced he only changed it because of what happened and not at least partially to get away from his family." It was the timing that gave Kyle that impression. Jimmy had run away and gone off the grid after the Emily situation, yes, but he hadn't changed his name until after getting away from Adam a few years later. "It doesn't matter. I just want to make sure he's safe and everything's legal. Do you know anyone?"

"The entertainment lawyer is easy. I can ask my lawyer to come over this afternoon or tomorrow if you want. She's great and can liaise with Jerry's lawyers to fix the contract problems. An accountant isn't a problem either, again, I can give mine a call."

That was two problems solved then. Or at least two experts that would be able to solve those two problems. "Thank you, Tom. I can't even tell you how much that helps."

"It's no problem, sweetheart. I'm happy to help. Um, if Jimmy isn't comfortable with me paying for their help, let him know he can reimburse me later." After Jimmy had received the advance for Hit List and could actually afford to pay Tom back. It wouldn't be that much for a few hours work and Tom really didn't mind helping out but he doubted Jimmy would accept the help. "But you need a criminal lawyer first, right? I can't really recommend anyone." Well, that wasn't entirely true. "Uh, well, I can, but he's my ex... I'm not sure that's a good idea."

Not really, no. There were plenty of good lawyers in New York; Kyle didn't need to add to the drama they'd faced lately by hiring Tom's ex. Derek had already done that with Hit List. One was more than enough. "Maybe not. God, this day is going to be crazy. I don't know how I'm going to find time to do everything." He lifted his hand to rub tiredly at his eyes. The day had barely started and he was exhausted already.

"Why don't I organise the lawyers, Kyle? While you and Jimmy are at his appointment? I'm sure I can get a good recommendation from a friend." Not Julia, obviously, since her recommendation would probably be John as well. But he did have other friends. He'd be able to find a good recommendation for Jimmy. If he was lucky, he'd probably even be able to get an urgent appointment set up for Kyle and Jimmy, maybe even this afternoon. The sooner the better as far as he was concerned.

"Thanks, Tom." He kissed Tom again as warm gratitude suffused through him. That was one less thing he had to worry about. He could trust Tom to help and take care of some of the details for Jimmy, just as Kyle had known he would. Kyle didn't have to do it all alone this time and he loved that he finally had someone else in his life that he could rely on. His parents were great but he needed more than that. And Jimmy wasn't the reliable friend he'd once been. Kyle had needed to be the reliable one for the both of them. It was a relief to have someone else he could turn to.

"You're welcome." With one final kiss, Tom checked out the iridescent figures on his clock again. With a sigh, he started getting up. "It's been more like 25 minutes than ten. Now we really do have to get up."

Kyle just smiled at him. At least it had been a productive start to the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hello my lovely readers! I hope you're enjoying life :-) Sorry this took absolutely forever. I really don't have a good excuse - the festive season after I posted the last chapter was fun but unproductive (I was travelling so was too busy being a tourist to write) and ever since then university has been kicking my butt (it's still winning...) Life is still kind of crazy, so I'm going to aim for having the next chapter out in 2 weeks instead of 1. But I can still see these two in my head - as long as that's the case I will (eventually!) finish the story! So, thank you for sticking with me and hope you enjoyed the chapter!


End file.
